Hiya, I randomly found your name through someone's LJ comments, I think maybe a low brass chica. They went to my school and are the moderators and stuff, so I know them. I play french horn too, but they don't consider us low brass :) I got to be an honorary member for a day though because I ran into a judge during a marching competition.
Anyways I read your last post and I just wanted to offer some words that will make ya feel a lil better. Everyone goes through these points in life. Goodness knows I've been there plenty of times, and for the silliest reasons. My father has always put tons of pressure on me to be perfect in so many ways, and most of the time he just succeeded in making me feel inadequate. I just moved and am now the new girl at my school. I didn't make many friends at first and even ate alone at lunch for a little while. Try looking for new friends in different places, maybe try some new clubs? There is always someone out there who will accept you for who you are. It will get better, I promise. I kept a journal of how I felt at times, and looking back and reading my close-to-suicide, pages wrinkled with tears entries, I laughed at how emotional and depressed I had become over nothing. The best way I found to deal with my stress and self-loathing was to write songs, with just my guitar and my voice. Try picking up guitar if you haven't, you'll get the hang of it within a week or so, it doesn't matter how well you can or can't sing, and some guys certainly think that playing guitar is attractive. I'm sure you have an amazing personality, everyone who's not skinny and blonde does :) At least, that's what I tell myself whenever I get rejected by a boy..."It's my personality that matters, yeah...that's right."
So if you just need a friend to talk, rant, or bitch to, you can email me at rach2oh@gmail.com. I'll be perfectly happy to respond, and promptly, too, I might add.
Anyways I read your last post and I just wanted to offer some words that will make ya feel a lil better. Everyone goes through these points in life. Goodness knows I've been there plenty of times, and for the silliest reasons. My father has always put tons of pressure on me to be perfect in so many ways, and most of the time he just succeeded in making me feel inadequate. I just moved and am now the new girl at my school. I didn't make many friends at first and even ate alone at lunch for a little while. Try looking for new friends in different places, maybe try some new clubs? There is always someone out there who will accept you for who you are. It will get better, I promise. I kept a journal of how I felt at times, and looking back and reading my close-to-suicide, pages wrinkled with tears entries, I laughed at how emotional and depressed I had become over nothing. The best way I found to deal with my stress and self-loathing was to write songs, with just my guitar and my voice. Try picking up guitar if you haven't, you'll get the hang of it within a week or so, it doesn't matter how well you can or can't sing, and some guys certainly think that playing guitar is attractive. I'm sure you have an amazing personality, everyone who's not skinny and blonde does :) At least, that's what I tell myself whenever I get rejected by a boy..."It's my personality that matters, yeah...that's right."
So if you just need a friend to talk, rant, or bitch to, you can email me at rach2oh@gmail.com. I'll be perfectly happy to respond, and promptly, too, I might add.
<3 Your friendly neighborhood Rachel
(HBKA)High Brass Kicks Ass!
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