(no subject)
I've been back for a week now, and I've been wrestling all this time with how best to share my experience with you. I oringally though about doing a series of one-act plays over the course of a month but Naboo refused to play the part of a mermaid, and artistically I don't think it would be valid without a mermaid, so my dreams of returning to the stage were crushed. I then brielfy flirted with the idea of narrating my epic journey through the medium of blank verse, but Vince sat on my quill, so that was indeed the end of that. Finally, I decided to follow in the footsteps of Hemmingway and other such men of my ilk - adventurers, noble explorers of the human condition - and go for the bare bones, get right down to the heart of the matter.
4th October - I win a yacht.
4th October, later - I forbid Vince from leaping aboard in an electro-sailor's uniform.
10th October - I ponder whether to sell boat to pay off Naboo for all the rent we owe him.
11th October - see Mrs Gideon in Soho. She seems very impressed that I have a boat, even though she cannot remember who I am.
12th October - Decide not to sell boat. Decide to sail it around the world instead, as Mrs Gideon expressed a fondness for men of the oceans. At least I think that's what she was saying, inbetween asking me to get away from her property or she'll call the police.
13th October - slip away at midnight, set sail for the coast of France.
14th October to 14th December - oh, the things that happened to me. It was a test of a man's sanity, experiencing what I did out there in the midst of nature. I came into contact with mammals not seen by human eyes for decades; I lived amongst tribes in the deepest heart of the jungle, and was for a time revered as a jazz god in the Phillipines. I came to some shocking realisations about what it means to be human, the very nature of good and evil, and I also discovered that it is entirely possible to survive a storm simply by lashing oneself to the mast of the boat. I sunbathed with otters in Dubai, and I made snowmen with exiled nobility in... somewhere. I took all that the elements could throw at me, and I threw it all back into their wizened monkey faces. Eventually I ended up in Tangiers, and I lost my boat in a card game with the boss of the local Mafia. Luckily, he recognised that I am one of his kind of people, and Mr Santorini was kind enough to charter a plane for me to brink me back to the motherland. We exchanged Christmas cards, and his blonde wife was allowed to kiss me.
15th December - I return home. The only comments I receieve upon my return are "You're beard's disgusting," and "Gregg's been sleeping in your bed." Still. I know what you've done now, Naboo, so if you're not bothered about talking with me it saves me the trouble of having to pointedly ignore you.
Christy on a hammock, you would not believe how shiny the Christmas tree is. It's like being constantly vomited on by a crystal swan. I'm going to my room to lie down and ponder what is to become of me, now that I know so much of the way the world works. And no, Vince, I don't want you to come with me. Same goes for you, Gregg. I just want to be alone.
4th October - I win a yacht.
4th October, later - I forbid Vince from leaping aboard in an electro-sailor's uniform.
10th October - I ponder whether to sell boat to pay off Naboo for all the rent we owe him.
11th October - see Mrs Gideon in Soho. She seems very impressed that I have a boat, even though she cannot remember who I am.
12th October - Decide not to sell boat. Decide to sail it around the world instead, as Mrs Gideon expressed a fondness for men of the oceans. At least I think that's what she was saying, inbetween asking me to get away from her property or she'll call the police.
13th October - slip away at midnight, set sail for the coast of France.
14th October to 14th December - oh, the things that happened to me. It was a test of a man's sanity, experiencing what I did out there in the midst of nature. I came into contact with mammals not seen by human eyes for decades; I lived amongst tribes in the deepest heart of the jungle, and was for a time revered as a jazz god in the Phillipines. I came to some shocking realisations about what it means to be human, the very nature of good and evil, and I also discovered that it is entirely possible to survive a storm simply by lashing oneself to the mast of the boat. I sunbathed with otters in Dubai, and I made snowmen with exiled nobility in... somewhere. I took all that the elements could throw at me, and I threw it all back into their wizened monkey faces. Eventually I ended up in Tangiers, and I lost my boat in a card game with the boss of the local Mafia. Luckily, he recognised that I am one of his kind of people, and Mr Santorini was kind enough to charter a plane for me to brink me back to the motherland. We exchanged Christmas cards, and his blonde wife was allowed to kiss me.
15th December - I return home. The only comments I receieve upon my return are "You're beard's disgusting," and "Gregg's been sleeping in your bed." Still. I know what you've done now, Naboo, so if you're not bothered about talking with me it saves me the trouble of having to pointedly ignore you.
Christy on a hammock, you would not believe how shiny the Christmas tree is. It's like being constantly vomited on by a crystal swan. I'm going to my room to lie down and ponder what is to become of me, now that I know so much of the way the world works. And no, Vince, I don't want you to come with me. Same goes for you, Gregg. I just want to be alone.