stressed!
I just spent the past 48 hours with Mike, and two days before that I spent another 48-72 hours with him, I don't really remember. But I miss him SO much, I love him sooo much, it hurts like crazy to be away from him for any time at all. He has a job now for the town of Readsboro for 40 hours a week. and I work 8 hours on the weekends.. I need a new job when he's working eh? Yeah I'm gonna go look tomorrow. It's really hitting me hard that Mike is moving away in a very shot period of time, forever. He keeps telling me that it's gonna work out between us, and he has to go for our future and for college and a good job... and I know he's right and I want to support him but.. on the other hand it feels like.. how could he do this to me?? How could he leave me? I feel so betrayed.. another thing thats really bothering me is going back to school. They put me in harder classes than I'm used to, and I dont think any of my friends are going to be in them and Im reallly realllly scared about it, I have a feeling Im gonna be stuck with all the jerks and bitchy rich snoty slutty girls and uptight preppy asshole guys... Im so scared, I cant stop thinking about it, to the point where I just want to say.. FUCK IT, I want to drop out of highschool and move in with mike in NY I can get my GED and start work early save up we move in together, I go to college, we live together, sounds a lot better than being stuck in scary classes that are way over my head with smart slutty bitches that dont like me away from the one person that makes me happy all the time and that I'm deeply in love with and want to spend the rest of my life with. That stupid High school diploma, MY FUCKING ASS I HATE THIS SO MUCH I JUST WANT TO SCREAM FOREVER AND EVER!!!!