BSG FIclet : Living With the Burn Kara/Sam
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Its the thing that's hardest now even though it shouldn't be they've spent enough time apart that it should be easier. She hates waking up alone, she can go to bed fine but for some reason getting up kills her. she finds herself lying there staring at ceiling in her rack trying to remember why getting up mattered at all. After all even if they find a planet to live on what point is there? The old plans for a cabin scribbled on a bar napkin are useless there's no point in building a home for a family she's never going to have. She has nothing, nothing to do but fight until some cocky raider takes her out. The lights come on and she moves gets up because she has to, showers in an attempt to feel warm and does her job because its all she has left. Then she goes and talks to him remembering all the conversations before, and remembers when they stood under the sun and laughed and the future was something almost tangible. She never had that with anyone else with the others it was always about the immediate goal never the forever one. With Sam on New Caprica she had that happy shiny picture of what her life would be they would grow old and sit on the porch they built. It was as dull as paste but it was everything she wanted, safety, a home she made, a family of her own. When New Caprica was gone they simply moved their plans to Earth and now where ever they happened to end up, now she has no plan so she talks to him, trying to find a new one. Cottle throws her out telling her she needs to move on with her life. What life? she think so she goes to the bar to stop thinking. She lights a cigarette not to smoke it but to remember the smell. Its funny before him cigarettes reminded her of her mother, now she watches it burn and the smell reminds her of him. Its a constant cycle she tries to stop remembering but memories are all that keep her moving. The booze takes its effect and she heads to bed the smell of cigarette making it seem like he is close.
Its the thing that's hardest now even though it shouldn't be they've spent enough time apart that it should be easier. She hates waking up alone, she can go to bed fine but for some reason getting up kills her. she finds herself lying there staring at ceiling in her rack trying to remember why getting up mattered at all. After all even if they find a planet to live on what point is there? The old plans for a cabin scribbled on a bar napkin are useless there's no point in building a home for a family she's never going to have. She has nothing, nothing to do but fight until some cocky raider takes her out. The lights come on and she moves gets up because she has to, showers in an attempt to feel warm and does her job because its all she has left. Then she goes and talks to him remembering all the conversations before, and remembers when they stood under the sun and laughed and the future was something almost tangible. She never had that with anyone else with the others it was always about the immediate goal never the forever one. With Sam on New Caprica she had that happy shiny picture of what her life would be they would grow old and sit on the porch they built. It was as dull as paste but it was everything she wanted, safety, a home she made, a family of her own. When New Caprica was gone they simply moved their plans to Earth and now where ever they happened to end up, now she has no plan so she talks to him, trying to find a new one. Cottle throws her out telling her she needs to move on with her life. What life? she think so she goes to the bar to stop thinking. She lights a cigarette not to smoke it but to remember the smell. Its funny before him cigarettes reminded her of her mother, now she watches it burn and the smell reminds her of him. Its a constant cycle she tries to stop remembering but memories are all that keep her moving. The booze takes its effect and she heads to bed the smell of cigarette making it seem like he is close.