Valentine's Day
On Valentine's Day, Xander sets up a surprise for Jill on the beach. They are cute and couply and it is the best Valentine's Day either of them have ever had.
For about the millionth time that day, Xander thanked god for having a gay father figure on the island. There as no way he’d have been able to pull off a dinner like this, even with a cookbook and the ingredients all done for him. There was fish, breaded in coconut, with fruit salad and even a small cake. It was simple, but oh so perfect for Valentines Day. He hoped Micheal had a good one after helping him with his. He'd set it up on rock by the beach that was flat like a table and covered with a tablecloth that the clothes box was kind enough to give him. It was covered in bright Hawaiian flowers but it still worked.
Now he just had to wait for her. He kept arranging the flowers on the make shift table. After Jill had told him that Bart had wanted the treehouse today, he'd wanted to make this really special. But he and Valentine's Day didn't exactly have the best track record so he just wanted everything to go smoothly, much less well.
Nervous. That's what she was. She was nervous, because she'd never done this. The Valentine's day, the... the boyfriend thing. Jill tucked back her hair yet again, and honestly felt a little ridiculous. She was in a dress - not overly dressy, just... pretty. Barefoot, because she didn't want to walk all that way in any sort of dress shoes, and she wasn't about to wear sneakers.
Not that it stopped her from thinking. Or worrying. She had a bundle - the oddest present, she was sure, but hopefully he'd like it. She hoped. She didn't even really know what they'd be doing, but she certainly couldn't go back to the tree house - not with Tim and Bart there and all. Her cheeks burned just as the dirt started turning to sand.
Xander sat cross legged next to the table, still gittery, but even more so when he looked up and saw her coming. He immediately stood up and brushed the sane off the nicer pair of jeans the box had offered up and a dark blue polo shirt that he thought was tight, but actually fit normally. Walking towards her, he gave her a bashful smile. "Hey....Happy Valentine's Day."
That was all it took for her cheeks to suffuse with color. "I- Happy Valentine's Day." She didn't know what to do with the bundle in her arms, but she leaned up to kiss him sweetly, unsure how to get it out of the way without dropping it. She hadn't actually noticed anything but him yet - Tim would have been disappointed in her observational skills. She was kind of occupied looking at him, and... well. Kissing him, however briefly.
It was a bit of relief when she kissed him as some of nerves seemed to drain away. When they pulled apart, Xander smiled at her and took her hand. "I made...well, really I helped Micheal make it...er dinner." He lead her towards the 'table' and motioned to a cushion on her side for her to sit on. "I uh figured you wouldn't want to get your dress sandy."
Jill's eyes widened, and she looked back up at him before her eyes flicked to the table. "Oh, Xander." She hadn't expected - well, honestly, she hadn't expected anything, because she hadn't really thought, but he'd- and he'd taken the time and thought about it, and- "This is just-" She smiled, dimples appearing in her cheeks. "This is smashing. Just absolutely." She leaned up to kiss his cheek again, not even sure if she wanted to sit down yet, because she'd have to let go of his hand - which she was kind of gripping tightly without realizing it.
Xander watched her expression like a hawk, his heart beating rapidly. The last time he'd done something for a girl on Valentine's Day, she'd broken up with him. Sure it had been for a whole other reason, but still. The fact that Jill liked it made a weight fall from his shoulder. "I'm glad you like it." He squeezed her hand back, as his relief showed on his features and in his voice.
"How could you think I wouldn't?" Jill looked back at him, her brows furrowing. She bit her lip, and then remembered, all of a sudden. "Oh! I- It's nothing like this, I just- I suppose I got something for you. It's nowhere near as..." Her eyes flicked to the table again, before she looked up. "But I- I hope you-" She cut off abruptly, and instead just handed him the bundle that seemed to be wrapped in a tablecloth, tied with twine. "Sorry about the wrapping. And all."
Unable to help he flush that came over him, Xander replied, "Valentine's and Me? Not so good history together, so I worried. But now I can say I'm not a complete failure at it." Then his smile turned to touched as he looked between the bundle Jill had handed him and her. "You didn't have too..." But his tone totally opposed his words. He carefully untied the twine and let the tablecloth fall away.
The stack of four gaudy Hawaiian shirts was folded neatly, and Jill knew at that moment that this was a horrible idea. What was she thinking? Clothes were something that your grandmother got you, and certainly not for Valentine's Day. "I- I know it's not much-" She'd thought that because he always complained about the dark clothes the box gave him, this might be a change - and he'd mentioned something offhandedly once, but...
As the shirts were revealed, Xander's entire face lit up. Sure, he'd gotten some non-Angel ish shirts from other people but these...these were perfect! Just like his ones from home. He immediately turned to Jill and gave her a soft kiss. "Thank you! These are awesome!"
Jill's eyes widened in surprise. "... I- They are?" She looked at them, then at Xander's face. "I mean. You're really sure?"
Xander's smile is so bright, it's almost splitting his face in two. "Yeah! These are just like I would have had at home!" He carefully sets them down before putting a hand around her waist so he could pull her close and give her a proper thank you kiss.
Jill flushed, leaning up on her tiptoes in the sand. Her hand skimmed up his chest to his shoulder, and she honestly thought that this was very nice indeed, but-
Food.
"Don't wanna stop kissing you," she murmured against his lips as she pulled away. "But... there's food." And it smelled terribly good, and was making Jill's stomach rumble.
It took Xander a moment to register what she had said because the kissage? Very very nice. He blinked for a moment then seemed to remember in an instant. "Food! Right yes, I doubt Micheal would be happy with me if I begged and pleaded for his help and we didn't eat it." Kissing her gently on the cheek, he moved around to sit on the other side of the table and began portioning out the fish on the plates he'd borrowed from the kitchen.
She sat - not quite as gracefully as she'd hoped too, but still, she sat. So that was something. She shook her head slightly, and her eyes flicked back up to Xander. "This... this is just..." She trailed off. "Nobody's ever cooked for me, before. I mean, my Mum's made dinner, but that doesn't count."
Xander blushed slightly. "Well, like I said, I only helped. But I wanted this to be special and everything and well, since I can't really take you out anywhere, this is the next best thing. I guess anyway." He just kinda of rambled on as he cut and served the fish, adding the fruit salad before handing her a plate.
"This is better then you taking me out." Jill smiled, taking the plate. "This... you actually... thought about it, I suppose?" She delicately took a bite of the fish, and her eyes widened. "Ishgood." She swallowed, then blushed redder. "Sorry, it's just... really good."
"I'll make sure and tell Micheal." Xander said, still blushing and looking down at his food, not used to all the praise, though he was still smiling. "I was hoping you'd like fish, I'm not much of a pork person myself.”
Jill looked down at her plate. "I... don't eat a lot of meat. Fish is good. I... I can eat things that are processed." She didn't elaborate, taking a bite instead before drastically changing the subject. "Thank you. For tonight, I mean. I don't know where else I'd be."
Thankfully, Xander was from Sunnydale and knew when to take a hint on stuff like that. "Hey, it's night for doing couply things, made especially for it even. Where else would I want to be?"
Jill shrugged, chewing before she swallowed. "I don't know. I... Some people don't spend time together, I suppose." But this was better. And nice.
"Well we aren't some people." He teased lightly before taking a bite of fish, grinning as he looked at her through his bang.
Jill smiled, and continued to eat, making small talk as she finished her fish and the fruit salad. "I got a new bow from the island. And a load of arrows and things." She didn't sound quite as happy about this as it warranted, but she took a sip of her drink.
To which Xander picked up on since he knew how much she loved her archery practice. "This is of the good right?"
Jill looked up. "Hrm? Oh, of course it is." She paused, and licked her lips. "It... It's just-" She looked down at the table, her brows furrowing again for a moment. "They're... they belong to someone back... home, for Bart and Tim. They said it... fit, for me to have them." She shrugged, not... not really wanting to bring up why it bothered her. Not on Valentine's Day. He didn't need to know- He didn't need to know that the Arrows were apparently separate from everyone else because they killed and were able to live with it.
He could sense her unease but of course for the wrong reason. "That must be kinda weird, getting something that belong to someone else." He said sympathetically.
Jill pressed her lips together. "I- It's not... that." She swallowed hard. "I think it's all new, but it's just... his... kind of things. I don't know." Her eyes flicked up to his. "... Uhm-" She had to fins something else to say. "At least it makes more sense then last years. I love my horse, but... I still don't know why I got her."
Xander frowned for a moment as he tried to puzzle out what she was saying. His kind of things? Were they not the right kind of arrows? Were their different kinds? He didn't know anything about weapons except what Giles had taught them that summer Buffy had disappeared. "Are you going to use the arrows and stuff? Isn't that all that matters?" Then his eyes lit up. "A horse? Really? That's so cool!" He blushed. "Sorry, this is coming from a kid who was never allowed to have a pet."
Thank Goodness. Jill grabbed onto the fact that there was something else to talk about. She nodded, smiling. "She's... she's a good horse. You could ride her, if you wanted? Or just... see her?" She honestly was good. Just... Jill didn't quite know what to do with her.
”Really? I'd like that. To see her, I mean. I'd like my bones to stay unbroken and me and a horse? Don't see that working out too well." He knew she had to be thinking how immature he had to be to get excited over a horse but he was! Because it was cool!
She wasn't thinking that at all - just that she was thankful he'd let the other things drop. "She's very gentle. Maybe after you've known her for a bit, you could give it a try?" She smiled, reaching across the table to brush some of the hair from his face without thinking.
"Maybe. You'd have to teach me, I've never even been on those pony rides they always had at the fair. Willow always felt sorry for the ponies so we never did it." He rambled to distract from the blush that covered his cheeks when she touched his face gently like that.
Jill tilted her head to the side. "You miss her." She flushed. "I mean, of course you do, it's just... your voice changes when you talk about her."
Xander couldn't help the fond expression that came over him. "Yeah...this is the longest I haven't talked to her since we were five and I stole her Barbie. She's my best friend, practically my sister. My other half you know? In a completely platonic way of course." Which just made him blush again as he was reminded of The Mistake but still, it was the truth.
Jill nodded, slightly. "I hope-" She tried to find the right way to word it. "That you see her again." She didn't know if that meant he'd be gone, or if Willow would be here, but... she'd never seen him talk quite like that about anyone. "She's very lucky to have a friend like you."
"Me too." And Xander did. Oh did he. It was nice having Buffy here, but he needed his Willow. There was no doubt about that. Then he ducked his head bashfully. "I guess. I always considered myself the lucky one."
Jill spoke softly, looking down at the tablecloth. "That's part of what makes you special." She looked back up, and inhaled, feeling so incredibly awkward. "Cake?"
Xander just kind of looked at her in wonder, having no idea what to say in response to that. Finally he just nodded. "Umm...yeah okay." He shuffled some of the plates out of the way and onto a nearby rock before bringing out two new plates for the dessert he'd placed in the middle of the table.
She was rather resolutely examining the tablecloth, the confession making her... nervous, of sorts. "Here. Let me?" He'd all but served her dinner, the least she could do was get desert.
Xander just nodded and handed over the knife he was going to use to cut the cake. "Its pineapple, I hope that's okay."
Jill laughed. "If it wasn't, I don't quite know how I'd survive here." She cut it carefully, getting him a piece before getting one for herself. "I feel like I should thank you again, for some reason, but I think you'd make a face at me."
Teasingly, he made said face just because she'd said that, then burst out laughing. "I should thank you for coming. I mean really, last time I did something for a girl on Valentine's Day, she broke up with me. The fact you came? Totally ahead in my book."
Jill blinked. ".... She- But why?" She'd actually stopped with her fork halfway to her mouth, and she was looking at him kind of like he was crazy.
Xander actually smiled. "It's a long story. But I don't blame her for it and we ended up getting back together." He really didn't need Jill to know exactly what happened...
Jill took the bite of her cake, her brows rising from how good it was. She licked her lips, and knew she was getting in trouble just by asking this. "Do you miss her, too?"
Thinking for a minute, Xander nodded. "Yeah, I mean, she was my friend. But do I miss her like I miss Willow? Not even close." His voice told all the difference as he spoke about the two women.
"Do you wish she was here, too?" Jill had gotten strangely... quiet. It wasn't that she was jealous, it was just... maybe he was... happier. With her.
"Cordelia?" Then he sensed where this was going. "No, one because she'd be miserable with no shopping and two, well, let's just say, we had fun in high school, but really, we weren't cut out for each other." It was putting it mildly but still, it worked.
Jill nodded just slightly, her own thoughts bothering her. What should it matter if he did? "This is really good, Xander." She bit the inside of her lip for a moment. Now... now wasn't a good time to ask him if he'd rather be home, either. She just... kept coming up with bad things. "After this, do you want to maybe go for a walk, just kind of talk some more?"
He paused in the middle of taking a bite to look at her. Something was bothering but he had no idea what. She hadn't been this tense when they were talking about Willow, why now about Cordelia? "Sure, I'd like that. I Umm...I have another surprise for you actually and we gotta walk there anyway."
Jill blinked, her eyes widening. "What? You- I mean- You didn't have too-" She was stammering now, not even quite sure what to say.
Xander ducked his head bashfully again. "It's well...you'll see." He took another bite of cake to stop himself from saying anymore
She felt- she should have done more. She didn't know if he'd been going to do anything at all, and- "Alright." The word seemed perfectly normal, and she set herself on finishing her cake. That? Was safe. And didn't involve her talking.
Once they were finished , he cleaned up all the dishes and extra food and put them away in a box to be taken back to the compound. Then he stood up, brushed the sand off his pants and held out his hand to her with a grin. "Come on."
She stood carefully so she didn't step on the hem of her dress, and then slipped her hand into his. "You really didn't have to do anything else." She said it softly, just... to make sure he knew.
"I know." Xander bit his lip as he look down at his feet bashfully before looking over at her. "I want too."
Jill nodded, then, not quite knowing what else to do. "Show me?" She said it softly, so he wouldn't think she didn't want it - it wasn't that at all.
Xander just smiled, squeezed her hand and led her down the beach.
Jill stopped, and tugged him to a stop, too, sucking in a deep breath. "Xander?" She looked up at him, and her thumb brushed his wrist. "I- Even if I say the wrong thing - I'm just worrying about... me, I guess. You're amazing. And tonight's brilliant. I just wanted you to know."
And that brought on a full fledge blush. It took Xander a moment to find his voice. "Your not doing anything wrong Jill. Believe me." He paused, ducking his head again before adding, "I only did all this because your amazing too."
Jill stopped dead for what had to be the third time tonight, before she paused. "... I- We can go." She didn't let go of his hand, her lip tugged between her teeth.
Xander only nodded and led on. Finally they came to a point in the shore where the trees came down almost to the water at high tide. There, he'd set up a canopy of the same bright color fabric that the table cloth had been in and cushioned the floor with a couple comforters, also in bright colors from the box. He flushed slightly, unable to look at Jill as he spoke. "You said that Bart wanted the tree house all night so I thought, you know, you'd need somewhere to stay tonight..."
All he heard from her was a soft inhale, almost a gasp, as she stood and looked at... this. That he'd put so much effort- "Oh..." The word escaped on the exhale of air, not even looking at him yet.
Fidgeting when she didn't say anything, Xander brought his other hand up to rub the back of his neck. "I realize it's no that private or anything but I thought, for one night it wouldn't be bad..."
Jill shook her head. "No, Xander-" She finally was able to look at him instead of the... ... what he'd done. "This- I- I never thought- it's so sweet." She'd never had anyone do anything like this for her. Because of her. He'd done this because of her. Because... he'd wanted too. "This... it's-" It defied description. More then.
He couldn't help breathing a small sigh of relief since she seemed to like it, though her reaction was still puzzling him. Trying not to think about it, Xander kicked off his shoes and moved to sit down, pulling her with him. "Here, come try it out." She seemed to be stuck so maybe giving her another opening would help?
She didn't even pause before she sank down with him, and then slipped her arms around his neck, hugging him as tight as she could, her face against his neck. She didn't really know what to say, besides... that this was more then she'd ever thought... more. It was just more.
While he didn't hesitate in wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her close, Xander wasn't sure what else to do. So he kissed the top of her head and just held her.
"No one's ever done anything like this for me." She whispered it against his neck, still curled close. "None of it."
Oh. Xander bit his lip. "I'm glad I could then."
"I-" She didn't know how to put it into words. She smoothed his hair without conscious thought, taking solace from the way it slid between her fingers. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I... I keep thinking of things I should tell you, but not now. Not when it'll ruin this."
"I doubt whatever you have to say could ruin this Jill." He said confidently, looking at her with as much fondness as he could muster.
Something flickered in her eyes, and she leaned up and just kissed him once, before sitting back with her face back against his neck. "I don't. Doubt it, I mean. It's... perfect the way it is."
"Okay." Xander said gently with a soft smile and just held her closer. "Do...do you want me to stay with you? Tonight?" He got flustered for a moment. "Just to sleep, ya know?" That was the last thing he needed, for her to think he'd down all this for sex, which he so wasn't. Especially after she'd just called this perfect.
Jill nodded. "I- I sleep better when there's someone-" She flushed, then, too. "When it was so cold, we all- for warmth, I mean. It just- It helps with the nightmares." She didn't realize that she'd not really explained that in detail, either. "If- If you don't mind?"
"I offered didn't I?" He replied with a soft smile and hugged her a bit harder. He wasn't going to question the reasons; she'd tell him when she was ready.
She smiled, and leaned up to kiss him, her lips slow and full of sweetness. "I- I should tell you. So you know. I mean, about... them. The nightmares." If he was going to be sleeping here - he had to know why.
"Jill, if you don't want to tell me right now, that's fine." He glanced around the canopy, which he'd called perfect and he didn't want her to be upset after such a nice day.
Jill shook her head slightly. "Just- Just so you know. If I wake up." She ran her thumb over his cheek, her eyes clear - not upset, just... needing. Needing him to know this, so if she fell apart- ... So she could be alright, and not scare him. Not have to worry about scaring him.
Seeming to understand how important this was, he met her gaze and nodded. "Alright."
Jill sucked in a breath, and said the words in a rush so that they could move on. "When I was in Narnia- I told you there was a war. I- I fought in it. On the losing side. And- And I still have nightmares, because- When you're in war-" Something flickered in her eyes, but she kept going. "You have to do what you have to survive. To help the greater good. And I... killed. People. And Beasts." Oddly, there was no flicker now; her eyes were as close as they could be to flat and dead. "And I still have nightmares about... then, and about some of the things I saw in the War." The Horses. "That's why I don't eat a lot of meat, and why being an... Arrow... bothers me. Because they kill." That was it. The end. She looked back at him, and closed her eyes for just a moment, before looking up at the canopy. "It's... pretty."
Xander listened carefully and he couldn’t help thinking back to the nightmares Buffy admitted too. It must be a warrior thing that he couldn't understand. Probably never would. His nightmares were still of the normal necked in math class variety, but then he hadn't seen half the things these strong beautiful women had. He hoped he never would. But that didn't scare him away either. He brought one hand up to her cheek and turned her face to look at him so she could see the...support in his eyes before he kissed her long and gently.
She closed her eyes tightly when they started to sting, so she wouldn't turn into a weeping ninny and make the whole thing get all backwards. She had seen that look in his eyes, right before he'd kissed her - and she poured herself into the kiss, the gratitude and how much he mattered to her, and how much she trusted him. Her hand had fisted on his shirt without her even thinking, returning the kiss.
After a few long moments, Xander pulled away though he kept their foreheads touching and his hand on her cheek. "Okay?" He asked simply. She didn't have to say anything else if she didn't want too and he wouldn't say anything if she didn't want him to. Simple as that.
Her eyes were damp, but she nodded. "None of them realized how lucky they were." She whispered it, staring into his eyes. That she could have something, and that it could be this - right and good... Good. Her fingers that didn't have his shirt in a death grip smoothed his cheek and jaw.
He could only stare back, not sure what to say to that. No one had ever said something like to him. Ever.
Jill didn't understand why he was staring at her like that, and she pulled back slightly. "Alright?"
Finally, he smiled. Brightly, sincerely and just...happy. "Yeah."
Jill visibly relaxed. "You scared me, a little." She was teasing, and leaned forward to kiss him again.
"Sorry." He muttered softly with a small chuckle against her lips, his arms hugging her close.
Jill laughed again, and relaxed, the small talk going on into the night until she fell asleep in his arms under the stars, actually relaxing for the first time in what seemed like weeks.
There were no nightmares.
For about the millionth time that day, Xander thanked god for having a gay father figure on the island. There as no way he’d have been able to pull off a dinner like this, even with a cookbook and the ingredients all done for him. There was fish, breaded in coconut, with fruit salad and even a small cake. It was simple, but oh so perfect for Valentines Day. He hoped Micheal had a good one after helping him with his. He'd set it up on rock by the beach that was flat like a table and covered with a tablecloth that the clothes box was kind enough to give him. It was covered in bright Hawaiian flowers but it still worked.
Now he just had to wait for her. He kept arranging the flowers on the make shift table. After Jill had told him that Bart had wanted the treehouse today, he'd wanted to make this really special. But he and Valentine's Day didn't exactly have the best track record so he just wanted everything to go smoothly, much less well.
Nervous. That's what she was. She was nervous, because she'd never done this. The Valentine's day, the... the boyfriend thing. Jill tucked back her hair yet again, and honestly felt a little ridiculous. She was in a dress - not overly dressy, just... pretty. Barefoot, because she didn't want to walk all that way in any sort of dress shoes, and she wasn't about to wear sneakers.
Not that it stopped her from thinking. Or worrying. She had a bundle - the oddest present, she was sure, but hopefully he'd like it. She hoped. She didn't even really know what they'd be doing, but she certainly couldn't go back to the tree house - not with Tim and Bart there and all. Her cheeks burned just as the dirt started turning to sand.
Xander sat cross legged next to the table, still gittery, but even more so when he looked up and saw her coming. He immediately stood up and brushed the sane off the nicer pair of jeans the box had offered up and a dark blue polo shirt that he thought was tight, but actually fit normally. Walking towards her, he gave her a bashful smile. "Hey....Happy Valentine's Day."
That was all it took for her cheeks to suffuse with color. "I- Happy Valentine's Day." She didn't know what to do with the bundle in her arms, but she leaned up to kiss him sweetly, unsure how to get it out of the way without dropping it. She hadn't actually noticed anything but him yet - Tim would have been disappointed in her observational skills. She was kind of occupied looking at him, and... well. Kissing him, however briefly.
It was a bit of relief when she kissed him as some of nerves seemed to drain away. When they pulled apart, Xander smiled at her and took her hand. "I made...well, really I helped Micheal make it...er dinner." He lead her towards the 'table' and motioned to a cushion on her side for her to sit on. "I uh figured you wouldn't want to get your dress sandy."
Jill's eyes widened, and she looked back up at him before her eyes flicked to the table. "Oh, Xander." She hadn't expected - well, honestly, she hadn't expected anything, because she hadn't really thought, but he'd- and he'd taken the time and thought about it, and- "This is just-" She smiled, dimples appearing in her cheeks. "This is smashing. Just absolutely." She leaned up to kiss his cheek again, not even sure if she wanted to sit down yet, because she'd have to let go of his hand - which she was kind of gripping tightly without realizing it.
Xander watched her expression like a hawk, his heart beating rapidly. The last time he'd done something for a girl on Valentine's Day, she'd broken up with him. Sure it had been for a whole other reason, but still. The fact that Jill liked it made a weight fall from his shoulder. "I'm glad you like it." He squeezed her hand back, as his relief showed on his features and in his voice.
"How could you think I wouldn't?" Jill looked back at him, her brows furrowing. She bit her lip, and then remembered, all of a sudden. "Oh! I- It's nothing like this, I just- I suppose I got something for you. It's nowhere near as..." Her eyes flicked to the table again, before she looked up. "But I- I hope you-" She cut off abruptly, and instead just handed him the bundle that seemed to be wrapped in a tablecloth, tied with twine. "Sorry about the wrapping. And all."
Unable to help he flush that came over him, Xander replied, "Valentine's and Me? Not so good history together, so I worried. But now I can say I'm not a complete failure at it." Then his smile turned to touched as he looked between the bundle Jill had handed him and her. "You didn't have too..." But his tone totally opposed his words. He carefully untied the twine and let the tablecloth fall away.
The stack of four gaudy Hawaiian shirts was folded neatly, and Jill knew at that moment that this was a horrible idea. What was she thinking? Clothes were something that your grandmother got you, and certainly not for Valentine's Day. "I- I know it's not much-" She'd thought that because he always complained about the dark clothes the box gave him, this might be a change - and he'd mentioned something offhandedly once, but...
As the shirts were revealed, Xander's entire face lit up. Sure, he'd gotten some non-Angel ish shirts from other people but these...these were perfect! Just like his ones from home. He immediately turned to Jill and gave her a soft kiss. "Thank you! These are awesome!"
Jill's eyes widened in surprise. "... I- They are?" She looked at them, then at Xander's face. "I mean. You're really sure?"
Xander's smile is so bright, it's almost splitting his face in two. "Yeah! These are just like I would have had at home!" He carefully sets them down before putting a hand around her waist so he could pull her close and give her a proper thank you kiss.
Jill flushed, leaning up on her tiptoes in the sand. Her hand skimmed up his chest to his shoulder, and she honestly thought that this was very nice indeed, but-
Food.
"Don't wanna stop kissing you," she murmured against his lips as she pulled away. "But... there's food." And it smelled terribly good, and was making Jill's stomach rumble.
It took Xander a moment to register what she had said because the kissage? Very very nice. He blinked for a moment then seemed to remember in an instant. "Food! Right yes, I doubt Micheal would be happy with me if I begged and pleaded for his help and we didn't eat it." Kissing her gently on the cheek, he moved around to sit on the other side of the table and began portioning out the fish on the plates he'd borrowed from the kitchen.
She sat - not quite as gracefully as she'd hoped too, but still, she sat. So that was something. She shook her head slightly, and her eyes flicked back up to Xander. "This... this is just..." She trailed off. "Nobody's ever cooked for me, before. I mean, my Mum's made dinner, but that doesn't count."
Xander blushed slightly. "Well, like I said, I only helped. But I wanted this to be special and everything and well, since I can't really take you out anywhere, this is the next best thing. I guess anyway." He just kinda of rambled on as he cut and served the fish, adding the fruit salad before handing her a plate.
"This is better then you taking me out." Jill smiled, taking the plate. "This... you actually... thought about it, I suppose?" She delicately took a bite of the fish, and her eyes widened. "Ishgood." She swallowed, then blushed redder. "Sorry, it's just... really good."
"I'll make sure and tell Micheal." Xander said, still blushing and looking down at his food, not used to all the praise, though he was still smiling. "I was hoping you'd like fish, I'm not much of a pork person myself.”
Jill looked down at her plate. "I... don't eat a lot of meat. Fish is good. I... I can eat things that are processed." She didn't elaborate, taking a bite instead before drastically changing the subject. "Thank you. For tonight, I mean. I don't know where else I'd be."
Thankfully, Xander was from Sunnydale and knew when to take a hint on stuff like that. "Hey, it's night for doing couply things, made especially for it even. Where else would I want to be?"
Jill shrugged, chewing before she swallowed. "I don't know. I... Some people don't spend time together, I suppose." But this was better. And nice.
"Well we aren't some people." He teased lightly before taking a bite of fish, grinning as he looked at her through his bang.
Jill smiled, and continued to eat, making small talk as she finished her fish and the fruit salad. "I got a new bow from the island. And a load of arrows and things." She didn't sound quite as happy about this as it warranted, but she took a sip of her drink.
To which Xander picked up on since he knew how much she loved her archery practice. "This is of the good right?"
Jill looked up. "Hrm? Oh, of course it is." She paused, and licked her lips. "It... It's just-" She looked down at the table, her brows furrowing again for a moment. "They're... they belong to someone back... home, for Bart and Tim. They said it... fit, for me to have them." She shrugged, not... not really wanting to bring up why it bothered her. Not on Valentine's Day. He didn't need to know- He didn't need to know that the Arrows were apparently separate from everyone else because they killed and were able to live with it.
He could sense her unease but of course for the wrong reason. "That must be kinda weird, getting something that belong to someone else." He said sympathetically.
Jill pressed her lips together. "I- It's not... that." She swallowed hard. "I think it's all new, but it's just... his... kind of things. I don't know." Her eyes flicked up to his. "... Uhm-" She had to fins something else to say. "At least it makes more sense then last years. I love my horse, but... I still don't know why I got her."
Xander frowned for a moment as he tried to puzzle out what she was saying. His kind of things? Were they not the right kind of arrows? Were their different kinds? He didn't know anything about weapons except what Giles had taught them that summer Buffy had disappeared. "Are you going to use the arrows and stuff? Isn't that all that matters?" Then his eyes lit up. "A horse? Really? That's so cool!" He blushed. "Sorry, this is coming from a kid who was never allowed to have a pet."
Thank Goodness. Jill grabbed onto the fact that there was something else to talk about. She nodded, smiling. "She's... she's a good horse. You could ride her, if you wanted? Or just... see her?" She honestly was good. Just... Jill didn't quite know what to do with her.
”Really? I'd like that. To see her, I mean. I'd like my bones to stay unbroken and me and a horse? Don't see that working out too well." He knew she had to be thinking how immature he had to be to get excited over a horse but he was! Because it was cool!
She wasn't thinking that at all - just that she was thankful he'd let the other things drop. "She's very gentle. Maybe after you've known her for a bit, you could give it a try?" She smiled, reaching across the table to brush some of the hair from his face without thinking.
"Maybe. You'd have to teach me, I've never even been on those pony rides they always had at the fair. Willow always felt sorry for the ponies so we never did it." He rambled to distract from the blush that covered his cheeks when she touched his face gently like that.
Jill tilted her head to the side. "You miss her." She flushed. "I mean, of course you do, it's just... your voice changes when you talk about her."
Xander couldn't help the fond expression that came over him. "Yeah...this is the longest I haven't talked to her since we were five and I stole her Barbie. She's my best friend, practically my sister. My other half you know? In a completely platonic way of course." Which just made him blush again as he was reminded of The Mistake but still, it was the truth.
Jill nodded, slightly. "I hope-" She tried to find the right way to word it. "That you see her again." She didn't know if that meant he'd be gone, or if Willow would be here, but... she'd never seen him talk quite like that about anyone. "She's very lucky to have a friend like you."
"Me too." And Xander did. Oh did he. It was nice having Buffy here, but he needed his Willow. There was no doubt about that. Then he ducked his head bashfully. "I guess. I always considered myself the lucky one."
Jill spoke softly, looking down at the tablecloth. "That's part of what makes you special." She looked back up, and inhaled, feeling so incredibly awkward. "Cake?"
Xander just kind of looked at her in wonder, having no idea what to say in response to that. Finally he just nodded. "Umm...yeah okay." He shuffled some of the plates out of the way and onto a nearby rock before bringing out two new plates for the dessert he'd placed in the middle of the table.
She was rather resolutely examining the tablecloth, the confession making her... nervous, of sorts. "Here. Let me?" He'd all but served her dinner, the least she could do was get desert.
Xander just nodded and handed over the knife he was going to use to cut the cake. "Its pineapple, I hope that's okay."
Jill laughed. "If it wasn't, I don't quite know how I'd survive here." She cut it carefully, getting him a piece before getting one for herself. "I feel like I should thank you again, for some reason, but I think you'd make a face at me."
Teasingly, he made said face just because she'd said that, then burst out laughing. "I should thank you for coming. I mean really, last time I did something for a girl on Valentine's Day, she broke up with me. The fact you came? Totally ahead in my book."
Jill blinked. ".... She- But why?" She'd actually stopped with her fork halfway to her mouth, and she was looking at him kind of like he was crazy.
Xander actually smiled. "It's a long story. But I don't blame her for it and we ended up getting back together." He really didn't need Jill to know exactly what happened...
Jill took the bite of her cake, her brows rising from how good it was. She licked her lips, and knew she was getting in trouble just by asking this. "Do you miss her, too?"
Thinking for a minute, Xander nodded. "Yeah, I mean, she was my friend. But do I miss her like I miss Willow? Not even close." His voice told all the difference as he spoke about the two women.
"Do you wish she was here, too?" Jill had gotten strangely... quiet. It wasn't that she was jealous, it was just... maybe he was... happier. With her.
"Cordelia?" Then he sensed where this was going. "No, one because she'd be miserable with no shopping and two, well, let's just say, we had fun in high school, but really, we weren't cut out for each other." It was putting it mildly but still, it worked.
Jill nodded just slightly, her own thoughts bothering her. What should it matter if he did? "This is really good, Xander." She bit the inside of her lip for a moment. Now... now wasn't a good time to ask him if he'd rather be home, either. She just... kept coming up with bad things. "After this, do you want to maybe go for a walk, just kind of talk some more?"
He paused in the middle of taking a bite to look at her. Something was bothering but he had no idea what. She hadn't been this tense when they were talking about Willow, why now about Cordelia? "Sure, I'd like that. I Umm...I have another surprise for you actually and we gotta walk there anyway."
Jill blinked, her eyes widening. "What? You- I mean- You didn't have too-" She was stammering now, not even quite sure what to say.
Xander ducked his head bashfully again. "It's well...you'll see." He took another bite of cake to stop himself from saying anymore
She felt- she should have done more. She didn't know if he'd been going to do anything at all, and- "Alright." The word seemed perfectly normal, and she set herself on finishing her cake. That? Was safe. And didn't involve her talking.
Once they were finished , he cleaned up all the dishes and extra food and put them away in a box to be taken back to the compound. Then he stood up, brushed the sand off his pants and held out his hand to her with a grin. "Come on."
She stood carefully so she didn't step on the hem of her dress, and then slipped her hand into his. "You really didn't have to do anything else." She said it softly, just... to make sure he knew.
"I know." Xander bit his lip as he look down at his feet bashfully before looking over at her. "I want too."
Jill nodded, then, not quite knowing what else to do. "Show me?" She said it softly, so he wouldn't think she didn't want it - it wasn't that at all.
Xander just smiled, squeezed her hand and led her down the beach.
Jill stopped, and tugged him to a stop, too, sucking in a deep breath. "Xander?" She looked up at him, and her thumb brushed his wrist. "I- Even if I say the wrong thing - I'm just worrying about... me, I guess. You're amazing. And tonight's brilliant. I just wanted you to know."
And that brought on a full fledge blush. It took Xander a moment to find his voice. "Your not doing anything wrong Jill. Believe me." He paused, ducking his head again before adding, "I only did all this because your amazing too."
Jill stopped dead for what had to be the third time tonight, before she paused. "... I- We can go." She didn't let go of his hand, her lip tugged between her teeth.
Xander only nodded and led on. Finally they came to a point in the shore where the trees came down almost to the water at high tide. There, he'd set up a canopy of the same bright color fabric that the table cloth had been in and cushioned the floor with a couple comforters, also in bright colors from the box. He flushed slightly, unable to look at Jill as he spoke. "You said that Bart wanted the tree house all night so I thought, you know, you'd need somewhere to stay tonight..."
All he heard from her was a soft inhale, almost a gasp, as she stood and looked at... this. That he'd put so much effort- "Oh..." The word escaped on the exhale of air, not even looking at him yet.
Fidgeting when she didn't say anything, Xander brought his other hand up to rub the back of his neck. "I realize it's no that private or anything but I thought, for one night it wouldn't be bad..."
Jill shook her head. "No, Xander-" She finally was able to look at him instead of the... ... what he'd done. "This- I- I never thought- it's so sweet." She'd never had anyone do anything like this for her. Because of her. He'd done this because of her. Because... he'd wanted too. "This... it's-" It defied description. More then.
He couldn't help breathing a small sigh of relief since she seemed to like it, though her reaction was still puzzling him. Trying not to think about it, Xander kicked off his shoes and moved to sit down, pulling her with him. "Here, come try it out." She seemed to be stuck so maybe giving her another opening would help?
She didn't even pause before she sank down with him, and then slipped her arms around his neck, hugging him as tight as she could, her face against his neck. She didn't really know what to say, besides... that this was more then she'd ever thought... more. It was just more.
While he didn't hesitate in wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her close, Xander wasn't sure what else to do. So he kissed the top of her head and just held her.
"No one's ever done anything like this for me." She whispered it against his neck, still curled close. "None of it."
Oh. Xander bit his lip. "I'm glad I could then."
"I-" She didn't know how to put it into words. She smoothed his hair without conscious thought, taking solace from the way it slid between her fingers. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I... I keep thinking of things I should tell you, but not now. Not when it'll ruin this."
"I doubt whatever you have to say could ruin this Jill." He said confidently, looking at her with as much fondness as he could muster.
Something flickered in her eyes, and she leaned up and just kissed him once, before sitting back with her face back against his neck. "I don't. Doubt it, I mean. It's... perfect the way it is."
"Okay." Xander said gently with a soft smile and just held her closer. "Do...do you want me to stay with you? Tonight?" He got flustered for a moment. "Just to sleep, ya know?" That was the last thing he needed, for her to think he'd down all this for sex, which he so wasn't. Especially after she'd just called this perfect.
Jill nodded. "I- I sleep better when there's someone-" She flushed, then, too. "When it was so cold, we all- for warmth, I mean. It just- It helps with the nightmares." She didn't realize that she'd not really explained that in detail, either. "If- If you don't mind?"
"I offered didn't I?" He replied with a soft smile and hugged her a bit harder. He wasn't going to question the reasons; she'd tell him when she was ready.
She smiled, and leaned up to kiss him, her lips slow and full of sweetness. "I- I should tell you. So you know. I mean, about... them. The nightmares." If he was going to be sleeping here - he had to know why.
"Jill, if you don't want to tell me right now, that's fine." He glanced around the canopy, which he'd called perfect and he didn't want her to be upset after such a nice day.
Jill shook her head slightly. "Just- Just so you know. If I wake up." She ran her thumb over his cheek, her eyes clear - not upset, just... needing. Needing him to know this, so if she fell apart- ... So she could be alright, and not scare him. Not have to worry about scaring him.
Seeming to understand how important this was, he met her gaze and nodded. "Alright."
Jill sucked in a breath, and said the words in a rush so that they could move on. "When I was in Narnia- I told you there was a war. I- I fought in it. On the losing side. And- And I still have nightmares, because- When you're in war-" Something flickered in her eyes, but she kept going. "You have to do what you have to survive. To help the greater good. And I... killed. People. And Beasts." Oddly, there was no flicker now; her eyes were as close as they could be to flat and dead. "And I still have nightmares about... then, and about some of the things I saw in the War." The Horses. "That's why I don't eat a lot of meat, and why being an... Arrow... bothers me. Because they kill." That was it. The end. She looked back at him, and closed her eyes for just a moment, before looking up at the canopy. "It's... pretty."
Xander listened carefully and he couldn’t help thinking back to the nightmares Buffy admitted too. It must be a warrior thing that he couldn't understand. Probably never would. His nightmares were still of the normal necked in math class variety, but then he hadn't seen half the things these strong beautiful women had. He hoped he never would. But that didn't scare him away either. He brought one hand up to her cheek and turned her face to look at him so she could see the...support in his eyes before he kissed her long and gently.
She closed her eyes tightly when they started to sting, so she wouldn't turn into a weeping ninny and make the whole thing get all backwards. She had seen that look in his eyes, right before he'd kissed her - and she poured herself into the kiss, the gratitude and how much he mattered to her, and how much she trusted him. Her hand had fisted on his shirt without her even thinking, returning the kiss.
After a few long moments, Xander pulled away though he kept their foreheads touching and his hand on her cheek. "Okay?" He asked simply. She didn't have to say anything else if she didn't want too and he wouldn't say anything if she didn't want him to. Simple as that.
Her eyes were damp, but she nodded. "None of them realized how lucky they were." She whispered it, staring into his eyes. That she could have something, and that it could be this - right and good... Good. Her fingers that didn't have his shirt in a death grip smoothed his cheek and jaw.
He could only stare back, not sure what to say to that. No one had ever said something like to him. Ever.
Jill didn't understand why he was staring at her like that, and she pulled back slightly. "Alright?"
Finally, he smiled. Brightly, sincerely and just...happy. "Yeah."
Jill visibly relaxed. "You scared me, a little." She was teasing, and leaned forward to kiss him again.
"Sorry." He muttered softly with a small chuckle against her lips, his arms hugging her close.
Jill laughed again, and relaxed, the small talk going on into the night until she fell asleep in his arms under the stars, actually relaxing for the first time in what seemed like weeks.
There were no nightmares.