What to do...What to do.....
Well things have been kinda hectic around here this past week. I have been trying to take it easy until I am fully recovered from my excersion to Mass. I have so many emotions that i just dont know how to express, even writing doesnt seem to do it these days. I have this Kenny issue I am trying to deal with, I am not quite sure how I feel about him. I mean ido he is my best friend , but he still has all the lovey feelings for me and I told it aint like that no more, he said he is goin to workon it.I have been spending alot of time with him these days working on odd shit and cars of course, so it is like catching up on lost time or something I dont mind. And then this whole Victoria thing sprang up on me , I finally heard from her after no contact with her for 3 months and it is kinda taking its toll on me. I know she is happy where she is but I need her here so it doesnt quite work, ya know. I dunno anymore !!! I hate growing up....I have not seen much of anyone else lately so I dont know what is up with them, I know I have not wanted to be in public at all so I have been avoiding that at all costs and really the only people I have seen have been my family and Kenny since they know about everything and know what I am going thru, everyone else will just have to wait til i heal enough . I dont like having people worrying about me and asking a million questions so if i have to go without contact with that for a few weeks then so be it. Me and Kenny had a 5 hour conversation tonite which was really good, I cried alot and he was there for me I talked about everything i could think of and he seemed to have all the right answers , I needed a good talk with someone and he was just there at the right time i guess. I have been having some really fucked up dreams lately, alot are abou my future i think, and alot ar eabout things in my past it is kinda helpful it is helping me get over things in a way, things that i had pushed so far back in my mind that i almost forgot about them. Well I am extremely tired so I think I am gonna go sleep for another 12 hours..lol Thats one good thing about being sick you get to sleep alot :)So I will talk to you all later.