17. Text. IDEK...
Issue #1
Dear Buffy,
There's a boy I kind of like and I'm pretty sure I can do a spell to freeze some snow. I think he might find it pretty cool, (haha get it) but my magic is hit or miss and I don't want to blink myself out of existence again.
Which would be a miss.
What would you do? (He's kind of broody and has nice abs if that helps?)
Also, I don't think he knows I exist really, but he did seem impressed that I lifted Sebastian in the air.
PS: This is totally not your sister.
Or anyone you know. Or even know of.
I live way out in the ruins.
Q: When it comes to the questions of love and uh, love, doing something that would blink you out of existence is basically an epic level of "defeats the purpose." Think about it: Let's say you decide to woo the perfect boy (when you're 35 years old, and not before). You pick out the best gift, you put it in the best wrapping paper, and you send it on over, and he falls madly in love with you. Violins and flapping wings. You know how it is. Except, oh no!... by the time he gets to you? You're completely nonexistent.
That's what you call a missed opportunity. So definitely go with things that don't turn you into, say, a ball of energy. Pink energy. Which is the appropriate energy color for non-sisters to turn into, if they were to turn into energy, which they shouldn't do.
When it comes to broody guys, which I know nothing about wooing at all, my recommendation is this: poetry. You could also just try going up to him and being like, "Hey, I know we don't know each other well, but I'm digging your good-abs and your broody flair. There are things you like, and things I like, so maybe we can find a mutually likable thing and then go do it." Unless they're evil broody guys, in which case my recommendation is "find a different guy to crush on."
In about 20 years.
☀ ☀ ☀
Dear Buffy,
I have a problem that is quite embarrassing. Whenever I am around a particular person, my cardiovascular system malfunctions. I do not think it is normal for one's face to overheat spontaneously, but I cannot seem to keep it from happening, and the harder I try to stop it, the worse it becomes. She is pretty, and very intelligent, but I know other people who are attractive and smart, and they do not make my heart beat too quickly. What is wrong with me, and how can I feel normal again around my friend?
Signed,
Confused in Anatole
A: Your cardiowhatscular system?
Look, CiA. Sounds to me like you've got yourself a crush. And judging from the way you're describing that, I'm guessing your first thought is "what, no one's stepped on me or dropped a piano on me or whatever," so let's take this down to the basic level:
Crush
1. a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special.
2. a precursor to love
3. an amazing thing that gives you feelings of nerves and excitement whenever you see them
4. also, a yummy soda.
So basically, you're right there with someone who I DON'T KNOW, WHO IS LIVING IN THE RUINS, i.e. romantic interest and no idea what to do with it. So I'm going to back up my suggestion from before, which was totally prior and also completely excellent:
TELL THE GIRL!
Be like, "Hey girl (and here use her name instead of "girl," some people don't like that, and getting punched? So not a good opener), I am feeling the crush, let us share food and perhaps go dancing." Unless you're a bad dancer. Then swap that for something that's not embarrassing. You want to make a good impression, so be smooth - and if you have fur then let it be known that I mean smooth in the personality sense, not smooth in the freshly-brushed sense. Which also does not imply that you can turn up for the asking on a bad hair day because that totally matters.
Oh, make sure she's not married or anything, that'd be bad.
AND FOR ALL YOU FORLORN LOVERS OUT THERE - if they say no, it's not going to kill you, so go ahead and ask. It's good for you.
As always, questions can be dropped here. Also, if you have a heavy issue, maybe come in and do the big talk thing.