Reviewer expectations and etiquette
Hi all:
My present problem is this: I met someone on the internet who is part of an indie band. After going to his site, I liked his CD and asked if I could review it. He sent me the CD. I did an interview with him and got it posted on www.blogcritics.com
I figure he gave me the CD to listen to and to review it. So I accomplished my part of the bargain.
Then, because
1) we had developed a kind of friendly acquaintance and
2) because I had seen his work and
3) because he spoke of faith (Mahatma Gandhi) and intangible stuff in life
I figured I'd send him to some of my writings around the web:
my blog www.darkparables.blogspot.com where I also talked about living life by faith (although I am a Christian and he is and American Hindu/Buddhist.
My angel story about an angel encounter I had when I was a kid.
http://geocities.com/scifiwritir/angelstory.html
Excerpt from the first chapter of my soon-to-be-published novel. http://www.carolemcdonnell.com/CMExcerpts.htm#WindFollower
He did not answer my email. Yet I emailed him about something else -- having to do with his album-- and he answered that email.
Now, I'll grant that we really had no bargain about him looking at MY work. I really am upset about this. I find myself saying "don't cross the line and become friends with anyone you're going to review." There is one zone...the public zone...and there is the social zone. He was someone I was doing a social thing for. He doesn't owe me to look at my writing. But I feel that etiquette demands that he at least should give a corresponding look at something I (another creative type) asked him to look at.
Also, I feel that when someone doesn't say anything about one's work, it's because they are trying to be polite because they hate one's writings.
Also, I feel as if there is some arrogance on his part. He talked all about his hindu-buddhist spirituality, yet I ask him to look at something we both had in common -- LIVING BY FAITH and because I'm a Christian he belittled what I had to say. Of course this is all my assumptions. But it does bug me that he hasn't answered.
So, should I be so upset? Should I wait a month or so for his commentary? Am I right to feel hurt? Or to expect some kind of give-and-take reciprocation? Do I have a right to be upset? Isn't it really my own assumption about etiquette that is getting my panties all in a bunch? Isn't it also my own assumption about why he hasn't answered me that is also upsetting me? Any comments?