Blah
I have been feeling like crap for the past couple of days. I have been very confused with boys in general, more so than I care to put up for everyone to see. I will not even start on that. I realized tonight that I have not seen my best friend in almost a month now, and my phone convos with her have dwindled to the point of 1 or 2 calls a week. Most of which go unanswered and unreturned. This leaves me with little hope of us staying close once I move to Ashland. I called my other chick about this tonight, and to talk to her about how I was sad that I never see either of them anymore. She told me she had another call and would call me back, but alas she did not ever call back. A little fucked up I think since I called her to talk about the fact that we dont talk enough anymore. Jenn and I have been talking a lot lately, seeing as she is probably my closest girl friend at the moment. We both have gone through personal tragedys that we have confided fully only in each other, which has brought us closer in recent days. It is nice having her around.
I have run into a lot of guys that i used to date in the past couple of days, very wierd...It is a conspiracy I'm sure....right. Anywhoo, I realized tonight that I know only have 2 weeks until I move out of my home for the first time. I'm scared shitless! I have not even begun to pack, I really have not packed the first thing...I should probably start on that. My mom has been freaking out about me leaving (I'm an only child if that explains more). She has been asking me to be at home a lot more than usual, and for the first time I really dont mind. As much as I hate to admit it, I think I am really going to miss her when I go. Infact, I am getting a little sad about not living here, just thinking about it.
I watched a chick flick tonight (never again!) by myself, mom wanted to watch patriotism through sports (Olympics). It made me really depressed. In the movie the chick falls for this guy and in turn he completely falls for her (generic chick flick plot outline). I got sad because I feel like I have cared a lot for a couple of guys in the past few months and am upset of their lack (as I see it) of recipricle caring for me. That is as much as I care to touch om that subject.
This weekend was ok and very confusing, for me at least. Friday I was D.D. for a friend. She wanted to go to frat parties, so I dropped her off and told her to call me when I should come get her. I then went and spent from midnight till 5am at AWS with Ryan. We ended up just sitting around and watching tv all night. When I finally did go get my friend, she made me go by sheets and Walmart before finally heading back to her place. I ended up driving home at 8 that morning. The fucked up thing was that I agreed to be the D friday if she would be my DD Sat, I didnt even see her car on Sat. The parties on Sat were fun, I was SOOOOO drunk. I ended up completely sober by the time I got back from walking the 6 blocks to and from Andrew's house. I went with six others to make sure a situation got resolved. Since I had no DD I asked Ryan if i could crash at AWS for the night (though I was sober at this point, I didn't feel like going home at 2 in the morning). After getting situated at Ryans (i.e. in bed about to pass out) Andrew calls to say that he can't sleep, is really bored, and can't watch tv because people are sleeping in his living room. Being the nice girl that I am (at times) I offered to come over and hang out with him, since Ryan was passing out in the chair across from me. So I got Ryan's keys and went to Andrew's where I stayed till 5:30, when I left bery confused. I crashed at Ryan's till 9 and drove back to my home. Sunday I ended up back at AWS after food not bombs, where I had a very long talk with Lanny. I like Lanny more and more everytime I talk to him. Plus he provides me with something to do late at night (read his live journal)
Monday and Today I hung out with Ryan, Andrew, Renee (who I just love), and Eddie (who I feel bad for, because I call him to vent so much). I went out to lunch with my Grandmother, Aunt, and Uncle today. We sat around and talked about how we all wanted to protest my dad's wedding (August 21). The wedding is on the same night as the Queers show, so I am skipping the first part of the reception so I can see the dropouts play (I am going in my bridesmaid dress). I might just say,"fuck it" and stay for the whole show. Why should I go to a party to celebrate an event that I dont even agree with in the first place?
It is absurd to me that I called to make a Dr's appointment (with my regular physician) today, and the earliest they have an appointmet with any of the drs. is on the 25th. That is more than a week!!! I think I need to start going somewhere else, considdering that this will be the 3rd time I have had to come in this month to see them. I wish they would just tell me what is wrong with me instead of making me pat 15 dollars to come in there and have them tell me to come back in 2 weeks twice now.
Now I am pissed off and going to bed.
~Emily
I have run into a lot of guys that i used to date in the past couple of days, very wierd...It is a conspiracy I'm sure....right. Anywhoo, I realized tonight that I know only have 2 weeks until I move out of my home for the first time. I'm scared shitless! I have not even begun to pack, I really have not packed the first thing...I should probably start on that. My mom has been freaking out about me leaving (I'm an only child if that explains more). She has been asking me to be at home a lot more than usual, and for the first time I really dont mind. As much as I hate to admit it, I think I am really going to miss her when I go. Infact, I am getting a little sad about not living here, just thinking about it.
I watched a chick flick tonight (never again!) by myself, mom wanted to watch patriotism through sports (Olympics). It made me really depressed. In the movie the chick falls for this guy and in turn he completely falls for her (generic chick flick plot outline). I got sad because I feel like I have cared a lot for a couple of guys in the past few months and am upset of their lack (as I see it) of recipricle caring for me. That is as much as I care to touch om that subject.
This weekend was ok and very confusing, for me at least. Friday I was D.D. for a friend. She wanted to go to frat parties, so I dropped her off and told her to call me when I should come get her. I then went and spent from midnight till 5am at AWS with Ryan. We ended up just sitting around and watching tv all night. When I finally did go get my friend, she made me go by sheets and Walmart before finally heading back to her place. I ended up driving home at 8 that morning. The fucked up thing was that I agreed to be the D friday if she would be my DD Sat, I didnt even see her car on Sat. The parties on Sat were fun, I was SOOOOO drunk. I ended up completely sober by the time I got back from walking the 6 blocks to and from Andrew's house. I went with six others to make sure a situation got resolved. Since I had no DD I asked Ryan if i could crash at AWS for the night (though I was sober at this point, I didn't feel like going home at 2 in the morning). After getting situated at Ryans (i.e. in bed about to pass out) Andrew calls to say that he can't sleep, is really bored, and can't watch tv because people are sleeping in his living room. Being the nice girl that I am (at times) I offered to come over and hang out with him, since Ryan was passing out in the chair across from me. So I got Ryan's keys and went to Andrew's where I stayed till 5:30, when I left bery confused. I crashed at Ryan's till 9 and drove back to my home. Sunday I ended up back at AWS after food not bombs, where I had a very long talk with Lanny. I like Lanny more and more everytime I talk to him. Plus he provides me with something to do late at night (read his live journal)
Monday and Today I hung out with Ryan, Andrew, Renee (who I just love), and Eddie (who I feel bad for, because I call him to vent so much). I went out to lunch with my Grandmother, Aunt, and Uncle today. We sat around and talked about how we all wanted to protest my dad's wedding (August 21). The wedding is on the same night as the Queers show, so I am skipping the first part of the reception so I can see the dropouts play (I am going in my bridesmaid dress). I might just say,"fuck it" and stay for the whole show. Why should I go to a party to celebrate an event that I dont even agree with in the first place?
It is absurd to me that I called to make a Dr's appointment (with my regular physician) today, and the earliest they have an appointmet with any of the drs. is on the 25th. That is more than a week!!! I think I need to start going somewhere else, considdering that this will be the 3rd time I have had to come in this month to see them. I wish they would just tell me what is wrong with me instead of making me pat 15 dollars to come in there and have them tell me to come back in 2 weeks twice now.
Now I am pissed off and going to bed.
~Emily