Re: from Jim oh wonderful JimscornedvowNovember 27 2004, 16:55:59 UTC
I had written a really long reply. I was calm and not nasty. No sarcasm. And now I've deleted everything because I'm pissed off again. I felt that we had walked a few steps in meeting again on a bridge tonight, just to have jumped back to the cliff hanging on for life as a chasm yet again appeared.
Why the fuck am I fighting with my friends about my boyfriend?
In no way had I given you up, first off. In NO WAY. Yet you were angry and yelling at me from the moment I said I was back with him. You forced this, you chose this. I don't even understand where the fuck your "Now I feel given up" came from, but it certainly wasn't from me. Did I stop calling you? Did I stop caring about you? Did I say I was going to stop being friends with you? NO.
Who I am? I'm the same goddamn person inside that I've been for a long time now. You of all people shouldn't have seen a difference in me when thinking of our relationship. Yes, I do not recognize what I've become around ANTREAS, but around you I was still the same. And you don't know who I am. Yeah ok.
I won't even argue my points about Alkis and Susi cuz im too bored, too tired, too drained, and my only focus now is clearing up this damn mess with you.
I don't give a shit whether you care about my relationship with Antreas or not. It's whether you care about me or not. I do know that I won't be going to anyone anymore if I have any problems with Antreas. I also know that twice in the past has repeated once again. I open up completely, I feel so comfortable and then I get startled back to reality. I am stepping back a little and closing myself up a little again, reflex, defense, whatever you want to call it. I love you, I know you care about me, but this hurt. A helluva lot.
Why the fuck am I fighting with my friends about my boyfriend?
In no way had I given you up, first off. In NO WAY. Yet you were angry and yelling at me from the moment I said I was back with him. You forced this, you chose this. I don't even understand where the fuck your "Now I feel given up" came from, but it certainly wasn't from me. Did I stop calling you? Did I stop caring about you? Did I say I was going to stop being friends with you? NO.
Who I am? I'm the same goddamn person inside that I've been for a long time now. You of all people shouldn't have seen a difference in me when thinking of our relationship. Yes, I do not recognize what I've become around ANTREAS, but around you I was still the same. And you don't know who I am. Yeah ok.
I won't even argue my points about Alkis and Susi cuz im too bored, too tired, too drained, and my only focus now is clearing up this damn mess with you.
I don't give a shit whether you care about my relationship with Antreas or not. It's whether you care about me or not. I do know that I won't be going to anyone anymore if I have any problems with Antreas. I also know that twice in the past has repeated once again. I open up completely, I feel so comfortable and then I get startled back to reality. I am stepping back a little and closing myself up a little again, reflex, defense, whatever you want to call it. I love you, I know you care about me, but this hurt. A helluva lot.
Reply
Leave a comment