I just don't know.....
So tonight I talked to the Allstar (there is that better than ur name hehe im sorry) for a while, and I am still confused, I have a lot to ask but i'm afraid to ask. I don't know should we stop talking for a while so we can both think about exactly whaty we feel? I also talked on AIM to Alina tonight, she helped me see where my problem is... I now am convinced my main problem is a lack of feeling secure, I know I desire that more than anything in a relationship, idk how I will feel secure though because everytime i feel that way something goes wrong and I wish I had'nt felt how I did. Like I said I have so much to say to someone but I'm not going to say it in my journal because its personal things that frankly I don't trust many with knowing. All I can say Allstar is whatever you need to regain the trust you had in me, I will do it. We both have so much dirt on eachother and I swear no matter how un private i think somthing is I will not tell anyone anything again that we talk about by ourselfs. I know none of this is going in a way either of us saw in our future, I had my reasons for what I asked you at the dance its gonna take a while for me to tell you everything, as I sit here right now I know you don't know one important detail on my whole rational of presueing any of this beyond friends stuff. Anyways again thats only for my friend to know and noone else. Its amazing how much energy two people can spend trying to figure out whats in the future but the truth is no one can possibly know. Allstar we need to talk some time tomorrow. I got to tell you something thats kinda been bugging me since the nite i told you i liked you more than my best friend. Anyways I'll write more later hopefully both my and my friend's lives can get a little less drama in them, anywho bye...
Stephen
Stephen