21 [ broadcast mind ]
I love you.
They’re only three little words, but every time you say them, something bad happens. If there’s a power in those words, it isn’t a power you ever wanted. Through those words, you damn them.
I love you, mommy.
You said those words, and she was gone.
I love you, daddy.
You said it again, and he was taken away.
And so when you’re taken in by extended family, you make it a point to never say them again. You don’t want to lose anyone else to the power behind the words.
Instead, you do your best to show it through action. Helping around the house, around the bar. Staying out of sight when necessary, listening when it was important you do so, putting everything of yourself into your studies as a thank you for your second chance at life. You say the words by trying your hardest to do the right thing.
You study alchemy because it’s one of the few things that really interests you, but it’s also a way of saying those words, those forbidden words that will snatch away what you hold dear. And so you study hard... but studying isn’t enough.
People are still dying. Still suffering. Even though you want to help, your studies won’t allow it.
And so you run away. Give the only thing you have -your life- over to the country itself. To the people who need it more than you do. To the people you’ve never met, but deserve better than to suffer needlessly.
But it’s still not enough.
Even after you return to study, even after you’re granted access to that which could destroy everything in a burst of flame, there’s still something missing.
You push through the ranks, climbing higher... and then you make a mistake. You let someone in.
He’s your best friend, someone very much loved by his family and his friends. By you.
And even though you never say the words, they’re still there, unspoken and silent. They prove they still have power without a voice. They claim him as well.
You can’t afford it anymore. Those words are expensive in the price they exact. So you close yourself off. Show concern for others while the anger eats away at you. Protect others while seeking ways to exact revenge.
But the anger can’t last forever. The hatred burns out eventually. She makes it burn out, but the bonds forged with others are still there. They haven’t burnt out and they haven’t gone away. You can’t afford them, but you can’t afford to not have them.
The mist comes, life continues, bonds are stretched by space and time... but some remain strong.
One is stronger than ever before, forged in fire, branded upon your skin, carved into your heart.
I love you, Riza.
The words are out, given a voice. Not once, not twice, but repeatedly, and they can’t be taken back. Just like before, you’ve doomed her. After everything she’s done for you, you’ve doomed her.
Condemned her.
Killed her.
And now all you can do is wait for the inevitable.