Metamorphoses
It hit me when Katie O'Brien said she liked my gladiators. The mere fact that I own a $95 pair of sandals just...it kinda pushed in my face how much I've changed this year. I'm a totally different person, with a new and awesome set of friends and...I like it.
I haven't lost the things that are essentially me. My passion for writing and love of all things science fiction and Victorian England won't go away anytime soon. But suddenly I'm going to the gym and buying shoes at Aldo and having a morning and evening routine involving makeup and straightening hair and face wash. Suddenly I'm going to parties and watching fashion reality shows and being my own person. It's a little frightening, but incredible.
Was this who I'm meant to be, or should I have stayed in Milwaukee and become one of the artsy UWM students sitting outside Beans and Barley with my molskein notebook drinking a sprecher root beer and eating a super burrito with no black olives? My friends from Milwaukee just kind of dissolved (with the exception of my boo Ashley) into the world with their own thing and their own lives, but then again so did I.
I came out here and first semester was hell in a bag. The stress, and me trying to cling to my old group from halfway across the country and realizing that it just wasn't going to happen. Me wanting to be the old Milwaukee self that just wouldn't work out here in Boston. But then I started actually hanging out with Julie, Katie and Brittany...having fun and going out and being vindictive bitches when we wanted to be, and everything got so much better. I love my friends, I love my life, I love that people actually respect me in a way that I realize my friends back home didn't really do. (The fact that people here listen when I get angry instead of laughing at me...)
I'm going to come home and things won't make sense. It's going to be so weird and by the time I get used to it again I'm going to be coming out here.
I hate being stuck in limbo like this.
I haven't lost the things that are essentially me. My passion for writing and love of all things science fiction and Victorian England won't go away anytime soon. But suddenly I'm going to the gym and buying shoes at Aldo and having a morning and evening routine involving makeup and straightening hair and face wash. Suddenly I'm going to parties and watching fashion reality shows and being my own person. It's a little frightening, but incredible.
Was this who I'm meant to be, or should I have stayed in Milwaukee and become one of the artsy UWM students sitting outside Beans and Barley with my molskein notebook drinking a sprecher root beer and eating a super burrito with no black olives? My friends from Milwaukee just kind of dissolved (with the exception of my boo Ashley) into the world with their own thing and their own lives, but then again so did I.
I came out here and first semester was hell in a bag. The stress, and me trying to cling to my old group from halfway across the country and realizing that it just wasn't going to happen. Me wanting to be the old Milwaukee self that just wouldn't work out here in Boston. But then I started actually hanging out with Julie, Katie and Brittany...having fun and going out and being vindictive bitches when we wanted to be, and everything got so much better. I love my friends, I love my life, I love that people actually respect me in a way that I realize my friends back home didn't really do. (The fact that people here listen when I get angry instead of laughing at me...)
I'm going to come home and things won't make sense. It's going to be so weird and by the time I get used to it again I'm going to be coming out here.
I hate being stuck in limbo like this.