in matching blue raincoats..
i remember when i used to run to my dad when he came home from work and hug him like i hadn't seen him in years. i used to enjoy climbing the trees in my yard, or sit on the roof of our garage with my sisters. i felt so tall then. like no one else was higher than i was. i used to be so shy, i still am, but the friends i made back then actually liked me for me. they didn't act, they didn't pretend, they didn't bad mouth me to everyone else when i wasn't there. "just between us" doesn't mean anything to people anymore. it means something to me though, which is why i probably don't understand why they find a need to spread news that they don't even have a right to spread. we all go through hardships, but we all want people to know what we go through. i don't want to do that anymore. i won't, at least i'll try not to. everyone is turning into the same person. it's like the only thing we have left are our signatures. i need to just break away for a while. be by myself. i have yoga tonight again - you should probably come along. hopefully that'll de-stress me. i can't stop thinking about it. i can't stop wishing i had it. i can't stop imagining how it would be when you finally came to your senses...or when i finally realized what i need to do.
"As 4 in the morning came on, cold and boring,
We huddled close
In the bus stop enclosure enfolding.
Our hands tightly holding.
But here in our hollow we fuse like a family,
But I will not mourn for you.
So take up your makeup
And pocket your pills away.
We're kings among runaways
On the bus mall.
We're down
On the bus mall. "