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onetoignite in scorched

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Apr 17, 2010 23:18

Guess I'm not the only one noticing the time here. Of course, it's been almost a whole bloody year since I last saw earth, so I can't say I'm feeling too melancholy about it. That place was kind of a shithole by the time I left anyway ( Read more... )

!mail "matt" jeevas, jennifer check, namine, mihael "mello" keehl, scar, sasori

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wellsuited April 18 2010, 05:18:16 UTC

You know, I could probably find an audience for that sort of thing.

onetoignite April 18 2010, 06:23:07 UTC

That wasn't a pitch, El.

wellsuited April 18 2010, 16:27:45 UTC

Everything's a pitch.

[Private]

Hey...how would you like all the cigarettes you can smoke?

onetoignite April 19 2010, 02:53:00 UTC

I should have seen that one coming.

[Private]

All the cigarettes?

What's the catch?

Private wellsuited April 19 2010, 03:09:06 UTC

There is no catch. You help me with something, and you'll never be without cigarettes as long as I'm here.

All you have to do in return is...coach me.

Private onetoignite April 19 2010, 03:37:50 UTC

Well, that sounds like a pretty good offer on your end.

So what do I need to coach for?

Private - this is the exact moment that we're going to hell. wellsuited April 19 2010, 03:50:40 UTC

Well...let's see.

Oh! I know! Fellatio. That's a good place to start, right?

Private - DON'T TELL MELLO also, 1/2 onetoignite April 19 2010, 03:53:44 UTC

Private - sob onetoignite April 19 2010, 03:54:24 UTC

It usually is, yeah.

I really hope you're not asking me to do what it looks like you're asking, though.

Private - ....my lips are sealed. wellsuited April 19 2010, 04:00:35 UTC

That's just it. What am I asking you to do? And would it help me win Itachi over?

Private - ...i'm not even touching that one onetoignite April 19 2010, 04:08:32 UTC

All right, let's just start with your second question.

Yes.

Look, I know I said I thought you were cute, but I'm not giving you any coaching on... you don't know what that is, do you?

Am I getting cigarettes for this?

Private - B) wellsuited April 19 2010, 04:18:15 UTC

Why do you think I'm asking?

And yes, you're on the clock!

Private - YOU ARE TERRIBLE onetoignite April 20 2010, 01:46:43 UTC

Oh, well, why didn't you say so.

Can't I just get you a sex ed book or something? I mean, if you don't know that how am I supposed to know where to start? You do know what a dick is, don't you?

Private - DON'T ACT SURPRISED. wellsuited April 20 2010, 01:50:54 UTC

[Silence.

A long

long

silence.]

Private wellsuited April 20 2010, 01:51:21 UTC

I'll take the book!

Private - GASP AND SHOCK onetoignite April 20 2010, 02:01:07 UTC

Thank God.

I guess I'll round up some pamphlets for you or something, if you need it that much. Christ, no wonder you don't have a boyfriend yet.

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