January 1st - What's in a name
I've seen a lot of "end-of-year" posts cropping up lately. This is not one of them. Instead, I'm going to rant on why I'm not doing one.
January 1st is the first day in one calendar system. It is not a mystical day that heralds the start of anything except the need to change the Gregorian calendar in my kitchen. For some reason, this has become a day to reflect on the past year and make promises for the future that we have failed to meet in the past. And, by overreaching, most people set themselves up to fail again.
But why do we do this exercise every year? Why, after the "joyous" Christmas season of stress, do we then decide it is a good time to now reflect on the year? Why not do it in the summer, when the days are long and we are not suffering from seasonal affective disorder and too many desserts?
I think that the Jewish concept of the new year is a good one. They not only reflect on the old year, but are supposed to right any wrongs they made with the people they made them against. No wallowing or hand-wringing. You are supposed to just get up and correct things. And then, when the new year starts, the book is closed. Time to move on. Now, i'll tell you from experience that it isn't anywhere near this clean. I mean, guilt and Judaism go together like, well, guilt and pretty much any Judeo-Christian religion. But I like the ideal. Analyze, correct, move on.
But why do this on the first of the year? Why not do it as a regular process? Why do we store up everything for a whole year, and then try to deal with everything at once. What would happen if you didn't work for a whole year, and then tried to do everything on the last day? That doesn't make much sense. Yet me pile all of our "resolutions" onto January 1st, and somehow expect them to take. And that is a bad idea.
So I think my new proposal to replace this "end of year" ritual would be some combination of:
-Spend some time thinking what you would have done differently in the past period
-If you can correct or need to apologize for any of those things by taking immediate action, do so.
-See if you are where you wanted to be. If not, make a list of the daily/weekly tasks you need to move you forward and the end goals, and most importantly why
-Throw away everything but the list. The period is closed. No guilt, no "should haves", no looking back in remorse.
-Pick an end date for the next period. Whatever works for you. One week, 30 days. Roll percentile dice and pick that many days.
-Live your life, and use the list to help you remember why you need to do some things. Repeat until end of period
-Start again
My point, after much rambling, is this. I always come in to the "New Year" thinking about the lost opportunities of the last year. And that makes me depressed, and I put my hope into massive changes for the future. But that does not work. Instead, I need smaller chunks. I need to have some point to doing things. I need to get over the past. And I do better with small steps than I do with huge goals. And, for me, the whole "New Year" thing is everything I don't need.
That said, party at my place!
January 1st is the first day in one calendar system. It is not a mystical day that heralds the start of anything except the need to change the Gregorian calendar in my kitchen. For some reason, this has become a day to reflect on the past year and make promises for the future that we have failed to meet in the past. And, by overreaching, most people set themselves up to fail again.
But why do we do this exercise every year? Why, after the "joyous" Christmas season of stress, do we then decide it is a good time to now reflect on the year? Why not do it in the summer, when the days are long and we are not suffering from seasonal affective disorder and too many desserts?
I think that the Jewish concept of the new year is a good one. They not only reflect on the old year, but are supposed to right any wrongs they made with the people they made them against. No wallowing or hand-wringing. You are supposed to just get up and correct things. And then, when the new year starts, the book is closed. Time to move on. Now, i'll tell you from experience that it isn't anywhere near this clean. I mean, guilt and Judaism go together like, well, guilt and pretty much any Judeo-Christian religion. But I like the ideal. Analyze, correct, move on.
But why do this on the first of the year? Why not do it as a regular process? Why do we store up everything for a whole year, and then try to deal with everything at once. What would happen if you didn't work for a whole year, and then tried to do everything on the last day? That doesn't make much sense. Yet me pile all of our "resolutions" onto January 1st, and somehow expect them to take. And that is a bad idea.
So I think my new proposal to replace this "end of year" ritual would be some combination of:
-Spend some time thinking what you would have done differently in the past period
-If you can correct or need to apologize for any of those things by taking immediate action, do so.
-See if you are where you wanted to be. If not, make a list of the daily/weekly tasks you need to move you forward and the end goals, and most importantly why
-Throw away everything but the list. The period is closed. No guilt, no "should haves", no looking back in remorse.
-Pick an end date for the next period. Whatever works for you. One week, 30 days. Roll percentile dice and pick that many days.
-Live your life, and use the list to help you remember why you need to do some things. Repeat until end of period
-Start again
My point, after much rambling, is this. I always come in to the "New Year" thinking about the lost opportunities of the last year. And that makes me depressed, and I put my hope into massive changes for the future. But that does not work. Instead, I need smaller chunks. I need to have some point to doing things. I need to get over the past. And I do better with small steps than I do with huge goals. And, for me, the whole "New Year" thing is everything I don't need.
That said, party at my place!