In Paris Part 4 2 of 2 (Part 3 of 6)
[In Paris Part 4 2 of 2 (Part 3 of 6)]
“I’m so glad we could work this out, Justin, Gus has been so excited!” Lindsay exclaimed, untucking her hair from the back her jacket.
“It’s absolutely my pleasure! I’m sure we’ll have a great time. I’m not sure how much teaching I can offer beyond encouragement, but I’m looking forward to it!” Justin smiled. Lindsay’s house was so beautiful, he had a moment of wishing to stay in Pittsburgh because it actually meant he might afford a house like this one day.
“So, we’ll be back in about three hours tops. We’re sorry to leave you but Mel and I have been putting off lunch with this friend of ours forever. There’s food in the fridge, help yourself, here’s a list of his allergies and his epipen is in this bag along with band-aids, polysporin, and some pepto-bismol, he usually has a snack around 3:30, so I set aside some apple slices and goldfish crackers. Our numbers are on the fridge if you need anything, and I left Brian’s too in case my phone explodes or something. I left his jacket on the back of the kitchen chair in case it gets colder-”
“Lindsay, he’ll be fine” Melanie’s husky voice drifted in from the front hall. “Thanks again, Justin, it was nice to meet you.”
“You too, Mel!” Justin waved.
The afternoon was actually quite fun. Gus was just about the cutest kid Justin had ever met, and he really did love to draw. Gus whined until Justin agreed to take the arty party out to the backyard, and after he completed two commissions from Gus (a kitten and a power ranger), Gus had retired from drawing to go jump around in the leaf piles while Justin worked on the third request (drawing a shark body on the cat’s head).
Every few minutes, Gus said or did something that just seemed to scream out Brian’s influence on him. He was practically a mini carbon copy of Brian, except with bright blue eyes and an enormous smile that was on his face more often than not, which Justin had only seen once or twice on Brian, mostly when he was high. Brian had a kid. A fantastic, smart, funny little kid. His mind was still wrapping around that.
Justin leapt to his feet when he heard a scream that turned into a wail.
“What’s the matter, Gus??” He ran down to see where Gus had hurt himself. Gus didn’t form any words, but held up his arm toward Justin. There was a big red spot in the centre of his forearm that was swelling practically before Justin’s eyes. He picked Gus up and carried him into the kitchen.
“Okay, Gus, it looks like you got a bee sting. It’s gonna hurt for a second, but we’ll get some ice on it and you’ll feel-”
The blood froze in his veins as the thought hit him. He plunked the sobbing Gus into a chair and lunged for the list that Lindsay had left him.
"Oh God."
******
Brian tried calling back the number that had called him several times over his short drive to the grocery store. He was taken straight to voicemail, but, surprise, it belonged to none other than Justin Taylor. Part of Brian stirred with excitement, but he wouldn’t be caught being as eager as him. He’d wait for a voicemail or text and gauge from there.
It rang once more, and there was the tinkle of the voicemail a moment later.
“Brian, it’s Justin. Mel and Linds’ phones are going straight to voicemail. I’m with Gus on the way to UPMC, he’s having an allergic reaction. Please call me back when you c-”
The cashier must have been confused to see Brian sprint out of the grocery store through the wrong exit, leaving his half-full cart in the middle of the aisle.
Everything was a blur of panic and nausea. It took all of his concentration to drive to the hospital. His heart was pounding. He knew what could happen to Gus if he didn’t get his epipen immediately, he’d been briefed on it a million times, he didn’t even like to think about it, and had hoped he’d never have to again after the first time.
When he arrived at the hospital, Lindsay and Melanie were about twenty paces ahead of him, at the nurse’s station, and he followed them when they took off at a dash toward wherever the nurse had directed them.
Gus was sitting up in a bed, his face tear and snot-stained but seemingly alright, and a doctor was talking calmly to Mel and Linds. Justin stood in the corner, anxious.
“...could have been pretty dangerous, but luckily he got his epipen immediately and we were able to treat him right away. You’re pretty lucky, he knew exactly what to do.” he gestured to Justin who looked like he wanted to disappear. “He’s fine for the time being, we’ll hold him for a couple more hours, but he should be able to go home by tonight. I’ll have someone bring him some dinner, and I’ll be back in an hour or so to check up on him.”
As the doctor left, Lindsay started walking toward Justin. “Lindsay, I’m so so sorry, I didn’t-” Lindsay enveloped him in a giant hug.
“Thank you. Thank you. You saved his life” she whispered tearfully. Melanie rubbed her back. Justin was the first to notice Brian standing in the doorway. Lindsay turned to Brian, wiping her face.
“It’s ok, he’s alright. Justin did everything right, thank God.” Lindsay told him.
“I shouldn’t have let him play outside, I was so stupid-” Justin stuttered.
“We let him play outside all the time” Mel said warmly. “You think we built that swing set for ourselves?”
Justin laughed gently. “I’d better leave you guys alone.” He started to walk out the door as Mel and Linds descended on Gus. Brian followed him outside.
*****
“Justin.”
Justin turned to see Brian walking toward him down the hallway. He looked more spooked than Justin had ever seen him, and he could’ve sworn there was a glimmer of wetness in his eye, a clench in his jaw.
“Mel and Linds were on the subway apparently, I’m sorry-”
Brian swept him into an all-consuming embrace. The warmth of Brian’s shoulder met Justin’s cheek and took the breath right out of him. After a moment, he curled his arms around Brian’s waist and they stayed like that, their first real embrace in nearly six months.
“Thank you.” Brian mumbled into his hair. He was thankful for the solemnity of the moment that gave him the excuse to stay here.
“Of course” Justin said quietly. They could feel each other’s hearts pounding, still reeling from the panic. Brian reluctantly pulled away and his hands went to his back pockets. Justin crossed his arms across his chest. The image of casualty, the two of them.
“I can’t believe I let him run around the yard like that when he has a fucking bee allergy. I feel like such an idiot. I guess I probably won’t be looking after him anymore, huh?” Justin half-smirked.
“Are you serious? You’re gonna be the first person they call for the rest of your life. You better prepare yourself for that.”
Justin smiled. Brian shook his head, trying to clear the fog caused by that smile.
“You knew what to do, and you acted immediately” he continued. “Most people would have panicked and freaked out and he would be…”
Brian gazed fixedly at something on the wall behind Justin.
Justin cleared his throat.
“Well, I’ve been doing it to myself since I was about his age. I’m allergic to pretty much everything that’s good in the world. Penicillin, tylenol, codeine, shellfish, strawberries…”
Brian nodded. He found himself regretting pulling away from that hug. He stared as Justin’s voice trailed off, and Justin stared right back.
To Justin, the weight of everything seemed to increase the longer the silence stretched. He thought this could be either the most appropriate or the most inappropriate moment to tell him everything. And how he wanted to tell him. Absolutely everything.
After a moment, he opened his mouth to say, “I miss you.” But it came out as,
“I should go.”
He didn’t turn and walk away as someone who just said “I should go” normally would. There was no “reading into it too much”, no denying that their mutual stare spoke volumes. In Brian’s eyes, Justin saw the night sky from a balcony in Paris, heard softly spoken words in a hotel bed, felt his head against a clothed knee and Brian’s long fingers in his hair. He’d always thought it was stupid in movies, when a character says to someone “ I know you feel it too.” No, you don’t know that, and if they don’t, what an idiot you look like, he always thought. His opinion was quickly changing.
Brian broke eye contact, and it really felt like something physically breaking.
“Ok.” he said.
Justin nodded, and turned and walked away rapidly. He felt like he was walking against a gale of wind, but he did it, he walked all the way down the hall, into the elevator and out the door.
**********
Gus was blowing his nose into a tissue held by Mel when Brian came back in.
“Thank God, huh?” Lindsay sighed.
“No fucking kidding.” Brian shook his head. Mel shot him a look, and Brian raised his eyebrows at her.
“Apparently he’s had bad allergies all his life.” he continued. He swooped in when Mel got up to throw the tissue away, and sat on the edge of Gus’ bed.
“How ya feeling, sonny boy?” He placed a hand on his head.
“Sleepy.” Gus whispered.
“I bet. You had a pretty exciting day from the sounds of things.”
“Tell Daddy about all the other things you did today.” Lindsay suggested. Gus’ face lit up noticeably.
“Mama made cookies and I ate em and then she said I’d had enough!” Gus piped up.
“What else?” Lindsay pressed.
“I drew lots of pictures with Jussin. He drew pictures and then I drew the rest of them. And he drew me a power ranger and a cat shark.”
“Sounds like you made a friend, huh?” Mel said gently.
“Yah, Jussin is my friend. Can we go play with him more?”
“Maybe another day, Gus” Lindsay chuckled.
“He poked me with the pokey when the bee bit me, and it felt owie but then it went away and then the other owie went away and I got sleepy but I’m ok now.”
“Sounds like Justin is a pretty special guy, huh?” Lindsay said.
“Yup, he’s a purdy spuchel guy.” Gus agreed quietly.
Brian sighed, and quietly agreed. Lindsay absolutely caught it.