my muse is a funny thing
Title: Glitter & Gloss
Pairing: NaKame
Word Count: 3.1k
Rating: PG
A/N: An AU inadvertently inspired from Joker Game… ps. it’s not what you think ahahahaa
Summary: Nakamaru gets a surprise present from Ueda that surprises Ueda himself.
When Ueda said he had a surprised lined up for him for his birthday, Nakamaru had fretted inside but thought the worst he would get was a beer shower and maybe a cake in the face. A short humiliation that was all in the name of fun and making Nakamaru stronger somehow, or so Ueda told him with a wicked grin.
Now Nakamaru didn't believe him but he gave the nod because Ueda was his good friend and he had agreed to help clean up his place after the birthday bash Ueda was so insistent on throwing.
The giant, triple tier cake rolling into his apartment mid-way through the party was a comfort. So he would have his face shoved into the massive tower of pink and white icing and Ueda's surprise would be over, Nakamaru thought, and then he could continue on with his life as a newly turned thirty year old.
He was about to lick at a pink, frosted rose when the cake blew up in his face, icing splattering like thick, sweet snow.
Nakamaru found himself shrieking and jumping back with the rest of the guests-louder and higher than them all-and when he finally got enough control of his limbs to look up-he blinked.
Blinked again when there was still a shirtless man standing in his birthday cake.
"Are you the birthday boy?" the man asked and when Nakamaru nodded numbly, he gave a sweet smile. "I think we overdid it with the icing this time around. You've got some on your nose."
Before Nakamaru could even think, the man leaned forward and licked a tuft of icing straight off his nose.
"Happy birthday."
Nakamaru found himself shrieking and jumping back again.
~
"To be fair," Ueda said, once he had finished pounding his fist on Nakamaru's kitchen counter from the hilarity of it all; it had taken quite some time for the guffaws to die down, "I didn't expect that either."
"You called him. You snuck him into my apartment," Nakamaru hissed, quickly shooting a glance over his shoulder to make sure he wasn't being overheard.
"I thought he would be a she!" Ueda's face scrunched with disappointment. "I was hoping to give you boobs. You would have liked that. We both would have liked that. How was I supposed to know the D-Agency would send a guy over."
Nakamaru squinted. He figured it was all in the name, really, but he let it go because Ueda looked truly repentant. Despite the occasional snickering at Nakamaru's expense.
"You're not leaving until you get all that icing out of my carpet."
Ueda sighed heavily but didn't try to barter out of it. He looked past the kitchen doorway and into the living room and winced. "Shouldn't you get him some pants at least? I mean, if you're going to let him stay then-"
"He's not staying," Nakamaru said firmly, his voice going all high and pitchy the way it did whenever he sensed danger.
Despite telling himself otherwise, he turned to follow Ueda's gaze and saw Kato Jiro-the stripper had a name and Nakamaru was only slightly bemused that it wasn't something gaudy like The Conda-mingling with the party-goers easily, like he wasn't extremely under-dressed in only a pair of tight black boxer briefs and matching white cuffs at his wrists. He drank in the appreciative looks-accompanied by hands tucking dollar bills into the waistband of his briefs-and returned them with a flirtatious quip and Nakamaru had to admit that Kato would be a looker even in a turtle neck.
Not that his body was anything to hide-
"I'll tell him to leave," Nakamaru said abruptly and moved to do just that.
He was a couple feet away when Kato somehow sensed him and turned to give him a disarming smile, locks of his permed brown hair falling over one eye. He moved forwards and Nakamaru floundered, stepping back until they were in a semi-private corner of his living room. The family portrait he had taken with his parents hung on the wall just next to them and Nakamaru wondered what his parents would think if they knew he had stripper in his apartment. A shirtless and all too male one at that.
He tried not to think about it and focused on Kato instead, only the bare chest with its wide shoulders and small, pebble-like nipples made that difficult too.
"Are... you enjoying the party?" Nakamaru tried, hoping that Kato would say that it was a boring and that Nakamaru's college buddies weren't paying enough and that the conversation would naturally dissolve into goodbyes and good lucks.
Kato just gave him another curling smile, lips pink and... Nakamaru squinted, glossy.
"It's fun. Different. Not the kind of shindig I expected, but not in a bad way."
Nakamaru laughed all breathy and fake in a way that made him cringe inside. "Believe me, I was in for a surprise myself."
Kato's laugh sounded more alive, the curve of his neck trembling along with his glossy lips. "I noticed. I haven't made someone jump like that in a while," a tilt of his head and a melting grin, "I'll take it as a compliment."
Nakamaru rubbed at his nose and looked at the boring navy blue of his curtains with heat creeping up his neck. "Sure."
"I'm guessing there was a mix up and you were hoping for someone of the opposite sex, huh? Your friend looked apologetic... once he finished laughing." When Nakamaru turned back to him, anxious that he had offended, Kato gave him an easy shrug. Nakamaru noted the way his muscles rippled under the pale skin. He wasn't too beefy, just nicely toned here and there-everywhere, really-and oddly... curvy.
"It's okay, it happens," Kato continued and it took Nakamaru a moment to realise that he wasn't referring to a sudden attraction to male strippers. "At least this wasn't planned as a prank; those gigs can get really uncomfortable. I know it's not much but, if you want, I get requests for the feminine look all the time and a ponytail and some lipstick can go a long way. I even have some wigs in the trunk..."
Nakamaru stared, his tongue limp in his mouth as he tried to both imagine and not imagine.
"That was a joke by the way," Kato said at last, throwing back his head and bringing his hands together in sporadic claps as if Nakamaru was the entertainer between them. When he calmed, he tucked his hair behind his ear so that Nakamaru could see both his eyes for the first time. "I get why your friend wanted to do this for you. I'm just sad that it didn't work out. I hope I didn't spoil your birthday too much though; you seem like a pretty nice guy. Most of them throw fits-and fists," Kato winced, "when they're not expecting it."
"That's-" Nakamaru frowned. Kato was lightly muscled but he was small over all, a few inches shorter so that Nakamaru had to bend his neck a little to meet his eyes. Nakamaru wondered how many punches he had taken and hoped at least that Kato had given just as much damage back. "I wouldn't do that."
"I figured. Thanks for letting me linger for so long anyway," Kato said with an impish smile. "You've got great company... and great central heating."
Nakamaru straightened, sensing the oncoming see you later although they both knew there would never be one.
"I've got great food too," Nakamaru blurted and then amended, "well, pizza really but you can't go wrong with that and academia doesn't pay so well... so... If you'd like... I can get you a slice? Or two? And some pants."
He could tell the invite threw Kato off from the way he froze, derailed from his so long speech. He looked at Nakamaru funny, like he hadn't seen him before even though they had been sequestered in a corner together for a good couple minutes now.
At last, he broke into a smile that was almost shy. "Well, if the birthday boy insists..."
When he led Kato to his bedroom-to find a pair of fitting sweats and nothing more-he passed Ueda who gave him a wide-eyed 'I knew it look' and Nakamaru snapped shut up before he could say anything about it.
~
The sweat pants were baggy around Kato's slim waist, slipping over hipbones to show the brim of his briefs in a way that would distract Nakamaru in odd moments. Like when he was walking through the living room to lower the volume of the music and ended up tripping over the edge of the carpet and his own feet. Or when he was refilling the chips bowl and ended up scattering Cheetos across the table.
"You're a very dedicated host," Kato noted as they brought in dirty dishware into the kitchen; Nakamaru had refuse the help but Kato had insisted. "The chips bowl wasn't even half empty yet."
"I figure if I keep them busy with food, they'll be too busy to wreak havoc in my apartment."
"Ah, so there's an ulterior motive behind the kindness." Nakamaru turned from the sink to see Kato twinkling at him. "Joking."
Nakamaru had given him a red flannel shirt to borrow so that he wouldn't have to roam around bare-chested and while the shirt stretched over his shoulders and arms, the sleeves hanging over his hands, Kato still looked... cosy. Like he had a place in Nakamaru's apartment from the ease with which he opened the fridge and uncapped a bottle of water. It was a crazy thought. Completely uncalled for and ridiculous.
"So what's it like?" Nakamaru asked and when Kato tilted his head, he expanded. "I mean, what's it like in your… profession? How do you like it?"
Nakamaru was an academic. A researcher. Curiosity was healthy, he told himself.
"My profession, huh, well isn't that sweet of you," Kato gave him one of his glowing smiles-it had only been some odd hours and Nakamaru had already identified and tagged the man's expressions individually; this one was a favourite. "Do you mind?" Kato asked briefly, gesturing at the counter top and when Nakamaru shook his head, he jumped on to it.
He swung his bare feet as he spoke and Nakamaru spotted that they were not only painted but glittery to boot.
"It's pretty easy for the most part and with most people it's fun. I didn't get to show much of my moves this time but I admit I have a knack for it. The trick is to not show too much at once; you have to hold on to your ace for the climax, build up the suspense and all," Nakamaru didn't ask what the ace was; figured he'd turn a permanent shade of red if he did. Neither did he ask how showing up in nothing but underpants and cuffs equated to not showing too much at once.
In the back of his mind, Nakamaru was all too aware that he was receiving advice from a stripper in his kitchen on is thirtieth birthday. It had to be fate.
"You like it then?" Nakamaru asked. Despite the assholes.
Kato rolled his head back and talked to the ceiling, his voice rough and soft like it was sanded down. "I guess I do. The attention is amazing. It's heady to have all these people-these strangers who don't even know me-wanting me." Nakamaru flushed despite himself, glad that Kato had his gaze pinned elsewhere. "It can feel powerful but then... Sometimes I'll meet people who want too much."
Nakamaru cleared his throat self-consciously. "Like, you mean, people wanting a relationship?"
Kato snorted and rolled his head back down so that he was looking at Nakamaru through fluffy bangs.
"Sure, if you want to call a one-off romp in the bed a relationship."
"Oh," Nakamaru said and Kato gifted him a small smile.
"You're too nice you know. It's like you're from a different planet. I like that."
"Thanks," Nakamaru said, embarrassed, his flitting gaze landing on Kato's splayed fingers on the counter top. They were short and rough, the fingernails unpainted. It was a strange contrast to the rest of him that was made to glitter and shine for the lusty eyes of the public. Of all the parts that made Kato, his hands looked the most private.
It was a weird feeling to realise that all he wanted to do with a stripper who was the definition of alluring, who was dressed in his clothes and sitting his kitchen with his bare feet kicking the air, was to simply-hold his hand. Just that.
The urge was tremendous.
Ueda would laugh at him.
Kato's voice made his head snap up. "Some people expect more than I'm ready to give. They touch when they're only allowed to look."
"I-" Nakamaru startled, confused and strangely stung.
"I wish they were more like you," Kato finished.
"Oh." The sting washed over with a warmth that spread to his finger tips.
Kato slid off the counter top and glanced at the blinking clock of the microwave.
"I should get going. I have a gig at the senior's home in the morning." At Nakamaru's incredulous look, he laughed, the sweatpants sliding low with the quake of his body. "It's someone's 65th. You wouldn't think it, but some old ladies can get really into it."
"Oh my god," was all Nakamaru could say and Kato laughed more, like he was enjoying putting horrible images into his head.
"All I have to do is this," he paused to demonstrate a swivel of his hips that made Nakamaru hold back a sound in his throat; the sweat pants dipped dangerously lower, "and there's a rain of flying bras."
"Stop," Nakamaru managed, pained on many levels and Kato finally did, the delight transforming his face into something sweet and young.
"I really appreciated this. I've had people wine and dine me to get me into bed," a tilt and spread of thin lips now glistening from cheese than from lip gloss, "but I've never had someone treat me to pizza on their birthday because they felt sorry for me."
In the living room, the music changed to a heavy bass.
"I don't feel sorry for you," Nakamaru said quickly and scratched his neck while looking to the side. "There was just plenty to go around. It would have been a waste. And-the more the merrier."
When he glanced back, Kato was making a funny face, like he was trying to decide on something. "You're really something else, you know." He stood there barefooted in Nakamaru's kitchen for a moment before he turned and quickly made for his bag that he had left slumped next to the door.
Nakamaru panicked and was about to follow when Kato came running back, nearly colliding into his chest.
Nakamaru managed to catch a whiff of him as he steadied himself. Vanilla and strawberry cake.
"I don't normally do this-or at all-but-"
Nakamaru found a business card being thrust at him. There was a large, golden D emblazoned on the front.
"Turn it over," Kato said and Nakamaru did.
Kamenashi Kazuya, it read with a phone number scribbled underneath.
"That's my name. My real name." After spending hours in a stranger's apartment, he looked nervous for the first time. "I go by Kame. Kato Jiro is my stage name. I just-get some creeps stalking me sometimes so this makes things less complicated. Safer. I didn't mean to-"
"Why?"
Kato-Kame-seemed to understand his question and looked down at his glittery toes before looking back up with a determined set of his shoulders.
"Because I trust you."
I want to hold your hand.
Maybe it was as simple as that.
"I really have to go now but if you ever-you know, want to use that card, you're welcome to-I mean, not for the stripping-well, unless you want to of course-but for-" Kame was stumbling into his kitchen stool and tripping over his sweats and he must have been in quite the rush, Nakamaru figured, because he was losing his breath with the speed at which he was trying to end the conversation.
"Other things?" Nakamaru tried to help and Kame nodded vigorously, throwing him a grateful smile. When he was shouldering his bag, he fumbled and Nakamaru bent to help him collect the clothes that spilled out-"Wait, you had clothes?"
Kame didn't meet his eyes as he shoved them away. "It's a rule: always carry a spare. Did you really think I'd go to a gig half-naked hoping someone would be kind enough to offer me their clothes when things got awkward?"
Well, when he put it like that... “You didn’t tell me.”
"I didn’t. Sorry. I just thought… just in case I’d need a reason… I'll return yours, I promise," Kame added hurriedly and Nakamaru remembered.
"Wait-I forgot-the payment-"
"I don't need it," Kame said firmly and when Nakamaru was about to argue, he leaned up swiftly and caught the words with his lips. It was a brief press, warm and soft, and it was more than enough to shut him up.
Kame inched away slowly, looking at him with caution. "That was okay... right?"
Nakamaru might have had explosions going off in his head but he was okay for the most part. Just a little tingly here and there-and everywhere, really.
At his nod, a smile bloomed across Kame's face in a full, beautiful burst.
"Good. That's good. I'll see you later then, yeah?"
"Yeah," Nakamaru returned and it sounded all off and croaky. It only made Kame smile wider though before he left for good, looking small and warm in Nakamaru’s clothes. Only it wasn't for good.
He would be back.
Nakamaru closed the door to his apartment and slumped against it, burying his blushing face into his palms.
"You know you owe me big time for this," he heard Ueda say from not too far away. "I think playing an accidental cupid should absolve me of all cleaning duties. I think instead you should buy me beer for a month at least."
"Shut up," Nakamaru answered, face still buried and a moment later, conceded. "Thank you."
Some surprises could be amazing.
Pairing: NaKame
Word Count: 3.1k
Rating: PG
A/N: An AU inadvertently inspired from Joker Game… ps. it’s not what you think ahahahaa
Summary: Nakamaru gets a surprise present from Ueda that surprises Ueda himself.
When Ueda said he had a surprised lined up for him for his birthday, Nakamaru had fretted inside but thought the worst he would get was a beer shower and maybe a cake in the face. A short humiliation that was all in the name of fun and making Nakamaru stronger somehow, or so Ueda told him with a wicked grin.
Now Nakamaru didn't believe him but he gave the nod because Ueda was his good friend and he had agreed to help clean up his place after the birthday bash Ueda was so insistent on throwing.
The giant, triple tier cake rolling into his apartment mid-way through the party was a comfort. So he would have his face shoved into the massive tower of pink and white icing and Ueda's surprise would be over, Nakamaru thought, and then he could continue on with his life as a newly turned thirty year old.
He was about to lick at a pink, frosted rose when the cake blew up in his face, icing splattering like thick, sweet snow.
Nakamaru found himself shrieking and jumping back with the rest of the guests-louder and higher than them all-and when he finally got enough control of his limbs to look up-he blinked.
Blinked again when there was still a shirtless man standing in his birthday cake.
"Are you the birthday boy?" the man asked and when Nakamaru nodded numbly, he gave a sweet smile. "I think we overdid it with the icing this time around. You've got some on your nose."
Before Nakamaru could even think, the man leaned forward and licked a tuft of icing straight off his nose.
"Happy birthday."
Nakamaru found himself shrieking and jumping back again.
~
"To be fair," Ueda said, once he had finished pounding his fist on Nakamaru's kitchen counter from the hilarity of it all; it had taken quite some time for the guffaws to die down, "I didn't expect that either."
"You called him. You snuck him into my apartment," Nakamaru hissed, quickly shooting a glance over his shoulder to make sure he wasn't being overheard.
"I thought he would be a she!" Ueda's face scrunched with disappointment. "I was hoping to give you boobs. You would have liked that. We both would have liked that. How was I supposed to know the D-Agency would send a guy over."
Nakamaru squinted. He figured it was all in the name, really, but he let it go because Ueda looked truly repentant. Despite the occasional snickering at Nakamaru's expense.
"You're not leaving until you get all that icing out of my carpet."
Ueda sighed heavily but didn't try to barter out of it. He looked past the kitchen doorway and into the living room and winced. "Shouldn't you get him some pants at least? I mean, if you're going to let him stay then-"
"He's not staying," Nakamaru said firmly, his voice going all high and pitchy the way it did whenever he sensed danger.
Despite telling himself otherwise, he turned to follow Ueda's gaze and saw Kato Jiro-the stripper had a name and Nakamaru was only slightly bemused that it wasn't something gaudy like The Conda-mingling with the party-goers easily, like he wasn't extremely under-dressed in only a pair of tight black boxer briefs and matching white cuffs at his wrists. He drank in the appreciative looks-accompanied by hands tucking dollar bills into the waistband of his briefs-and returned them with a flirtatious quip and Nakamaru had to admit that Kato would be a looker even in a turtle neck.
Not that his body was anything to hide-
"I'll tell him to leave," Nakamaru said abruptly and moved to do just that.
He was a couple feet away when Kato somehow sensed him and turned to give him a disarming smile, locks of his permed brown hair falling over one eye. He moved forwards and Nakamaru floundered, stepping back until they were in a semi-private corner of his living room. The family portrait he had taken with his parents hung on the wall just next to them and Nakamaru wondered what his parents would think if they knew he had stripper in his apartment. A shirtless and all too male one at that.
He tried not to think about it and focused on Kato instead, only the bare chest with its wide shoulders and small, pebble-like nipples made that difficult too.
"Are... you enjoying the party?" Nakamaru tried, hoping that Kato would say that it was a boring and that Nakamaru's college buddies weren't paying enough and that the conversation would naturally dissolve into goodbyes and good lucks.
Kato just gave him another curling smile, lips pink and... Nakamaru squinted, glossy.
"It's fun. Different. Not the kind of shindig I expected, but not in a bad way."
Nakamaru laughed all breathy and fake in a way that made him cringe inside. "Believe me, I was in for a surprise myself."
Kato's laugh sounded more alive, the curve of his neck trembling along with his glossy lips. "I noticed. I haven't made someone jump like that in a while," a tilt of his head and a melting grin, "I'll take it as a compliment."
Nakamaru rubbed at his nose and looked at the boring navy blue of his curtains with heat creeping up his neck. "Sure."
"I'm guessing there was a mix up and you were hoping for someone of the opposite sex, huh? Your friend looked apologetic... once he finished laughing." When Nakamaru turned back to him, anxious that he had offended, Kato gave him an easy shrug. Nakamaru noted the way his muscles rippled under the pale skin. He wasn't too beefy, just nicely toned here and there-everywhere, really-and oddly... curvy.
"It's okay, it happens," Kato continued and it took Nakamaru a moment to realise that he wasn't referring to a sudden attraction to male strippers. "At least this wasn't planned as a prank; those gigs can get really uncomfortable. I know it's not much but, if you want, I get requests for the feminine look all the time and a ponytail and some lipstick can go a long way. I even have some wigs in the trunk..."
Nakamaru stared, his tongue limp in his mouth as he tried to both imagine and not imagine.
"That was a joke by the way," Kato said at last, throwing back his head and bringing his hands together in sporadic claps as if Nakamaru was the entertainer between them. When he calmed, he tucked his hair behind his ear so that Nakamaru could see both his eyes for the first time. "I get why your friend wanted to do this for you. I'm just sad that it didn't work out. I hope I didn't spoil your birthday too much though; you seem like a pretty nice guy. Most of them throw fits-and fists," Kato winced, "when they're not expecting it."
"That's-" Nakamaru frowned. Kato was lightly muscled but he was small over all, a few inches shorter so that Nakamaru had to bend his neck a little to meet his eyes. Nakamaru wondered how many punches he had taken and hoped at least that Kato had given just as much damage back. "I wouldn't do that."
"I figured. Thanks for letting me linger for so long anyway," Kato said with an impish smile. "You've got great company... and great central heating."
Nakamaru straightened, sensing the oncoming see you later although they both knew there would never be one.
"I've got great food too," Nakamaru blurted and then amended, "well, pizza really but you can't go wrong with that and academia doesn't pay so well... so... If you'd like... I can get you a slice? Or two? And some pants."
He could tell the invite threw Kato off from the way he froze, derailed from his so long speech. He looked at Nakamaru funny, like he hadn't seen him before even though they had been sequestered in a corner together for a good couple minutes now.
At last, he broke into a smile that was almost shy. "Well, if the birthday boy insists..."
When he led Kato to his bedroom-to find a pair of fitting sweats and nothing more-he passed Ueda who gave him a wide-eyed 'I knew it look' and Nakamaru snapped shut up before he could say anything about it.
~
The sweat pants were baggy around Kato's slim waist, slipping over hipbones to show the brim of his briefs in a way that would distract Nakamaru in odd moments. Like when he was walking through the living room to lower the volume of the music and ended up tripping over the edge of the carpet and his own feet. Or when he was refilling the chips bowl and ended up scattering Cheetos across the table.
"You're a very dedicated host," Kato noted as they brought in dirty dishware into the kitchen; Nakamaru had refuse the help but Kato had insisted. "The chips bowl wasn't even half empty yet."
"I figure if I keep them busy with food, they'll be too busy to wreak havoc in my apartment."
"Ah, so there's an ulterior motive behind the kindness." Nakamaru turned from the sink to see Kato twinkling at him. "Joking."
Nakamaru had given him a red flannel shirt to borrow so that he wouldn't have to roam around bare-chested and while the shirt stretched over his shoulders and arms, the sleeves hanging over his hands, Kato still looked... cosy. Like he had a place in Nakamaru's apartment from the ease with which he opened the fridge and uncapped a bottle of water. It was a crazy thought. Completely uncalled for and ridiculous.
"So what's it like?" Nakamaru asked and when Kato tilted his head, he expanded. "I mean, what's it like in your… profession? How do you like it?"
Nakamaru was an academic. A researcher. Curiosity was healthy, he told himself.
"My profession, huh, well isn't that sweet of you," Kato gave him one of his glowing smiles-it had only been some odd hours and Nakamaru had already identified and tagged the man's expressions individually; this one was a favourite. "Do you mind?" Kato asked briefly, gesturing at the counter top and when Nakamaru shook his head, he jumped on to it.
He swung his bare feet as he spoke and Nakamaru spotted that they were not only painted but glittery to boot.
"It's pretty easy for the most part and with most people it's fun. I didn't get to show much of my moves this time but I admit I have a knack for it. The trick is to not show too much at once; you have to hold on to your ace for the climax, build up the suspense and all," Nakamaru didn't ask what the ace was; figured he'd turn a permanent shade of red if he did. Neither did he ask how showing up in nothing but underpants and cuffs equated to not showing too much at once.
In the back of his mind, Nakamaru was all too aware that he was receiving advice from a stripper in his kitchen on is thirtieth birthday. It had to be fate.
"You like it then?" Nakamaru asked. Despite the assholes.
Kato rolled his head back and talked to the ceiling, his voice rough and soft like it was sanded down. "I guess I do. The attention is amazing. It's heady to have all these people-these strangers who don't even know me-wanting me." Nakamaru flushed despite himself, glad that Kato had his gaze pinned elsewhere. "It can feel powerful but then... Sometimes I'll meet people who want too much."
Nakamaru cleared his throat self-consciously. "Like, you mean, people wanting a relationship?"
Kato snorted and rolled his head back down so that he was looking at Nakamaru through fluffy bangs.
"Sure, if you want to call a one-off romp in the bed a relationship."
"Oh," Nakamaru said and Kato gifted him a small smile.
"You're too nice you know. It's like you're from a different planet. I like that."
"Thanks," Nakamaru said, embarrassed, his flitting gaze landing on Kato's splayed fingers on the counter top. They were short and rough, the fingernails unpainted. It was a strange contrast to the rest of him that was made to glitter and shine for the lusty eyes of the public. Of all the parts that made Kato, his hands looked the most private.
It was a weird feeling to realise that all he wanted to do with a stripper who was the definition of alluring, who was dressed in his clothes and sitting his kitchen with his bare feet kicking the air, was to simply-hold his hand. Just that.
The urge was tremendous.
Ueda would laugh at him.
Kato's voice made his head snap up. "Some people expect more than I'm ready to give. They touch when they're only allowed to look."
"I-" Nakamaru startled, confused and strangely stung.
"I wish they were more like you," Kato finished.
"Oh." The sting washed over with a warmth that spread to his finger tips.
Kato slid off the counter top and glanced at the blinking clock of the microwave.
"I should get going. I have a gig at the senior's home in the morning." At Nakamaru's incredulous look, he laughed, the sweatpants sliding low with the quake of his body. "It's someone's 65th. You wouldn't think it, but some old ladies can get really into it."
"Oh my god," was all Nakamaru could say and Kato laughed more, like he was enjoying putting horrible images into his head.
"All I have to do is this," he paused to demonstrate a swivel of his hips that made Nakamaru hold back a sound in his throat; the sweat pants dipped dangerously lower, "and there's a rain of flying bras."
"Stop," Nakamaru managed, pained on many levels and Kato finally did, the delight transforming his face into something sweet and young.
"I really appreciated this. I've had people wine and dine me to get me into bed," a tilt and spread of thin lips now glistening from cheese than from lip gloss, "but I've never had someone treat me to pizza on their birthday because they felt sorry for me."
In the living room, the music changed to a heavy bass.
"I don't feel sorry for you," Nakamaru said quickly and scratched his neck while looking to the side. "There was just plenty to go around. It would have been a waste. And-the more the merrier."
When he glanced back, Kato was making a funny face, like he was trying to decide on something. "You're really something else, you know." He stood there barefooted in Nakamaru's kitchen for a moment before he turned and quickly made for his bag that he had left slumped next to the door.
Nakamaru panicked and was about to follow when Kato came running back, nearly colliding into his chest.
Nakamaru managed to catch a whiff of him as he steadied himself. Vanilla and strawberry cake.
"I don't normally do this-or at all-but-"
Nakamaru found a business card being thrust at him. There was a large, golden D emblazoned on the front.
"Turn it over," Kato said and Nakamaru did.
Kamenashi Kazuya, it read with a phone number scribbled underneath.
"That's my name. My real name." After spending hours in a stranger's apartment, he looked nervous for the first time. "I go by Kame. Kato Jiro is my stage name. I just-get some creeps stalking me sometimes so this makes things less complicated. Safer. I didn't mean to-"
"Why?"
Kato-Kame-seemed to understand his question and looked down at his glittery toes before looking back up with a determined set of his shoulders.
"Because I trust you."
I want to hold your hand.
Maybe it was as simple as that.
"I really have to go now but if you ever-you know, want to use that card, you're welcome to-I mean, not for the stripping-well, unless you want to of course-but for-" Kame was stumbling into his kitchen stool and tripping over his sweats and he must have been in quite the rush, Nakamaru figured, because he was losing his breath with the speed at which he was trying to end the conversation.
"Other things?" Nakamaru tried to help and Kame nodded vigorously, throwing him a grateful smile. When he was shouldering his bag, he fumbled and Nakamaru bent to help him collect the clothes that spilled out-"Wait, you had clothes?"
Kame didn't meet his eyes as he shoved them away. "It's a rule: always carry a spare. Did you really think I'd go to a gig half-naked hoping someone would be kind enough to offer me their clothes when things got awkward?"
Well, when he put it like that... “You didn’t tell me.”
"I didn’t. Sorry. I just thought… just in case I’d need a reason… I'll return yours, I promise," Kame added hurriedly and Nakamaru remembered.
"Wait-I forgot-the payment-"
"I don't need it," Kame said firmly and when Nakamaru was about to argue, he leaned up swiftly and caught the words with his lips. It was a brief press, warm and soft, and it was more than enough to shut him up.
Kame inched away slowly, looking at him with caution. "That was okay... right?"
Nakamaru might have had explosions going off in his head but he was okay for the most part. Just a little tingly here and there-and everywhere, really.
At his nod, a smile bloomed across Kame's face in a full, beautiful burst.
"Good. That's good. I'll see you later then, yeah?"
"Yeah," Nakamaru returned and it sounded all off and croaky. It only made Kame smile wider though before he left for good, looking small and warm in Nakamaru’s clothes. Only it wasn't for good.
He would be back.
Nakamaru closed the door to his apartment and slumped against it, burying his blushing face into his palms.
"You know you owe me big time for this," he heard Ueda say from not too far away. "I think playing an accidental cupid should absolve me of all cleaning duties. I think instead you should buy me beer for a month at least."
"Shut up," Nakamaru answered, face still buried and a moment later, conceded. "Thank you."
Some surprises could be amazing.