Possession

[scitzoblondie]

So, I wish I understood the world a little more. Well, more likely..myself.

So, since I've been in sex in the city moods I would love to relate my life to that.

There are people that you love having sex with, get along wtih awesomely, but you don't want to show to your friends.

If you do, you act like you're in some way better than them. I believe I have become on the recieving end of that for once in my life, the person who gets fucked & not introduced.

Now, I understand Im not the most beautiful attractive person in the world, but goddamnitt, when I like someone & am not intent on making their life a living hell I'm a good person!

Now if I only meant that, I mean of course Im blah or whatever, but I guess I'm not worthy enough to show off, things like that.

Have I become a person who is awesome in bed but not awesome enough to show off & be like "Haha yay! Im dating them!"

I wish...gah! I need more will power, I need to go through with the things I want for myself, but I'm so damned lazy!

Well, I really want to change that, & I hope I can change that in myself...someone wanna help? Haha.