'You could have at least shaved your feet'
Click to viewAw man, this video made me sad. Because Johnny seemed sad. Sad Johnny is wrong. Remember when SGA fandom got together and sent Rodney McKay (what is his real name? Does it even matter?) a thousand postcards saying 'You're amazing'? I think we should do that for Johnny Weir. Only call it the Johnny Weir Needs a Hug Campaign.
Relatedly, getting a manicure with Johnny must be the best time ever.
1. Johnny finds a kitten in the street and adopts it but he has no idea how to look after it, it makes him sneeze and the shedding is ABOMINABLE. He brings it to practice dressed up in a little Russian hat and a pink cat-jacket. INTERLUDE WHERE THERE'S A REASONABLE EXPLANATION FOR HIM HANGING OUT WITH EVAN. Then the kitten dies and Johnny's really sad and Evan walks in on him looking through the little drawer filled with all the ridic outfits Johnny bought for it online. And Johnny's like, "I never even named him." And Evan is like, "I thought his name was Sir Fluffball Pretty the Ninth," because honestly he DID think that, he could swear he even heard Johnny SAY that, and Johnny starts to smile and smile.
2. The one where Johnny either loses his shit and gives Evan a makeover, or teaches him to dance - ideally incorporating a pairs ice skating routine based on the ballet Giselle to make up for the fact that Evan moves in right angles. Or both.
3. JOHNNY IS A UNICORN. He is pure! He never has sex! I ... don't know what else but only pure girls with golden halters could tame unicorns. Maybe Evan starts using a different brand of fake tan with gold flakes in it and suddenly Johnny starts following him around with really big eyes into random places like the grocery shop and then getting annoyed that he's interrupted his Pilates to watch Evan buy whipped cream in a can. Evan has no idea what's going on either.
4. SKATE CAMP. I just made this up with my MIND, but maybe it's some crazy American thing where they all get pumped for the Olympics by going up a mountain and bathing in snowmelt streams and having comradely cocoa around a campfire. Johnny hates it but he's determined to medal (in 2014, this is) even if it means pretending to kowtow to the Federation. Evan's always at the head of the pack when they do stupid awful things like run through the forest risking their ankles at 6am I KNOW THIS DOESN'T MAKE SENSE BUT I WANT A REASON FOR THEM TO SNEAK INTO EACH OTHER'S BUNKS AND FALL ASLEEP ON SOFAS WHILE OTHER PEOPLE WATCH AND COO AND LOL AT THEIR DENSENESS.
Okay done now.