Open.
Who: Various. (Arthur, Merlin, Remus, possibly Lust, Shirley, Tonks, whoever else wants a thread...)
Where: The Clinic.
When: Whenever it needs to be? For the Bellatrix plot?
What: Arthur gets a worrying glimpse of bespelled Lupin and, completely undermining the intention of his original message, drags Merlin off to act as deus ex machina and fix ( Read more... )
Where: The Clinic.
When: Whenever it needs to be? For the Bellatrix plot?
What: Arthur gets a worrying glimpse of bespelled Lupin and, completely undermining the intention of his original message, drags Merlin off to act as deus ex machina and fix ( Read more... )
He didn't even know what was to be told yet, but the words were in his mind: Why didn't you tell me.
But so were the words: Of course it's only fair.
Even he couldn't really feel guilty about this, try to imagine his secrecy had caused this. Ridiculous. Nor could he take the credit of imagining he'd provoked. Possibly forced her hand-the look in her eyes, the sense of the spellcasting, the fact she'd done it, like that, to him… He could hardly conceive of anything intelligible but he had a fair sense of what may have happened, have been going on. Even then, he couldn't grate at being kept out of it. He could only move forward and ache.
Strange he wasn't worried about the possibility of Tonks being dead. …He could feel, somehow, that she wasn't. Remarkable in itself. No, it was something else he was waiting to find out. What had been done.
Maybe he was following her signature. Maybe he was following probabilities. Maybe following his gut. Maybe there's no difference. He was in too much of a tunnel-vision-fog to quite tell. No room for thought: only for the action that would lead to the next. No matter what the case, he had nearly reached Tonks's teenaged "fort".]
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Then she had found Merlin outside. That had changed things. She's not ready for who else might be inside the Clinic.
No, she would not return there. So, Tonks returns to her fort. It is the only place she has.
She has her wand out to undo some of the wards when she can sense another presence approach her.
She turns her head in that direction. ]
Who's there?
[ Her voice is soft, as if the words drain her further. ]
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They always run away, usually in horror and usually very fast, when I tell them I fancy them; why aren't you?
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[ There is a bit of pause between words. ]
Yeah. They do. Or they did. You didn't.
[ Tonks lets out a breath. She wants to rest. ]
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I don't even want you to apologise for paralysing me, if you were going to, which I sense you weren't. I don't want you to apologise for keeping me out of whatever plans you had.
I just want to be in it with you. Whatever it is. Whatever's happened, whatever may happen next. I want to know so I'm never trying to stop you, never hindering you, but can help, even by staying clear and listening after; to share in everything with you.
If you want to stop me from doing anything crazy again, that's the only way. Because as crazy as you think you may be at times, you're also often right, and honest, and you make me better too.
Now tell me everything. And if there's anything you need me to do.
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She is going to tell him everything. In the meantime... ]
Can we sit down first? I'd feel better if one of us, preferably me, was sitting.
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I didn't do it. I didn't murder her.
[ There is a great weight lifted from her shoulders when she makes her confession but she doesn't look at him just yet. Instead, Tonks finishes with the wards on her fort and enters. She hopes Remus follows her.
Once inside, Tonks removes the flowing black cloak and black gloves. She throws them onto a chair before running her hands through her very dark auburn colored hair. The rest of her clothing is simple, a black tunic and trousers.
She sits down on a sofa built for two that is a garish shade of green. Tonks folds her hands in her lap and looks down at the ground. There are thousands of thoughts floating in her mind at present. ]
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Inside, as Tonks de-cloaks, Lupin resets a few wards, just in case, then casts Lumos and sticks his wand like a candle atop the nearest piece of furniture.
He waits until she sits, then sits carefully beside her.]
What happened?
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She draws her knees up to her chest and holds them in her arms. Where does she begin? ]
A couple of weeks ago I found out that my metamorphfic abilities had increased. The Door showed me an image of You-Know-Who. I didn't mean for it to happen but I sudden found myself looking and sounding exactly like him. I've never seen him before Remus but there he was and there I was.
[ Tonks starts at the beginning. It had been difficult to start but once she started, the words just tumbled out of her mouth. ]
That was it, I thought. I knew how to lure out Bellatrix so I spent hours each day practicing. Then Freya appeared on the forge and I knew this was it, I had to move so I got everything ready.
I told myself it was an execution. Bellatrix deserved it but I wanted her to suffer. I wanted her to know that her time was running out. I decided to bury her. I didn't know which was going to kill her first, starvation or dehydration. I've heard those are painful ways to go. Suffocation seemed too quick for her.
I really wanted her to suffer a bit...
[ Her voice trails off. Tonks rests her chin on her knees. ]
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Freya. What'll become of-
The eternal flashback to a ravendark hillside
I've done to her too-
All that will wait. For now, she needs to tell him the rest, for her sake more than his; but a nod or "go on" isn't enough; he draws her gently back with,]
On the list of morphs you never need to show me…
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When she came out to the Ruins, I didn't reveal it was me at first. I made her think she'd failed You-Know-Who. I thought it was fitting. She even cried but then when I was about to do it, there was something in her eyes.
It wasn't mercy that made me stop. I don't even think it was compassion from me. I think I saw a bit of pride there.
Can you imagine?
[ She turns to look at him. ]
If I had gone through with it she would've been proud of me. I think that's what made me lower my wand. I don't want that woman proud of anything that I've done.
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That's the real fight. Exactly that.
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She would've won...
[ Tonks closes her eyes for a moment. ]
I couldn't leave her there. You know that. She's too dangerous. Her rage alone at being tricked....
[ She isn't worried about what Bellatrix would do to her. Tonks has been down that road. No, Bellatrix would've taken her rage out on innocents. ]
I had the thought if maybe I took enough of her memories away, maybe if I went far enough back, there might be something there that's not completely awful. I obliviated her and took her wand. I was going to go back to the Clinic, to see you but I ran into Merlin outside. He said Arthur was with you. I didn't want to talk to him.
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He still wants to tell her about the battle at the hill, but suddenly thinks this might be more urgent-]
Where is she now?
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[ It really had not been mercy that had stayed her hand. If it had, Tonks would not have left Bellatrix in the Ruins that close to the Mist. ]
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