How much?
My employer, when asked about health insurance, suggested I check out some website that collects some basic information and sells it to insurance brokers. I filled it out and have gotten calls for the last few days. Today's was priceless.
Idiot Sales Guy: "Hi Jason, this is XXXX from XXXX " blah blah ... " and are you still looking for health coverage?"
Me: "I am."
Idiot Sales Guy: "How much are you looking to spend?"
How much am I looking to spend? Well, about $900 a month each for me and my wife. I'm absolutely made of money and I've grown tired of setting it on fire for barbeque fuel so I thought I'd send much of it to some insurance company every month.
Me: "Are you kidding? How much am I looking to spend? That's your pitch?"
Idiot Sales Guy: "Well, there are a number of different providers in your state with lots of plans. If you tell me how much you are looking to spend I can narrow it down a little."
Me: "Oh, of course. Well, I'm looking to spend little to nothing. I just need catastrophe insurance. Make the deductable like $3000, I don't care. I just need coverage if I need brain surgery after jogging into a light pole or something."
Idiot Sales Guy: "So you don't have a doctor?"
Me: "No. I don't need that kind of insurance. I'm not going to the doctor if I get a fever or a rash. I just need catastrophe insurance. Understand?"
Idiot Sales Guy: "Sure."
(snip 10 minutes of verifying every single thing I filled out on the form. We get to smoking.)
Idiot Sales Guy: "So you use tobacco."
Me: "Yes. I don't think that matters for this though, right? I told you I only need emergency coverage and only for 2 months. When I get cancer in 20 years you are not going to pay for the treatment. Understand?"
Idiot Sales Guy: "I do."
(snip 10 more minutes of height, weight, etc. Why the hell did I type this stuff into the form, anyway?)
Idiot Sales Guy: "Ok, we have a plan here for $450/month that will have a doctor visit co-pay of $20/per visit."
Me: "I don't need to see a doctor. I just need catastrophe insurance. You might want to check with a doctor about your hearing though."
Idiot Sales Guy: (laughs politely.) "Well these plans are flexible. How much are you looking for your doctor visit co-pay to be?"
Me: "Good bye."
Idiot Sales Guy: "Hi Jason, this is XXXX from XXXX " blah blah ... " and are you still looking for health coverage?"
Me: "I am."
Idiot Sales Guy: "How much are you looking to spend?"
How much am I looking to spend? Well, about $900 a month each for me and my wife. I'm absolutely made of money and I've grown tired of setting it on fire for barbeque fuel so I thought I'd send much of it to some insurance company every month.
Me: "Are you kidding? How much am I looking to spend? That's your pitch?"
Idiot Sales Guy: "Well, there are a number of different providers in your state with lots of plans. If you tell me how much you are looking to spend I can narrow it down a little."
Me: "Oh, of course. Well, I'm looking to spend little to nothing. I just need catastrophe insurance. Make the deductable like $3000, I don't care. I just need coverage if I need brain surgery after jogging into a light pole or something."
Idiot Sales Guy: "So you don't have a doctor?"
Me: "No. I don't need that kind of insurance. I'm not going to the doctor if I get a fever or a rash. I just need catastrophe insurance. Understand?"
Idiot Sales Guy: "Sure."
(snip 10 minutes of verifying every single thing I filled out on the form. We get to smoking.)
Idiot Sales Guy: "So you use tobacco."
Me: "Yes. I don't think that matters for this though, right? I told you I only need emergency coverage and only for 2 months. When I get cancer in 20 years you are not going to pay for the treatment. Understand?"
Idiot Sales Guy: "I do."
(snip 10 more minutes of height, weight, etc. Why the hell did I type this stuff into the form, anyway?)
Idiot Sales Guy: "Ok, we have a plan here for $450/month that will have a doctor visit co-pay of $20/per visit."
Me: "I don't need to see a doctor. I just need catastrophe insurance. You might want to check with a doctor about your hearing though."
Idiot Sales Guy: (laughs politely.) "Well these plans are flexible. How much are you looking for your doctor visit co-pay to be?"
Me: "Good bye."