Always remember, bad days can get worse...
PeacefulPawn and I had it out earlier because not even two weeks ago I cut his hair as short as possible (AND even) with a pair of scissors considering our clippers are broken. It actually looked quite nice and he had even said he was pleased with it, but today when I want to get my hair cut because I can't cut it myself with scissors (I could barely do it with the clippers by myself) he wants his hair cut again! It was already less than an inch long to start! My hair is already to the shag-carpet degree of shabbiness... *growls* SO instead of me getting my hair cut I paid $11.50 for him to get his already cut hair cut.
Well, as if that wasn't enough grief...
I just caught my 14 and 15 year old brothers SMOKING!!! Little bastards lied to me and at first said it was a candle and that my other brother, the 15 year old, was in the closet because they were playing, and I quote, "hide and seek." PLEASE, tell me another one... After I went downstairs the "candle" turned into incense. RIGHT. After I burst into tears and walked all the way home the eldest of the two said, "Well, if she's going to get in my face about it, I'll just go back to Robert's (abusive biological father figure)!" Of course he was talking about mom then, but he was all like, "What does she care if I smoke!?" HELLO!!! Smoking is DEADLY and STUPID! Had the government known early on the hazzards of smoking cigarettes it would be illegal and dealt out on the streets like marajuana or something... In fact, who gives a crap about "If" anyways. 14 and 15 year olds who have no business smoking in the first place, smoke for only ONE reason, because they think it makes them look cool. Look older. Look more mature. Because their friends do it and they look older and more cool than the rest of the non-smoking squares in the world. Well you know what? F**K that! That's BULLS**T! Smoking is one of the dumbest things a person can do in this day and age, ESPECIALLY after hearing DAILY the risks and side effects of it. All through school I was around kids that smoked and thought they looked SO cool. Offered me smokes and I would always say "No." Such a simple word that some find so difficult to utter when they think they'll be uncool in the eyes of their pals... I wasn't afraid of it. I never sucuumbed to that kind of peer pressure because I saw what it did to the feeble-minded. Leave it to my brothers to get sucked into the scene. When will they get it? The choices that they make don't only effect them. There's a whole chain of people effected by one teenie tiny choice. I could have given a crap what kids thought of me because I didn't smoke, I didn't drink, I didn't do drugs, I didn't have unprotected pre-teen pre-marital sex. What did I care what the chain-smoking, alcoholic druggie adolescent nymphos thought of little ole' me... WHY? Because while they were out doing all of that mindless crap, I had the privilage of being "WEIRD." I was by no stretch of the imagination anything close to "normal" and I loved every minute of it! In my elementary I was the fastest runner in gym. In my high school I was one of the few, but proud, students that wasn't addicted to something or another and a. wasn't pregnant and b. didn't have an STD by the ripe old age of 15. Some dared to call me Miss Goody two-shoes and it was ME that got the laugh because while they sat like zombies stinking of tobacco, eyes dialated and crusty drool coming out of the corners of their mouths from brain cells long since annhialated, I sat and I paid attention from time to time. Showed up to classes from time to time. Had a plan for my life that WASN'T being a stoner. A plan that didn't include me as a middle-aged single barhopper/ex-prostitute with ashes two inches long on the ever-present cigarette butt hanging from thin wrinkled lips and tar-stained teeth. No. That was never my plan. So, while my brothers are off planning to drop out of high school and become teenage statistics, the boys mom's warn their daughters about, here I sit. Who the f**k cares??? Not a d**n body, that's who. Because here I thought I maybe got the honor of setting a precedent for my impressionable brothers whom I could not save the one day that they probably needed saving from their big sister and it was all for nothing. Well, there's still hope, with my son, but for now it feels like all of my effort fell upon blind eyes and deaf ears. *SCREAMS*
And to think, all I wanted this morning when I woke up was to dye my hair fire-engine red and eat some god-danged breakfast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, as if that wasn't enough grief...
I just caught my 14 and 15 year old brothers SMOKING!!! Little bastards lied to me and at first said it was a candle and that my other brother, the 15 year old, was in the closet because they were playing, and I quote, "hide and seek." PLEASE, tell me another one... After I went downstairs the "candle" turned into incense. RIGHT. After I burst into tears and walked all the way home the eldest of the two said, "Well, if she's going to get in my face about it, I'll just go back to Robert's (abusive biological father figure)!" Of course he was talking about mom then, but he was all like, "What does she care if I smoke!?" HELLO!!! Smoking is DEADLY and STUPID! Had the government known early on the hazzards of smoking cigarettes it would be illegal and dealt out on the streets like marajuana or something... In fact, who gives a crap about "If" anyways. 14 and 15 year olds who have no business smoking in the first place, smoke for only ONE reason, because they think it makes them look cool. Look older. Look more mature. Because their friends do it and they look older and more cool than the rest of the non-smoking squares in the world. Well you know what? F**K that! That's BULLS**T! Smoking is one of the dumbest things a person can do in this day and age, ESPECIALLY after hearing DAILY the risks and side effects of it. All through school I was around kids that smoked and thought they looked SO cool. Offered me smokes and I would always say "No." Such a simple word that some find so difficult to utter when they think they'll be uncool in the eyes of their pals... I wasn't afraid of it. I never sucuumbed to that kind of peer pressure because I saw what it did to the feeble-minded. Leave it to my brothers to get sucked into the scene. When will they get it? The choices that they make don't only effect them. There's a whole chain of people effected by one teenie tiny choice. I could have given a crap what kids thought of me because I didn't smoke, I didn't drink, I didn't do drugs, I didn't have unprotected pre-teen pre-marital sex. What did I care what the chain-smoking, alcoholic druggie adolescent nymphos thought of little ole' me... WHY? Because while they were out doing all of that mindless crap, I had the privilage of being "WEIRD." I was by no stretch of the imagination anything close to "normal" and I loved every minute of it! In my elementary I was the fastest runner in gym. In my high school I was one of the few, but proud, students that wasn't addicted to something or another and a. wasn't pregnant and b. didn't have an STD by the ripe old age of 15. Some dared to call me Miss Goody two-shoes and it was ME that got the laugh because while they sat like zombies stinking of tobacco, eyes dialated and crusty drool coming out of the corners of their mouths from brain cells long since annhialated, I sat and I paid attention from time to time. Showed up to classes from time to time. Had a plan for my life that WASN'T being a stoner. A plan that didn't include me as a middle-aged single barhopper/ex-prostitute with ashes two inches long on the ever-present cigarette butt hanging from thin wrinkled lips and tar-stained teeth. No. That was never my plan. So, while my brothers are off planning to drop out of high school and become teenage statistics, the boys mom's warn their daughters about, here I sit. Who the f**k cares??? Not a d**n body, that's who. Because here I thought I maybe got the honor of setting a precedent for my impressionable brothers whom I could not save the one day that they probably needed saving from their big sister and it was all for nothing. Well, there's still hope, with my son, but for now it feels like all of my effort fell upon blind eyes and deaf ears. *SCREAMS*
And to think, all I wanted this morning when I woke up was to dye my hair fire-engine red and eat some god-danged breakfast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!