(no subject)
Among everything else that's gone wrong in the current election season, seems to me the untold casualty will be a lot of friendships. The amount of stark naked fear people are flinging about - on both sides - is staggering. It's like the self-destructive panic of animals who maul their own littermates because that's all they can do when they're scared out of their wits.
And here I've been working the past four years to plug my ears against fear. To notice when I'm making decisions based on fear and say, "Hold up!" To let go of fear when it hits, to shake it off like rain, and meanwhile everybody else is determined to go swimming.
Is the United States in for a bad time? You know, I wonder if it matters so much at this point who wins and who doesn't. We are succumbing to the slow poison that bit into us in the days and months following 9/11, and which has since been fueled by war, by economic recession, by climate change, by our own dark natures and our unrelenting crusade to make things safe. I'm pretty sure that every last one of us is at fault, in some way, shape, or form. And I'm pretty sure we would not be here if we didn't listen to fear. Fear drives racism and classism and ignorance and smugness, hatred and lies and violence. It lurks in greed and apathy, gnawing. It urges us to pass law after law after law, and to break those laws without a second thought. And fear loves the blame game.
I'm not afraid. I mean, I'm frightened, because I'm a human being and that's just how it is, but there's fright which is a nerve-instinct-reaction thing, and there's fear which is a choice. And maybe I'm inventing definitions here, but the distinction exists and it needs a name.
I'm not afraid, but my heart is heavy and wow does it hurt. The scars in our collective psyche are not gonna heal easy. It's getting dark out there. God grant me the grace we're all gonna need, in spades.