[open] Time it is past and I roam free
Who: lumenrelegandus and anyone
When: Early in the week
Where: The dojo, the streets, the path toward the Ruins and/or Hunting Grounds.
Format: Prose
What: As if any loss weren't bad on its own, sometimes it opens up past ones.
Warnings: I'm being bad for posting a new log without doing any tags for ongoing threads! I have company for a few days and am semi- ( Read more... )
When: Early in the week
Where: The dojo, the streets, the path toward the Ruins and/or Hunting Grounds.
Format: Prose
What: As if any loss weren't bad on its own, sometimes it opens up past ones.
Warnings: I'm being bad for posting a new log without doing any tags for ongoing threads! I have company for a few days and am semi- ( Read more... )
When he'd arrived in Anatole, literally half dead, he'd needed the anchor that Io had provided: a reminder, a guide, a tow-line back toward life. He'd been woken by (Bellatrix) hate and running on enraged, insane magicks, which had made him more animated than he'd have been on his own residual lifeforce or will; the magic could have burned up what was left of him and taken on a life of its own-(as was his guess of what had happened to the veneficus of Anatole). Who knows what he would have become-an inferi at least-if Io, a complete stranger, hadn't caught him and hung on, unwittingly poured life into him until he came back to himself and took charge of his body again.
He knew-as he had not known in Anatole for a very long time-he was, in fact, alive. Only the living feel such hollowness. The dead have no contrast to make it noticeable.
The tether Hermione was throwing him now was back from the emptiness. A reminder that alive and living are different; and that life, however much of it was taken away, did persist.
"Harry would be furious at me," he said, almost unintelligibly into her shoulder; before he pulled back and his words hit the air unimpeded, "-for keeping secrets."
His fingertips met her shoulder, part to check the fabric of her sleeve for dampness, part to push her gently upright. He sat back and raised his eyes to her, looking tired.
"You must know by now… even those who come here from the same world sometimes come from different points in their shared timelines. You've never asked… I appreciated how you never asked… from what point in our story I came here from. But I'm not sure it's my right to tell you… because I'm still hoping you'll go back to live it for yourself. And if what I know still further on is true… then even the worse parts shouldn't be changed."
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"Remus...?" she murmured, her eyes filled with concern when he pulled back, "...what secrets?"
Everyone was entitled to secrets, of course, but Remus wouldn't have brought it up if the information hadn't been pertinent. So Hermione stepped back and waved his hand away with little smile. A damp shirt wasn't going to hurt her.
As he spoke, she visibly mulled over his words. Finally, she knelt down on the ground beside him and grabbed one of his hands.
"Whether you choose to tell me or not is entirely up to you. I don't want to pry." but, "There is no guarantee that I will remember what happened here. In fact, I doubt I will. Otherwise this world would have a lot more problems than it already does."
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He was never going to resolve this for himself with logic, because it required knowledge of the unknowable.
What he did know was her, and the present. To those, he surrendered.
Returning her grasp with one hand, he reached with the other into his jacket pocket.
"In your future on earth, in the war, in a battle at Hogwarts," he said it blandly, "I will die. And Tonks will die. I am not going back. I didn't think I'd ever know the outcome of the war. But here in Anatole, I made a wish, to know whether you and Ron and Harry survived. I received this. I don't know if I have the right to show it to you or the right to withhold it. But I can't... we've lost enough, and it's yours."
He pulled out the moving photograph of their adult selves with their children, and handed it to her.
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"Remus..." her blood ran cold at those words, "N-No." her voice trembled and tears pricked at her eyes, "H-How does it happen?"
More importantly, was it preventable? Hermione didn't want to face a world that lacked Remus and Tonks. They were...so good and so strong. Her stomach churned at the thought of telling Harry that...
No! We have options.
"Hm?" her hand shook as she took the photo. Wiping at her cheeks, she stared in wonder at herself, Ron, Harry, Ginny and...
Kids.
"I c-can't believe it." she smiled sadly, not bothering to hide her tears, "L-Look at them..."
Her joy was short-lived, however, as she remembered that Remus would not be there to -
"We'll save you and Tonks. Somehow." she squeezed his hand, "You n-need to see them born."
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"No," he repeated, his chin now resting lightly on top of her head. "Nothing can interfere with this future. Whatever you, Harry, and Ron did was exactly what you needed to do. It ended the war. It made a world where this-" nodded again, uselessly because she couldn't see it, but clearly at the photo nonetheless "-could happen. Your mission will always be stopping Voldemort and ending the war. I know you wouldn't let anything-anything-distract you from it. In either world, I wouldn't want you to."
A faint smile into her hair. "I wish I could see them too. But I'd rather miss seeing them born and know that they will be."
He held onto her a moment longer. Then added Moonyishly, "I admit I expected a stronger reaction to other aspects of this revelation."
(And one might think he would have asked this Anatolian oracle after someone else…)
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"W-We love you." she choked. He had to know that. That...was the most important thing. Even if they fought, even if they got mad at each other, that never changed.
"He will die. Harry is determined and so am I." she clenched her fists, "We are w-well on our way." she was fibbing a little, but they had made headway, "There might be a way we can still save you and Tonks. I just...I don't know." she glanced at his chest sadly, "They will know all about you regardless."
That was a promise she could keep.
His last comment caused her to pull back and blink awkwardly. She blushed a little and shook her head.
"Ron and I... It's complicated. I feel like I'm always angry at him, but...he's a good person and...I l-love him." Hermione dropped her head forward, "It's ridiculous."
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-Not to say anything further except whisper back, more easily than he'd thought possible since Tonks's death, "I love all of you, too."
She pulled away and he resettled himself to accommodate, smiling and averting his eyes as she blushed. "I apologise, I didn't mean to pry. And certainly not to poke fun. It's not ridiculous one bit."
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