Randomness of it all
So I went to visit my ex last night...I feel like me and her are drifting apart and Im going to all of a sudden fall into the caterogy of people she used to talk too...And honestly I dont want that. I have never wanted that with any of the past girls ive dated and i certantly dont want it with her. So after not being able to get ahold of her for 7 days which makes me nervous because of her past I finally was able to get ahold of her. So I drove all the way to see her (45 minutes from where i live) just so i could see her while she as working...a place where i knew she would have to talk to me until i left wihtout being able to hang up when she felt like she was done. So we talked...Im not sure if anything i said got through to her at all...i guess ill find out when something happens and i really need her. But Im still going to be there for her...I made a promise to not go anywhere and im going to keep it.
edit:
The whole situation with her is starting to get old and annoying...the more i think about it im pissed that she did a complet 360 on me and isnt even the same girl anymore. Yet she will call me when her exs name is mentioned but cant call me when i havent talked to her in like 2 weeks? Im sick of the stupid head games she plays...like fuck if you dont want me to care tell me and i wont...if you dont want to be with me its cool im well over it. Like you tell me you want to be friends but you put forth no effort into keeping in touch with me at all. You arent the same anymore...i dont like it. I dont think i could date you again becuase you arent the same person. I want to stop caring about what happens to you but at the same time thats not the type of person i am.
Im getting more nervous about having to tell my boss about being trans and transitioning. Its a huge thing and there is not way around having to tell them. Their daughter who works with me also has known for a while now about it and i know she told her mom (she told me she did) but still i have to talk to them about it. I need to know ill have a job after all is said and done. I cant go through this whole life changing event without a job without money and it just makes me nervous to acutally have to sit down and talk face to face with them about it. Im not ready yet but ill getthere hopfully soon.
Therapy went well this morning...i got the letter from my therapist that i can take to the dmv and get my shit changed. Funny how the therapist used the this is for if you get pulled over by a cop you can use this speech and on my way home from therapy i got pulled over. I didnt use it the guy was acting like i was going to pull a gun out and shoot him by the way he was acting around my truck. Pluys he pulled me over almost 10 minutes past from where i appretnly was speeding. he told me to frame my warning ticket HA. That is one warning ticket my mom will never find out about.
Oh and i started to talk to a girl from lj on Aim. Shes funny cute and extremely adorable. Kinda gives me hope that there are other girls out there that arent retarded in some sense. I seem to always get girls who are totally normal at first and then go nuts on me. Or they all of a sudden lose all interest in the relationship and blow me off hardcore like there was sumthing i had been doing wrong the whole time.
edit:
The whole situation with her is starting to get old and annoying...the more i think about it im pissed that she did a complet 360 on me and isnt even the same girl anymore. Yet she will call me when her exs name is mentioned but cant call me when i havent talked to her in like 2 weeks? Im sick of the stupid head games she plays...like fuck if you dont want me to care tell me and i wont...if you dont want to be with me its cool im well over it. Like you tell me you want to be friends but you put forth no effort into keeping in touch with me at all. You arent the same anymore...i dont like it. I dont think i could date you again becuase you arent the same person. I want to stop caring about what happens to you but at the same time thats not the type of person i am.
Im getting more nervous about having to tell my boss about being trans and transitioning. Its a huge thing and there is not way around having to tell them. Their daughter who works with me also has known for a while now about it and i know she told her mom (she told me she did) but still i have to talk to them about it. I need to know ill have a job after all is said and done. I cant go through this whole life changing event without a job without money and it just makes me nervous to acutally have to sit down and talk face to face with them about it. Im not ready yet but ill getthere hopfully soon.
Therapy went well this morning...i got the letter from my therapist that i can take to the dmv and get my shit changed. Funny how the therapist used the this is for if you get pulled over by a cop you can use this speech and on my way home from therapy i got pulled over. I didnt use it the guy was acting like i was going to pull a gun out and shoot him by the way he was acting around my truck. Pluys he pulled me over almost 10 minutes past from where i appretnly was speeding. he told me to frame my warning ticket HA. That is one warning ticket my mom will never find out about.
Oh and i started to talk to a girl from lj on Aim. Shes funny cute and extremely adorable. Kinda gives me hope that there are other girls out there that arent retarded in some sense. I seem to always get girls who are totally normal at first and then go nuts on me. Or they all of a sudden lose all interest in the relationship and blow me off hardcore like there was sumthing i had been doing wrong the whole time.