County's Best Bear Bait -- Next Left
Everytime I start to get jaded about my job and think that nothing interesting ever happens there, I have a day like today.
We're having a county-wide heat wave in a county known for crappy weather, which always drive the crazies out into the open. I was expecting Job #1 to be full of annoyances today, but instead I got distilled amazingness.
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I'd only been at work for ~20 minutes before the conversational tangle had my coworkers and I singing songs about Coworker L's missing ovary. From the point of view of the one she still has.
I'M ALL ALONE, THERE'S NO ONE HERE BESIIIIIIDE MEEE
and
I'M A BELIEVER, I COULDN'T LEAVE HER IF I TRIED
I provide no context because the context wouldn't even help.
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After my coworkers had both gone home and I had the bakery to myself, a couple Fish and Wildlife guys came by to pick up a dozen doughnuts. To bait a bear trap. I am not even kidding. The conversation went a little like this:
Me: "You seriously catch bears with doughnuts?!"
F&W guy: "Oh yeah! Bears like anything super sweet and sticky. Do you happen to have anything cheap and older back there?"
Me: "Um, there's a discount rack down the aisle behind you? I might have some doughnuts on there; I know for a fact I have a couple apple pies! Will those work?"
F&W guy: "Nah, pie's not sweet enough. Bears like maple bars."
So, you heard it here first, folks. Honey's not sweet enough for these modern bears; maple bars are their drug of choice.
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I was in such a good mood for the rest of my shift that everything was magical. The SM came by to bake off some bread and got really confused when she couldn't get the rack into the oven, until I pointed out that here was *already* a rack in the oven. I then had to reassure her that she wasn't the only one, as when I went into the freezer to get the bread for her to bake off I first had to take out Coworker L's rack of cut doughnuts she forgot to put in the retarder, *and* I found L's missing pair of hot pads.
I wrote L a note that basically said "Yeah, you remember when you flooded the dish pit on Earth Day? This was just as funny."
Now I don't have to go back to Job #1 until next Monday, and I spend the next two days at Job #2! And since the weather's supposed to be in the 80s all week I may even get to go to Job #3!! If I could just get rid of this damn migraine this week would be freaking amazing.
This entry was originally posted at http://scorpionvoices.dreamwidth.org/60124.html, where there are
comments.
We're having a county-wide heat wave in a county known for crappy weather, which always drive the crazies out into the open. I was expecting Job #1 to be full of annoyances today, but instead I got distilled amazingness.
------
I'd only been at work for ~20 minutes before the conversational tangle had my coworkers and I singing songs about Coworker L's missing ovary. From the point of view of the one she still has.
I'M ALL ALONE, THERE'S NO ONE HERE BESIIIIIIDE MEEE
and
I'M A BELIEVER, I COULDN'T LEAVE HER IF I TRIED
I provide no context because the context wouldn't even help.
------
After my coworkers had both gone home and I had the bakery to myself, a couple Fish and Wildlife guys came by to pick up a dozen doughnuts. To bait a bear trap. I am not even kidding. The conversation went a little like this:
Me: "You seriously catch bears with doughnuts?!"
F&W guy: "Oh yeah! Bears like anything super sweet and sticky. Do you happen to have anything cheap and older back there?"
Me: "Um, there's a discount rack down the aisle behind you? I might have some doughnuts on there; I know for a fact I have a couple apple pies! Will those work?"
F&W guy: "Nah, pie's not sweet enough. Bears like maple bars."
So, you heard it here first, folks. Honey's not sweet enough for these modern bears; maple bars are their drug of choice.
------
I was in such a good mood for the rest of my shift that everything was magical. The SM came by to bake off some bread and got really confused when she couldn't get the rack into the oven, until I pointed out that here was *already* a rack in the oven. I then had to reassure her that she wasn't the only one, as when I went into the freezer to get the bread for her to bake off I first had to take out Coworker L's rack of cut doughnuts she forgot to put in the retarder, *and* I found L's missing pair of hot pads.
I wrote L a note that basically said "Yeah, you remember when you flooded the dish pit on Earth Day? This was just as funny."
Now I don't have to go back to Job #1 until next Monday, and I spend the next two days at Job #2! And since the weather's supposed to be in the 80s all week I may even get to go to Job #3!! If I could just get rid of this damn migraine this week would be freaking amazing.
This entry was originally posted at http://scorpionvoices.dreamwidth.org/60124.html, where there are
comments.