around me surges a miracle of unceasing birth and glory and death and resurrection

[scorningthepomp]

i've gotten into the habit of wishing worse circumstances upon myself in order to try and remedey the bad circumstances i'm already in. probably not the best thing...actually, i really need to stop thinking that way. anyways, i am flat broke and i still need to get more christmas presents. i thought that i could just charge them and then worry about the money later, perhaps when i have a job...however, that plan has failed since my roommates packed away my credit cards and put it into storage (i think). this just makes my life SOOOO much more difficult. i guess now i should probably think about all of those people who are so much less fortunate than me. but still, i'm being selfish as all heck in the mindset that i just wanted to get gifts for those who i love and care about and i can't. grrrr....i hope i figure something out.
this is EXACTLY why i hate christmas. why we couldnt' just sit around and meditate on the birth of our Christ and have lovely church services and gatherings with the family SANS les cadeaux, i will never know...stupid commercialism-forcing me to sell my soul!