Will you stay a little closer to my heart?
It's that time again. That time when I come online and see 亀梨和也 everywhere and try not to succumb to the insane wave of wibbly feelings, but eventually drown and end up here, trying to give words to my profound adoration for a certain Japanese idol halfway around the globe.
But it's the sort of ridiculous that has been constant for four years, the sort of ridiculous that doesn't wane but grows increasingly stronger as time passes. Some would call this insanity, a crazed obsession.
I'd call it seduction by Kamenashi.
I can go on for pages, waxing poetic about his physical charms because there are many, the majority of them odd and incomprehensible beacuse when you see it, you see it, but for that there are many occassions. On February 23rd, I want to remind myself of why I stay, not because the reminder is necessary, but because it envelopes me in the warmest of feelings. Feelings that accompany a celebration.
So why do I stay? What is it about Kamenashi Kazuya that has me thinking of him each day for four years straight? (And for many others, longer.) The answer is a jumble, a meter wide yarn ball with no loose end. In the end, it's just experiences that come to mind. What's great about Kame is that he doesn't have to be great, he just has to be himself, human and raw. A person who takes what he has, however limited, and makes it into so much more. Therein lies his greatness.
Kame is an inspiration.
A motivator, a roaring engine, a light at the end a tunnel, a story of success.
He's the shove at my back when I'm sprinting in a mad dash to catch the bus, because after the nightmare he has to go through for an hour's worth of footage for Going, the burn in my legs is nothing. He's the tug on my sleeve when I refuse to wake up for my morning commute because who can compete with a man who has packed schedules and keeps pillows in his car and still somehow manages to keep standing. He's the frown that disciplines me to open my books and get my work done despite the terrible distraction of his face just a mouse-click away, because in moments like those I can't help but remember Kamenselor Kazuya's advice to all the students calling in, can't help but remember all that he's given up to get to where he is today. And when I remember, the mundane, gruelling chores of the day are worth it because they're just another rung in the ladder to get to where Kame is in life, accomplished yet still striving.
He's the whispering reassurance when I'm walking up the endless aisle to give a presentation because this is the guy who auditioned in his father's uncool track pants and passed, the once gawky child who ran the stage in front of thousands and still continues to do so. He's the encouraging nudge to the shoulder when I'm in a crowd and wanting to disappear in a poof of social awkwardness, because this charmer who can befriend any generation once sat at the back during Hadaka no Shounen and stuttered whenever the camera pointed his way, was once isolated and mocked and is now almost always beckoned with a fond Kame-chan. He's even the warm squeeze around my hand when I get my eyebrows done because no pain, no gain is something he learned when he was in his bushy-eyebrowed teens, something I wouldn't expect a guy to understand but he does-and it's all of this.
All his many facets that allow him to pervade the many facets of my life in a way that makes it brighter, puts a smile on my face during tough times until they don't seem so tough anymore.
I'm not saying he has what no one else in the world has, that he is alone to possess such qualities. I'm not placing him on a pedestal above everyone, above athletes and scholars and the likes-but I am placing him on a pedestal above me, one that continues to rise but is always within reach, a personal goal. Multiply the number of his Ore Ore identities by some odd hundred thousand and that's how many Kamenashi Kazuyas there are. We each see him differently and he holds a unique meaning to each of us, whether it be simply an idol who wears shiny pants on stage and can't resist a ducklip pout at the camera, or something more.
To me, Kame exists in four words: You can do it.
Watch me and I'll show you how.
I stay because, in many ways, he keeps me going.
He's kept me going for a significant chapter in my life, brought me friends and vast delight, and for that, for all those moments when just thinking his name was enough to streak a miserable day with gold, I wish that he receives all the happiness in the world. All of it. Enough to knock him off his feet. And if not on his birthday, then in parcels, tidbits of joy that fall onto him like snowflakes in the days to come.
I stay for the compressed feeling inside my chest when I see him smile and succeed, the feeling that rises like a carbonated drink strapped onto a roller coaster, fizzing out into a gleeful smile of my own or a warbly sound that's embarrassingly inhuman. I will never meet him, see him face to face or even from afar, and while he may never know of my existence, I am glad that he exists. So very glad that I found him.
And... it's ridiculous. It really is.
My love for him is ridiculous and real.
And what's even more ridiculous is that I know I'm not alone in this.
♥
Happy 27th Birthday, Kamenashi Kazuya.
But it's the sort of ridiculous that has been constant for four years, the sort of ridiculous that doesn't wane but grows increasingly stronger as time passes. Some would call this insanity, a crazed obsession.
I'd call it seduction by Kamenashi.
I can go on for pages, waxing poetic about his physical charms because there are many, the majority of them odd and incomprehensible beacuse when you see it, you see it, but for that there are many occassions. On February 23rd, I want to remind myself of why I stay, not because the reminder is necessary, but because it envelopes me in the warmest of feelings. Feelings that accompany a celebration.
So why do I stay? What is it about Kamenashi Kazuya that has me thinking of him each day for four years straight? (And for many others, longer.) The answer is a jumble, a meter wide yarn ball with no loose end. In the end, it's just experiences that come to mind. What's great about Kame is that he doesn't have to be great, he just has to be himself, human and raw. A person who takes what he has, however limited, and makes it into so much more. Therein lies his greatness.
Kame is an inspiration.
A motivator, a roaring engine, a light at the end a tunnel, a story of success.
He's the shove at my back when I'm sprinting in a mad dash to catch the bus, because after the nightmare he has to go through for an hour's worth of footage for Going, the burn in my legs is nothing. He's the tug on my sleeve when I refuse to wake up for my morning commute because who can compete with a man who has packed schedules and keeps pillows in his car and still somehow manages to keep standing. He's the frown that disciplines me to open my books and get my work done despite the terrible distraction of his face just a mouse-click away, because in moments like those I can't help but remember Kamenselor Kazuya's advice to all the students calling in, can't help but remember all that he's given up to get to where he is today. And when I remember, the mundane, gruelling chores of the day are worth it because they're just another rung in the ladder to get to where Kame is in life, accomplished yet still striving.
He's the whispering reassurance when I'm walking up the endless aisle to give a presentation because this is the guy who auditioned in his father's uncool track pants and passed, the once gawky child who ran the stage in front of thousands and still continues to do so. He's the encouraging nudge to the shoulder when I'm in a crowd and wanting to disappear in a poof of social awkwardness, because this charmer who can befriend any generation once sat at the back during Hadaka no Shounen and stuttered whenever the camera pointed his way, was once isolated and mocked and is now almost always beckoned with a fond Kame-chan. He's even the warm squeeze around my hand when I get my eyebrows done because no pain, no gain is something he learned when he was in his bushy-eyebrowed teens, something I wouldn't expect a guy to understand but he does-and it's all of this.
All his many facets that allow him to pervade the many facets of my life in a way that makes it brighter, puts a smile on my face during tough times until they don't seem so tough anymore.
I'm not saying he has what no one else in the world has, that he is alone to possess such qualities. I'm not placing him on a pedestal above everyone, above athletes and scholars and the likes-but I am placing him on a pedestal above me, one that continues to rise but is always within reach, a personal goal. Multiply the number of his Ore Ore identities by some odd hundred thousand and that's how many Kamenashi Kazuyas there are. We each see him differently and he holds a unique meaning to each of us, whether it be simply an idol who wears shiny pants on stage and can't resist a ducklip pout at the camera, or something more.
To me, Kame exists in four words: You can do it.
Watch me and I'll show you how.
I stay because, in many ways, he keeps me going.
He's kept me going for a significant chapter in my life, brought me friends and vast delight, and for that, for all those moments when just thinking his name was enough to streak a miserable day with gold, I wish that he receives all the happiness in the world. All of it. Enough to knock him off his feet. And if not on his birthday, then in parcels, tidbits of joy that fall onto him like snowflakes in the days to come.
I stay for the compressed feeling inside my chest when I see him smile and succeed, the feeling that rises like a carbonated drink strapped onto a roller coaster, fizzing out into a gleeful smile of my own or a warbly sound that's embarrassingly inhuman. I will never meet him, see him face to face or even from afar, and while he may never know of my existence, I am glad that he exists. So very glad that I found him.
And... it's ridiculous. It really is.
My love for him is ridiculous and real.
And what's even more ridiculous is that I know I'm not alone in this.
♥
Happy 27th Birthday, Kamenashi Kazuya.