Why?

[scoban]

Why am I constantly mocked behind my back by those I think I can trust? I hate always sticking up for people and being there for them and then they say, "Oh well, I need to leave; maybe some other time." Why is it I can always find the time to drop everything for their needs but when I need a friend they need to leave and do something else,

Comments

[glittergram]

can i ditto laura's comment?

no, ill just say it, because, well, i will.

ive always been there for you no matter what.

but oh wait, im *not* a brother, so that means that apparantly there are things that you just refuse to talk to me about even tho they bother the living piss outta you so much that you go and... fill in the blank.

and it hurts when you say no one is there to listen to you. and no one is there to help you do anything. don't i always offer? i don't *wait* for you to look for me to ask, i offer.

in fact, didn't i offer to help with computer lab and with recording.. ALL FUCKING SUMMER?? because i *know* that those are two things that give you a lot of stress that i knew i could help you with.. and then avoid that stress.

and what happens? two weeks into the semester, im not working in the lab (altho dan is), im not working with recording and ive gotten the short end of the stick smacked in my face because HEY LOOK, i'm not a brother.

my point is, you just want to be a friggin martyr and be under all this stress and just get all the friggin attention. you want people to pity you. you want everyone to think you're amazing because you do "all this work" while under "all this stress."

Half the work and half the stress you bring on ALL BY YOURSELF.

GROW UP.

i say this because i care about you as a human being, because id consider us really good friends for over a year, because we've done a lot of talking and heart to hearts and you are in my top five of people to go to when ive got a major, life threatening issue (parking lot of six brothers over summer for example) and ever since school started, you're up to your same old games and all this has accomplished is i've gotten shit on when i've offered my hand out to help you.

if i sound pissed, it's because i am. it's because you've obviously got problems on your hands and when people, like me, try and actually help you with them, what the fuck happens?

there are more people in this world with some issues just like you scott. you've got a disease. fine. i could have had fucking cancer. i could have been in the shit. and when i came back from the doctor's office when he told me that nothing they found inside of me was cancerous, i wanted to find you and give you a great big hug.

but i didn't because, you know, i'm not a brother.

[starlitxalestia]

Yeah, cuz you know, THAT really cheered him up, right?

Don't you think that if Scott wanted and was able to tell you stuff, he would if you guys are such close friends? Doesn't the fact that he's NOT telling you say something?

And this pissed me off the most...

"fine. i could have had fucking cancer. i could have been in the shit.

Almost having cancer doesn't mean you now have the right to USE IT AGAINST other people. That's just fucking wrong and it makes people feel like shit. You're making YOURSELF a martyr by constantly shoving it in peoples' faces. "Oh, poor me, I could've have cancer but you don't see me saying anything about it." BUT YOU FUCKING DO. Why don't YOU grow up already? Haven't you noticed that most people try to keep their shit to themselves because it's not meant to be spread around and used like that? People have worse problems than you, Anna, and they don't talk about them. Maybe it's because they're not so, oh I don't know, immature? You need to just get the fuck over yourself because guess what? The world doesn't revolve around Anna and everyone ISN'T out to get you.

[starlitxalestia]

And Scott I apologize profusely for using your LJ as a forum to say that, but someone had to say it.

[glittergram]

funny, i never thought anyone was out to get me.

guess i shouldve just sent scott a private email, telling him that an issue which i was crying about in his car over the summer (once? twice? i forget), got resolved with a good fucking outlook, and i really wanted to be able to share the moment with him.

[wolfpakwarlock]

Where do you get off? You sit there and ream Scott for not talking you you about frat stuff, while your about to go and pledge SAI? So your gonna go and spread their private info all over the music dept? You want to be in an organization that holds alot of secrets and you are willing to bitch people out for not telling you about theirs! Your a fucking hypocrite!

Scott is a good trustworthy person, something you obviously wouldn't know about. He's a great person who does alot, and if you bothered to read his earlier posts you would have heard him mention that all the extra work doesn't bother him. You have no compassion, no heart and I wouldnt trust you as far as I can throw you.

You sit here all high and mighty and throw your cancer scare in his face... What kind of a friend are you? How Tim stayed with you for so long is beyond me, cause I honestly don't kow anyone in this world that could love someone like that.

And there's another thing... you come into the music building every day and do NOTHING but bitch and moan and talk about your near run in with cancer. Well miiss attention whore: YOU DON'T HAVE CANCER! YOU CAN SHUT UP ABOUT IT NOW! And Tim, that poor goy's been dealing you for over a year and all you ever do in that dept is stare at a certain Sinfonian like he's a 3 course meal! Where's you sense of loyalty? Your pride? Oh that's right you gave that up for about 5 Theta Xi scroll numbers which you prouly listed your your dorm room wall! And now you feel you have the right to yell at Scott for not talking you you about matters that are NONE of your buisness because you feel perhaps that he doesn't trust you?

Well, I'm suprised he trust you as much as he does, cause the more you tell me the less I trust you. Because an 12y year old asian whore has more integrity than you do.

Scott, I hope everythings ok, I'm very sorry your LJ has become a bitchfest. Your a really good guy and you don't deserve getting bitched at like this because you decided to keep your pride intact. Infact, you have my respect for it.

Good luck man, and if you need to, call me.

[glittergram]

1. i will admit that there are certain things that i do and certain things that i say that conflict. however. i was personally involved the first time scott told me he couldn't discuss sinfonian things with me. and by personally involved i mean i was talking to walter at the time, scott got mad at him, walter and i were both saying the same things about the situation, and then *walter* got bitched out for it. and if i wasn't detaining walter at the time, scott would have been able to get walter's help. so excuse me if i want to be able to talk to a friend about a situation im involved in.

2. if the extra work doesn't bother him, why does he get stressed out about it? why is upset that peopel take advantage of him? ive offered to help him with these things so that he can get them accomplished and people dont bitch. has he ever taken me up on that offer? no.

2. cancer. it got mentioned in that first post because thats what i was talking to walter about when scott neeeded his help. and hey, if someone fucking told you that you could have cancer, you'd be really relieved to know that you don't. am i running around the department telling everyone that i dont have cancer? am i wearing a tshirt that says i dont have cancer? no. it just so happens that i talk to a lot of people and through the grapevine a lot of people had heard about it and had been asking me about it. you just happen to be around a lot when im talking about it.

3. dont even bring tim into this, its totally not related whatsoever. are you just looking for things to yell at me about?

4. how does theta xi and SEX have to do ANYTHING with a disagreement ive ever had with scott?

And finally. I tell Scott that he needs to grow up and stand up for himself because its something I *know* he can do if he just focused himself. ive got the same friggin ADD like personality.

And if you think that scott is a good guy, can you please stop joining in with making gay jokes about him? like how we were talking that one day, i believe it was a thursday and i was on my way to work. you don't call someone gay in an insulting fashion, even if you say they know you're joking. because no matter what, when it comes down to it, your adding to the problem, not helping to fix it. which is why i bitched at you for it then. what kind of a friend does that?

friends sometimes tell you things that you dont want to hear. beacuse its things that you need to hear. no one wants to hear that they're lazy sacks of shit that could only do well if they applied themselves, but they're too busy on the computer. which ive heard. to give an example, liz has been my mother a number of times, telling me shit like that. and i respect *her* for that. she doesn't tell me these things because she wants to tell me a new one, she tells me these things because she sees that im doing harm to myself and if i just stop ill be a much happier person. i love liz for that.

maybe i shouldn't have said things as bluntly as "GROW UP" in scott's livejournal. but someone has to say it. are we all going to bitch about how scotts in so much shit and scotts so stressed out and this and that and blahblahblah or are we actually going to be friends and try and help a friend out?

or should we just sit around and point out his faults and talk about how he could improve himself and then not actually do anything about it? oh wait, thats what you do. constantly. about montclair state.