(no subject)
As I sit, I try to block out our conversation from my head. Moments of weakness have me dissecting it but there was nothing to dissect. You lied about who you are seeing/fucking. You tell me you wish things with me had changed 8 months ago so we would be happy now. You tell me the pain I caused is to deep and you wish you could forgive me. That you try to move on but your feelings for me bubble to the surface, that it screws everything up. That you still have the images in your head, I tell you I can relate. That I understand what that finally means. You surround yourself with friends, so you never feel lonely. When you are alone you miss me. It made you cry when you realized I can relate to your pain, you told me you loved me. Then hung up the phone.
I have wanted to cry over you since I found out your dating, but I can't. I have blocked the pain from my mind, the want of you. I have mentally kept myself busy, or trying to. So why today, did I wake up with this ache? I can not wait for it to end. Till enough time passes where you don't enter my thoughts that day. Where you are not the voice in my head I speak to.
My mind has become dull because I asked it to stop hurting. To protect me it is trying to become blank. I feel as though its cloudy, nothing makes sense.
I want to be surrounded by people who are enjoying life right now, that are chasing the fun. Laughter flowing free and smiles flying high. That is where I need to be, to feel that and only that.
I know one thing, I'm never speaking to you again.
I have wanted to cry over you since I found out your dating, but I can't. I have blocked the pain from my mind, the want of you. I have mentally kept myself busy, or trying to. So why today, did I wake up with this ache? I can not wait for it to end. Till enough time passes where you don't enter my thoughts that day. Where you are not the voice in my head I speak to.
My mind has become dull because I asked it to stop hurting. To protect me it is trying to become blank. I feel as though its cloudy, nothing makes sense.
I want to be surrounded by people who are enjoying life right now, that are chasing the fun. Laughter flowing free and smiles flying high. That is where I need to be, to feel that and only that.
I know one thing, I'm never speaking to you again.