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Gossip Girl fan fiction: The Princess of Denial
Character-centric: Blair Waldorf
Ships: Blair/Nate, Blair/Serena as BFF's, small amounts of Dan/Serena.
Chapter: 1/2/3/4
Time line: Begins during the Senior year, 'The thin line between Chuck and Nate' took place at the end of Junior year for the purpose of this fic.
Summary: Good Morning Upper East Siders, Gossip Girl here.
Denial, everyone falls into it. But not everyone has mastered it quite like Blair Waldorf. Just ask her best friend S or her ex-boyfriend N, they both know the extent to which B likes to pretend everything is perfect. But now that her world has fallen apart, will we finally see the mess that she really is? Or will she rise from the ashes of her own public humiliation and teach little J that nobody pushes a princess off her pedestal without suffering the concequences? Stay tunes my friends, I have a feeling this tale has only just begun.
So here’s the question B,
Redemption or Revenge?
“You can’t always get what you want, but if try sometimes you might just find, you get what you need.”
-The Rolling Stones
Three Months Later
“Oh honey, you are not wearing that to the luncheon are you? It’s so unflattering for your figure.”
Blair listened to her mother’s critic not taking it too heart too much, last year she would have memorized every world repeating them over and over inside her head. But now it just seemed so unimportant whether her mother thought she was skinny enough or whether her headband was the right color to compliment her skin tone.
Nate was talking to her again, just like when they were in middle school. They were starting fresh, “friends first” they had promised and Blair refused to ruin her second chance by making the same mistakes again. This time she wouldn’t let the little things interfere, she was trying to be more blasé about certain things, like her weight and her social standing. And she wasn’t going to rush Nate into something he wasn’t ready for, and something she wasn’t even ready for herself.
She was still an “Upper Side princess” as Dan liked too put it, but she discovered she had matured a lot over the last six months. Serena told her the other night that she reminded her of her mother, Lily van der Woodsen, she said that as much as her mother liked to put up a façade for the outside world deep down she cared a lot more about what the people she loved thought about her. Blair took it as a complement because she knew how much Serena secretly worships Lily.
And most shockingly Chuck and Nate were actually on speaking terms again.
Well more like grunting terms… Blair had no idea what they said half the time, one boy would grunt and the other would shrug in response. But progress was progress she decided, laughing at the irony of it all.
In the beginning her entire world came crumbling down around her because Nate wanted Serena and but Blair was with Nate and Chuck wanted Blair but Nate wanted Blair back and all Serena wanted was to be friends with Blair again.
It’s funny how a little time can heal some of the deepest wounds, but it couldn’t’ heal all of them.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
“Watch it skank.”
Jenny spat as she pushed past Blair in the girls locker room.
Serena turned around rolling her eyes at the younger girl, “Cut it out Jen.”
“Uhh My names Jenny. And do I know you? Aren’t you that slut you used to be popular?”
The blood boiled in Blair’s veins, old Blair would have slapped the biatch down months ago. But this was new Blair, and new Blair was better than that, she repeated the mantra to herself silently while Jenny and her posse cackled at the two seniors as they walked out the locker doors.
Besides, as much as Blair hated Jenny she genuine liked Dan. He had proven himself to be a really great guy (not that she’d ever admit that) and Jenny was his sister. No matter how much she’d changed, anything Blair did to get revenge on Jenny would only ultimately hurt Dan.
Blair sent a smirk at Serena, “Aren’t you glad I made you take co-ed gym this semester?”
“Forget them. Let’s invite the boys over to your house tonight and have cocktails and watch all the Aubrey Hepburn movies you have stashed in your room!”
In Serena’s bubbly presence it was hard for Blair not to smile, “I can’t. My mothers doing some business with Teen Vogue, organizing a campaign for her winter line or something.” She waved a hand dismissively and grabbed her bag motioning for Serena to hurry up. “Eleanor Waldorf would not approve of loud, drunk and in the boys’ case, high, teenagers running around while she’s talking about her precious clothing to potential buyers.”
Serena remand undeterred, “Well maybe we could do it some where else?”
“Maybe” Blair agreed her heart only half into the idea, she read about Nate and some random hooking up on Gossip Girl this morning and wasn’t exactly in a joyful partying mood.
As the girls made their way towards the quiet courtyard they had claimed as their own for lunch, Serena caught sight of Dan already waiting for them, head buried in his latest novel of the week.
“Dan! Hey!”
She said hello to him as though she didn’t see him every single day Blair thought slightly annoyed but couldn’t determine why.
“Hey,” He nodded back smiling the secret smile that he and Serena seemed to use to often when Blair was around.
Blair felt nostalgic for the days when it was her and Nate using that smile around Serena.
“Waldorf” He nodded at Blair now snapping her back into the present.
She returned the gesture in her playful tone, “Humphrey.”
It didn’t take too long before Iz and Kati were sitting with them as well, they apologized to Blair after a month’s reign under ‘the horrible Queen J’, and Blair had happily accepted them back… because the new improved Blair wasn’t about revenge.
After a few minutes of gossiping with Iz and Kati and making fun of Dan and Serena’s kissing method, Blair noticed Nate making his way over, Trinity Debarks snuggled closely under his arm.
Blair’s heart skipped a beat and not in a good way.
“Man, that the new lacrosse coach is kicking my ass.” Nate complained to nobody in general as he sat down next to Dan, Serena shot daggers at him on the other side.
Trinity giggled flicking her faux orange locks (well Serena argued that they were naturally that color but Blair wasn’t buying it) to the side and ran her hand through his thick brown hair, “Aww poor Natey, would you like a rub down?”
Blair tried to choke back vomit at the irritating baby tone Trinity had used, even Nate seemed to shudder.
Chuck now approached them and judging by the size of his Cheshire grin he had already seen who Nate’s newest play thing was.
“Why if it isn’t Trinity D, having lunch with us today?” He inquired politely; the malice in his eyes didn’t go unnoticed by Blair, Serena or Dan.
She nodded affirmatively and kissed Nate on the cheek sloppily.
“Hey didn’t I read something about you on Gossip Girl the other day?” Chuck was watching her like a snake watches it’s prey squirming.
“Something about me? I don’t think so.” She turned beetroot red, which make her orange hair look even more ridiculous in Blair’s opinion.
“Yeah, yeah wasn’t it that thing about how your mother made a sex tape with your pool boy… or something.” He trailed off smirking as Trinity shook her head, “Uh I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She grabbed her bag and stood up quickly, “I have to go I forget I had an appointment. Talk to you later Natey.”
“Why do you always have to scare them away Chuck?” Nate asked only half annoyed with his best friend.
Chuck merely shrugged and lit up a joint offering it to him, Nate took it with out much insistence.
Chuck blew out the smoke, turning in Blair’s direction he sent her a meaningful stare, which said, you own me one.
And Blair knew exactly what he was thinking, because Nate didn’t belong with any of the brainless bimbos that he’d hooked up with since they broke up. No, Chuck had been right all along, Nate belonged with her.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
Blair was sitting in the newly built Constance-Billard/St Jude’s library trying to force herself to concentrate on the sentence she had been reading for the last ten minutes.
“Are you coming to Dan’s tonight?” Nate’s warm breath on the side of her face startled Blair. He was leaning awfully close, she could smell the mint of his chewing gum and their cheeks were almost touching, “Sorry did mean to scare you...” he replied sheepishly shifting back into a seat beside her.
“It’s okay.” She murmured sneaking a glance at the librarians’ desk and then back at him, she wondered if he could hear her heart pounding loudly in her chest.
“So are you going?” He asked again his voice slightly impatient.
Blair waited another moment until the librarians back was facing them, “Why are we going to Dan’s in the first place?”
She heard his chair scrap lightly on the floor as he leaned over again to speak in her ear, “Serena wanted to have a party tonight and Dan’s place was the only one parent free.”
Blair tried to calm the irregular beat of her heart as Nate leaned closer to hear her reply, “Did Dan actually agree to this?” she turned to face him sending him a pointed look, they both knew this was whole heartedly Serena’s idea and that having rich Upper East side kids paw through his run down apartment was the last thing Dan would have wanted.
“Yeah. It’s only going to be like you me Chuck and a few… others.” Blair’s stomach sunk at the sly way Nate threw in ‘others’.
She fought hard to keep any hint of jealousy from her voice, “Is Trinity coming?”
“Maybe… I don’t know I don’t think she’s too keen on hanging out with Chuck again anytime soon, not that I blame her.”
Blair forced herself to sound indifferent, “Yeah.”
“Excuse me; please refrain from speaking when in the library.”
Blair and Nate jumped at the sound of the librarian’s voice in front of their table.
“Sorry sir.” Nate replied guilty, sending him a dazzling pout and using his natural charm to appear sincere.
Blair huffed slightly annoyed but mostly impressed, as she always was when ever Serena or Nate dazzled people. It only struck Blair at that moment just how ridiculously alike Serena and Nate were… they were both drop dead gorgeous, so strong, carefree and elegant they could blend into any situation and yet still manage to stand out for all the right reasons... they both acted on impulse and didn’t really care what anyone thought of their decisions.
Blair sighed lightly.
Nate and Serena were the only two people in the entire world who had the ability to be unconsciously perfect, while Blair, plain and mundane, felt like the only person in the entire world who was so painfully and consciously aware of her own imperfection.
Sometimes though when she was around them, she felt like that confidence wore off, it was almost like a drug. She was addicted to them and the way they made her feel... even if sometimes they made her feel like shit a million other times they made her feel like she was just as perfect as they were, like she was worthy of being around them. In the beginning, before all of the things that made her mistrust them occurred, they actually competed for her attention. When she was younger it felt like she was constantly being pulled in two directions, one with Serena and her wild and crazy antics and then the other with Nate flawless and impeccable treating her like a princess. She didn’t resent them for it though, as much as she would complain and try to convince them to get along, she secretly liked it. It amazed Blair that these two magnificent creatures, seemingly from a completely different planet, actually cared about her.
It only seemed fitting that she had fallen in love with the both of them.
“So are you coming?” Nate whispered losing his patience. He was practically on top of her, she gasped in surprise. He could never sit still for more than two seconds.
“Alright! Sheez,” He visible relaxed and let go of the back of her chair. Blair eyed him suspiciously, “why do you want me to come so badly?”
He shrugged, “No reason.”
Blair rolled her eyes and she tried not to smile when she caught him watching her from the corner of his eye, Nate was acting really weird today but she kind of liked it.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
After finally coming to the conclusion that the tweed vest wasn’t as fancy as the brown jacket Dan heard a knock on the front door.
The first thing he noticed when he opened it was Nate’s perfectly chosen attire. The deep blue shirt set off his cerulean eyes and the shirt front was effortlessly tucked into the gold faced leather belt, he looked like he literally stepped off an Italian runway. Dan shifted uncomfortably in his plain brown vest and worn dark blue jeans.
His eyes found Blair’s as she peaked out at him from behind Nate, her face was anything but angelic. He tried not to visibly cringe at the sound of her teeth grinding together.
“We had to come on the subway,” Nate said as if it explained Blair’s behavior, “Serena wanted our trip to be ‘authentic’”
Serena smiled so brightly it momentarily blinded him; she sashayed her way into the room looking like an Italian runway model as well.
He looked back at Blair now, as her doe eyes watched Serena’s movement enviously, suddenly the eyes he had been studying were focused on his own.
“Dan don’t even start with me, if I don’t wash my hands this very second I swear I’m going to having a seizure and die!”
He jumped back in defeat and pointed towards the bathroom he shared with Jenny, “We wouldn’t want that to happen, Waldorf, not when you’re in such a festive mood...”
Blair was tempted to stay and throw some jabs of her own at him but found the urge to scrub much more overwhelming.
She pushed past him and rounded the corner, opening the door in a hurray she barely heard a girly squeal emitted from inside.
“Oh sorry!”
Jenny shot Blair a panicked glare before wrapping something in her facecloth and dumping it into the trash bin near the sink.
“It’s rude to just come into someone’s house and burst into their bathroom you know! Who even invited you?”
Blair opened her mouth to reply but Jenny cut her off, “Don’t tell me, my lame ass brother.”
Jenny brushed past Blair on her way out, “Don’t touch any of my stuff.”
Stepping inside Blair twisted around, a wicked smile on her face, “Like I would touch anything of yours.” Blair kicked a frayed towel on the ground to the side, “I mean I’ve heard of hand me downs but I didn’t know you could have hand me hand me downs.”
Jenny’s eyes lit up in anger, “You know I had so much fun hanging out with Nate. I might see if he wants to hang out again tonight.”
Gritting her teeth Blair slammed the door on Jenny’s triumphant smirk.
Blair eyed the bathroom bin dangerously.
After a moment of silent debating she picked up the face cloth and unraveled it; a white plastic pregnancy test fell onto the vanity.
The bright pink plus stared back at her defiantly.
Well well Little J what have you been up to?!
Blair whipped out her phone she set the camera to indoor lighting. Placing the test on the vanity carefully she held the phone out to capture the image, her finger hovered anxiously on the capture button. Old Blair would have sent this bombshell to Gossip Girl two minutes ago but New Blair couldn’t do something so hurtful, so ironically justified...
She couldn’t… could she?
“Hurray up B, I need to pee!”
Serena’s melodic voice made her jump six foot. Quickly Blair snapped a few pictures of the test and saved them for later. Wrapping it back up into the face cloth she placed it back into the bin as she had found it.
Revenge was best served with a dish of irony after all...
Okay so this was supposed to end at tree chapters but i had to write a fourth as i would have never gotten this posted otherwise. I hope you all have been enjoying it so far and I'm so sorry for the long time it took to update but i have already planned and started writing the last chapter which i shall post shortly. I want to thank everyone who reviewed and gave me the inspiration to continue this fic (the show hasn't been very helpful in the NB department lately :-( but as long as i have encouragement from you guys i seem to be able to still write lol) so thank you so much again!