(no subject)
My friend with the slightly-older-than-one-year-old child once told me how taxing it is as an extravert to be stuck at home with a preverbal child all day. The one person available to interact with doesn't communicate in your language, neither does she communicate at your level. I thought about that. It hadn't occurred to me that extraverts need feedback - coherent feedback - to get their daily dose of socialization. It's the give-and-take that they need. After I thought a moment, I said, "And if you're an introvert, you're never alone." She gave me a funny look and said that she had never thought of that.
Heh. You can't win, can you? At least, neither kind of mother has an advantage. Sounds fair to me.
See, we got to talking about introversion vs. extraversion, and I told her how introverts are made to feel weird and freakish because they seek alone-time. People think we're misanthropes or psychos or debilitatingly shy or otherwise maladjusted. When in fact, I quite like people, I love my friends and family, I function well enough in social situations (getting better, slowly), and I have been known to sing solos or even speak in front of large groups of strangers. I just need my alone-time. It helps me clear my head and emotions. It's refreshing.
But she pointed out that extraverts sometimes feel like they're codependent, because they need people. Not in a needy, follow-you-around-creepily way. They just need to talk, and share, and interact. They need the give-and-take. If I can lose my sense of self in a room full of people, they can lose theirs when on their own. Being alone lets my mind and imagination run free after getting roadblocked by a hundred different opinions; for an extravert, it might be that being alone leaves them running circles in a rut, and they need people to kick them into a new path.
Society seems to be telling us that we must be social enough to enjoy people at all times, but independent enough to never need them. That's a great big load of hooey. We should be social enough to be gracious when we'd rather be alone, or independent enough not to need constant stimulation. But the needs of either aren't bad. They're just there. If we need anything, it's the discernment to know when we've handled them right.
Heh. You can't win, can you? At least, neither kind of mother has an advantage. Sounds fair to me.
See, we got to talking about introversion vs. extraversion, and I told her how introverts are made to feel weird and freakish because they seek alone-time. People think we're misanthropes or psychos or debilitatingly shy or otherwise maladjusted. When in fact, I quite like people, I love my friends and family, I function well enough in social situations (getting better, slowly), and I have been known to sing solos or even speak in front of large groups of strangers. I just need my alone-time. It helps me clear my head and emotions. It's refreshing.
But she pointed out that extraverts sometimes feel like they're codependent, because they need people. Not in a needy, follow-you-around-creepily way. They just need to talk, and share, and interact. They need the give-and-take. If I can lose my sense of self in a room full of people, they can lose theirs when on their own. Being alone lets my mind and imagination run free after getting roadblocked by a hundred different opinions; for an extravert, it might be that being alone leaves them running circles in a rut, and they need people to kick them into a new path.
Society seems to be telling us that we must be social enough to enjoy people at all times, but independent enough to never need them. That's a great big load of hooey. We should be social enough to be gracious when we'd rather be alone, or independent enough not to need constant stimulation. But the needs of either aren't bad. They're just there. If we need anything, it's the discernment to know when we've handled them right.