yayzers!
Soo...I totally came down and suprised Jermiaha at the bar! Felt like a secret agent hiding in a dark corner waiting, what would totally made it better if I had a silk scarf over my hair and big over side glasses smokin a cig with a cig holder, sipping on a martini. Oh yes... lol at night. But yes I came up behind him when he was standing at a bar and gave him a huge bear hug. He was suprised which made my trip totally worth it! YAY for great friends with bigs hearts. Went to his bday bash today which was a total blast, best night is a while.
I've been so happy these past 3 days I've been home. I've been thinking a lot while I'm in LA, realised... I mean really realised how many one sided friendships I have with people, I hate it. I'm done with one sided-ness. I use to just forgive and forgive and always be there for so many people. Just listening and supporting. I realised a lot of these people, well I bet they couldn't even tell me what happened the past week to me, because the minute I start talking about my life they suddenly have to go. I'm just... Done. Which is fine. I'm not going to sever friendships, I don't want to burn bridges. I'm not going to do that. I think it is dumb.
I don't think I've been ok in LA honestly. I mean, yes I've hated it but these past two weeks, sice the stress from Davis lifted from the moving, I just... Have been so down. It took a lot to admit that to myself that I've been really depressed and I had a huge emotional break down tonight and basically ran away. but ya. I've been so happy since I came back, I feel...
I feel... like myself. I can be me.
I'm happy bouncy enjoying things. I just, well I don't know. And I don't know if I'm just happy because it's like I'm visting...Or really, there are factors here that just make me happy...the fresh air? The true friends that I have that support me through everything? The trees? The stupid davis hippies? lol... I just don't know. I think I've created a really good plan for the next 6 months. It's really sound and logical. And, I know for me this is weird, but I need logic. This plan I created is just my needs and I made it on my own, with no one s input. So yes, this is my frist descion on my own. I hope it works.
I love my friends. Thankyou for accepting and loving me.
I've been so happy these past 3 days I've been home. I've been thinking a lot while I'm in LA, realised... I mean really realised how many one sided friendships I have with people, I hate it. I'm done with one sided-ness. I use to just forgive and forgive and always be there for so many people. Just listening and supporting. I realised a lot of these people, well I bet they couldn't even tell me what happened the past week to me, because the minute I start talking about my life they suddenly have to go. I'm just... Done. Which is fine. I'm not going to sever friendships, I don't want to burn bridges. I'm not going to do that. I think it is dumb.
I don't think I've been ok in LA honestly. I mean, yes I've hated it but these past two weeks, sice the stress from Davis lifted from the moving, I just... Have been so down. It took a lot to admit that to myself that I've been really depressed and I had a huge emotional break down tonight and basically ran away. but ya. I've been so happy since I came back, I feel...
I feel... like myself. I can be me.
I'm happy bouncy enjoying things. I just, well I don't know. And I don't know if I'm just happy because it's like I'm visting...Or really, there are factors here that just make me happy...the fresh air? The true friends that I have that support me through everything? The trees? The stupid davis hippies? lol... I just don't know. I think I've created a really good plan for the next 6 months. It's really sound and logical. And, I know for me this is weird, but I need logic. This plan I created is just my needs and I made it on my own, with no one s input. So yes, this is my frist descion on my own. I hope it works.
I love my friends. Thankyou for accepting and loving me.