Losing Sight
Title: Losing Sight
Author: ScifiRogue_Kane
Rating: FRT
Pairing: past tense Horatio/Speed, Speed/Eric, Horatio/Eric
Characters: Eric, Horatio, mentions of Speed, vague mentions of the rest of the team.
Content Warning: slash, cheating partners, mentions of canon character death, slightly au, abit OOC (I think)
Spoilers: set right after Lost Son
Summary: Eric didn’t know how to grieve. He didn’t even know if he had the right to.
Authors Notes: I’m BACK!! I know we recently found out that Speed's locker wasn't cleaned out but I liked the imagery.
They had closed the case, found and saved the little boy they had been looking for and now it would hit them, they had lost one of their own, Timothy Speedle was dead. Eric didn’t know how to handle this fact, while they had been looking for the boy he had a place to channel his emotions, he could push away, his grief, his anger and his guilt. While they were still looking for that boy Eric had been able to look Horatio in the eyes, but now, now that they were both forced to deal with Speed's death, he didn't know how to look at his boss. He felt like it was written all over his face, 'I was sleeping with your lover, I think he was going to leave you to be with me, and now he's dead, he died in your arms' and Eric didn't know what to say. So now he hovered in the doorway, watching as Horatio cleaned his lovers’ locker, watched as he hid all emotion, all pain away and tried to be strong. Eric didn't know how he could do it, he was still numb and that was al that kept him standing.
"Eric," Horatio's tired voice broke through Eric's haze. "Either leave or come closer, but either way, stop hovering. I'm not going to break apart." Of course he knew he was here, thankfully he had figured incorrectly about what caused the young man's hesitancy, but Eric should have known that his boss had sensed his presence. For a second he considered running, but he didn't.
"I just wanted to see if you need someone to go home with you." He didn't just say that. He hadn't just offered to go home with his dead lover's boyfriend, no. He was just helping a friend, after all they were both grieving for Tim, the man they both had loved.
Horatio looked at him for a moment, something unreadable crossing his face before he finally answered him. "Yes, actually I think I would." His voice was hard, filled with something that Eric didn't recognize. Frankly the young man was shocked that H had taken him up on his offer, his boss never asked for help and firmly believed on keeping his emotions private, especially from his team.
They left the building in an almost but not quite, tense silence that followed them all the way to H's house, both men lost in their thoughts and their pain. The silence only broken by H's occasional spoken direction for Eric. Eric was so lost in his thoughts that he was surprised when he saw that they had arrived at H's, and a little worried that he had next to no memory of the drive over. He watched as Horatio slid out of the vehicle, intending to just drop his boss off, so he was shocked when Horatio invited him inside, muttering something about a drink and not wanting to be alone. Again, Eric's instincts screamed at him to run, reminding him that he had slept with the man Horatio was grieving, that he had broken Horatio's trust, and definitely should not be the one comforting him. However he didn't listen to his instincts, driving into the garage, parking his vehicle and entering the building with H.
They entered, and H closed and locked the door behind them. It was a beautiful house, but Eric barely had time to begin taking in his surroundings when he was surprised by a punch to the jaw. Before he could recover H had him pinned against the wall.
"Did you think I didn't notice Eric?" Horatio's voice was deadly calm as he spoke. "Did you think I didn't know that you were fucking him?" He pushed Eric further into the wall, keeping him trapped like a fly on flypaper. "Did you think I wouldn't notice your scent on him? How you would occasionally leave your mark on him, which he would try to hide? Did you think I didn't know my lover?" Horatio punctuated each question by driving his arm further against Eric's neck, almost to the point of blocking his windpipe. Eric tried to get him let go, pushing against him, trying frantically to remove the pressure from his throat, but the emotionally distraught man was too strong. Just as he thought that he would pass out Horatio pulled away.
Eric just watched as the other man attempted to get himself under control again. Fury and pain still radiated off of him in waves. He didn’t know what to do; he should leave; now knowing that Horatio knew what he had done. He should leave before his boss tried to kill him again. However he couldn’t, he couldn’t because he wanted to fix the other man, wanted to fix himself, and he wanted to cling to whatever reminders that he had of the man that he loved.
“Is that why you wanted me to come here H? So you could kill me? Punish me for . . . what I did?” Although he started off with a voice full of anger and righteous indignation, it somehow faltered when the red head looked at him. Looked at him with those eyes filled with pain and anger and need. “I loved him too H. I lost him too!” He felt the anger rising in him again, the utter frustration at not being able to grieve for the person that he loved.
“And why did you come here Eric? For my forgiveness? My Permission to grieve?” The way Horatio spoke and moved reminded Eric of a wounded animal, the more Eric tried to help, the more Horatio would attack. But despite this there was something there. Something that made Eric stay where he was despite the fury of the other man.
“I came here for Tim!” The words were forced past his lips, colored by anger and guilt and pain. He wasn’t sure quite what happened next, just that he was forcibly pushed back against the wall, by Horatio, again. However this time the other man’s intent was not to choke, not to kill, but to reclaim, he kissed Eric with a full-out passion, attempting to find his lover again, to connect with the small part of Speed that was left. Eric kissed back with an equal fury, there was nothing gentle here, or loving and they both knew that it wasn’t about the other at all; they were both kissing a dead man. They were both drowning in his death and attempting to find a life raft in memory.
Author: ScifiRogue_Kane
Rating: FRT
Pairing: past tense Horatio/Speed, Speed/Eric, Horatio/Eric
Characters: Eric, Horatio, mentions of Speed, vague mentions of the rest of the team.
Content Warning: slash, cheating partners, mentions of canon character death, slightly au, abit OOC (I think)
Spoilers: set right after Lost Son
Summary: Eric didn’t know how to grieve. He didn’t even know if he had the right to.
Authors Notes: I’m BACK!! I know we recently found out that Speed's locker wasn't cleaned out but I liked the imagery.
They had closed the case, found and saved the little boy they had been looking for and now it would hit them, they had lost one of their own, Timothy Speedle was dead. Eric didn’t know how to handle this fact, while they had been looking for the boy he had a place to channel his emotions, he could push away, his grief, his anger and his guilt. While they were still looking for that boy Eric had been able to look Horatio in the eyes, but now, now that they were both forced to deal with Speed's death, he didn't know how to look at his boss. He felt like it was written all over his face, 'I was sleeping with your lover, I think he was going to leave you to be with me, and now he's dead, he died in your arms' and Eric didn't know what to say. So now he hovered in the doorway, watching as Horatio cleaned his lovers’ locker, watched as he hid all emotion, all pain away and tried to be strong. Eric didn't know how he could do it, he was still numb and that was al that kept him standing.
"Eric," Horatio's tired voice broke through Eric's haze. "Either leave or come closer, but either way, stop hovering. I'm not going to break apart." Of course he knew he was here, thankfully he had figured incorrectly about what caused the young man's hesitancy, but Eric should have known that his boss had sensed his presence. For a second he considered running, but he didn't.
"I just wanted to see if you need someone to go home with you." He didn't just say that. He hadn't just offered to go home with his dead lover's boyfriend, no. He was just helping a friend, after all they were both grieving for Tim, the man they both had loved.
Horatio looked at him for a moment, something unreadable crossing his face before he finally answered him. "Yes, actually I think I would." His voice was hard, filled with something that Eric didn't recognize. Frankly the young man was shocked that H had taken him up on his offer, his boss never asked for help and firmly believed on keeping his emotions private, especially from his team.
They left the building in an almost but not quite, tense silence that followed them all the way to H's house, both men lost in their thoughts and their pain. The silence only broken by H's occasional spoken direction for Eric. Eric was so lost in his thoughts that he was surprised when he saw that they had arrived at H's, and a little worried that he had next to no memory of the drive over. He watched as Horatio slid out of the vehicle, intending to just drop his boss off, so he was shocked when Horatio invited him inside, muttering something about a drink and not wanting to be alone. Again, Eric's instincts screamed at him to run, reminding him that he had slept with the man Horatio was grieving, that he had broken Horatio's trust, and definitely should not be the one comforting him. However he didn't listen to his instincts, driving into the garage, parking his vehicle and entering the building with H.
They entered, and H closed and locked the door behind them. It was a beautiful house, but Eric barely had time to begin taking in his surroundings when he was surprised by a punch to the jaw. Before he could recover H had him pinned against the wall.
"Did you think I didn't notice Eric?" Horatio's voice was deadly calm as he spoke. "Did you think I didn't know that you were fucking him?" He pushed Eric further into the wall, keeping him trapped like a fly on flypaper. "Did you think I wouldn't notice your scent on him? How you would occasionally leave your mark on him, which he would try to hide? Did you think I didn't know my lover?" Horatio punctuated each question by driving his arm further against Eric's neck, almost to the point of blocking his windpipe. Eric tried to get him let go, pushing against him, trying frantically to remove the pressure from his throat, but the emotionally distraught man was too strong. Just as he thought that he would pass out Horatio pulled away.
Eric just watched as the other man attempted to get himself under control again. Fury and pain still radiated off of him in waves. He didn’t know what to do; he should leave; now knowing that Horatio knew what he had done. He should leave before his boss tried to kill him again. However he couldn’t, he couldn’t because he wanted to fix the other man, wanted to fix himself, and he wanted to cling to whatever reminders that he had of the man that he loved.
“Is that why you wanted me to come here H? So you could kill me? Punish me for . . . what I did?” Although he started off with a voice full of anger and righteous indignation, it somehow faltered when the red head looked at him. Looked at him with those eyes filled with pain and anger and need. “I loved him too H. I lost him too!” He felt the anger rising in him again, the utter frustration at not being able to grieve for the person that he loved.
“And why did you come here Eric? For my forgiveness? My Permission to grieve?” The way Horatio spoke and moved reminded Eric of a wounded animal, the more Eric tried to help, the more Horatio would attack. But despite this there was something there. Something that made Eric stay where he was despite the fury of the other man.
“I came here for Tim!” The words were forced past his lips, colored by anger and guilt and pain. He wasn’t sure quite what happened next, just that he was forcibly pushed back against the wall, by Horatio, again. However this time the other man’s intent was not to choke, not to kill, but to reclaim, he kissed Eric with a full-out passion, attempting to find his lover again, to connect with the small part of Speed that was left. Eric kissed back with an equal fury, there was nothing gentle here, or loving and they both knew that it wasn’t about the other at all; they were both kissing a dead man. They were both drowning in his death and attempting to find a life raft in memory.