Who:
lumenrelegandus and anyone
When: Early in the week
Where: The dojo, the streets, the path toward the Ruins and/or Hunting Grounds.
Format: Prose
What: As if any loss weren't bad on its own, sometimes it opens up past ones.
Warnings: I'm being bad for posting a new log without doing any tags for ongoing threads! I have company for a few days and am semi-
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"I've rarely felt I belonged anywhere. I get along better here than many places I've been… but to what purpose?"
An adolescent feeling, he thinks, but unshakable.
"I believe that one thing happens after another because of a culmination of factors that are largely uncontrollable, unforeseeable, and unseen. We must act with purpose in the hopes of influencing causality with the nuance of our intentions, but it doesn't mean there is a larger plan.
"Except that we were brought here. Brought. Even if on a whim, there is agency in that.
"And we are sent away."
He dug a few fingers into his hair, and removed them again to look out.
"I accepted an unhelmed reality, where the highest powers do what they will because they have absolutely no interest-or even awareness-of those below. There is no reason to suspect that forces on such wholly different levels of scale should have anything resembling the same ways of thinking.
"There's a directness here, where superior powers play with smaller ones with no greater caring but with the semblance of localised awareness and intent. It's at every level of sentience in this place.
"The last time I encountered that, I went to war against it."
Sounding exhausted, "But I don't want war."
He stops against a likely place to lean and looks at the sky before coming back to her. "I wonder if any of that makes sense."
Without cruelty, the layers of saying that to her aren't lost on him.
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"What about purpose?"
River doesn't enjoy people playing games where she can't see them either, which is why she doesn't want to buy what religion is selling. Yet the way everything unfolds here-
"If it's not the law of large numbers then it's ineffability." If it takes people for a reason, could they place their own judgement values and fight for those without looking microscopic? "Fighting it could just be like a white rat in a maze. Sometimes that's what they want you to do. Doing nothing could be the anarchy. But I don't think that would be allowed. Something bad will happen sooner or later." They watch us, she wants to say. They know all of our names. Casually, she takes in the world through he peripheral vision, reaching out, shivering a little.
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"They?"
Though the Twins flashed instantly in his mind, a deeper, more resounding thought reverberated beyond rationality: Veneficus
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"Plural, non-gendered, non-specific. There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio."
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