One Foot in Front of th Other
Note: this story is a remix of Double Talk by frolicndetour
Disclaimer: not mine don't sue
Sam's head still throbbed from where he'd been hit over the head with a pistol but he had something he needed to do. He needed to her, he needed to be sure she was real. Sam opened the door to Roslin's office, and everyone in the room looked at him. Adama looked angry, and Sam took about half a second to try and figure out why before deciding to worry about it later. Tory looked at him expectantly. When he didn't meet her in the eye, she looked away. Roslin simply smiled at him in that cold, placating way she had, and said "Hello, Sam."
Gods, she was cold. It almost shocked him to think this was the kindly school teacher who had helped him with his stint on the people's council and later the resistance. "I just wanted to find out when I would be able to see my wife," he questioned.
The Admiral glared at him. "And I was wondering how you let her get past and pull this stunt," he barked.
"What should I have done? Shot her?" Sam fired back. He was annoyed but not surprised that Kara's actions had somehow become his fault in the admiral's eyes. Adama liked to think of Kara as perfect, and since she was anything but, it required a fair amount of denial.
"Sam, we are simply trying to limit Kara's contact with others. There is an inherent security risk in her speaking with anyone," Laura informed him. Sam almost laughed out loud. For once, Roslin's paranoia was well founded. If Kara really was a cylon agent, he would be the perfect contact seeing as he was a cylon himself. The urge to laugh was almost hysterically strong. He felt like blurting out everything and letting them throw him in the cell with her. Luckily, his self preservation instincts kicked in and he took a more logical approach.
"Not to mention, the risk in her escaping custody" Adama snarled. Sam didn't know wether he wanted to hit him or laugh, he was so dead set on being impossible for the sake of it, he was reminding him of Kara.
"Kara is my wife. a few hours ago I thought she was dead and I'd never see her again, I would think why I want to see her would be obvious he said through gritted teeth.
"I understand, Sam," Laura said placatingly. "My concern is that whatever's in that cell may not be your wife."
Roslin was supposed to be ill, but she looked as resolute as Sam had ever seen her. He stopped pacing and studied her. She wasn't going to budge, not unless he pushed her. "You owe me," he said simply. "I am asking you for a favor. I would think, given our history, you would be willing to help me."
"Sam, I wish I could," she started, but she faltered as she got to the end of her sentence. She looked at him questioningly, like she wasn't sure what he was getting at so Sam decided to spell it out further.
"After New Caprica..." As soon as he said those two words, he knew she understood. It was a secret they all had buried there, but he was willing to dig it up now if it meant getting to see Kara. "And given everything I did for you there and have done since, I would think I am not asking for much."
Laura sat down and Sam thought for a moment that he might have won. She looked beaten though, and Sam felt a bit guilty. This was Laura and whatever else she might be, she had once been his friend.
"Fine," she said, briskly sitting up straight again. "As long as the admiral doesn't object, you may see the prisoner.... whenever." She finished with a wave of her hand. "Though I thought you understood that everything we did together was for the greater good rather than for personal gain."
Sam winced, but he felt his sympathy wane slightly. "The political game was always a little too murky for me. That's why I got out. Pyramid suits me much better, don't you think?†he said kindly. He wanted her to know he hadn't done this to hurt her.
"I always thought you showed a lot of promise, even though I didn't always agree with you," Laura said coldly, obviously not wanting to let him off the hook that easily.
"I learned from the best," he said, trying to charm his way back into her good graces. She gave him a small wintry smile and then turned to Tory and asked her to escort him to the brig with a note of permission. On his way out, he couldn't help but notice how small and frail she looked.
*************
The two of them walked in silence for several minutes. Neither knew what to say. Sam finally broke the silence. "You don't have to walk with me. I can take the note myself."
"It's fine," Tory said quietly.
"I just want to say...." Sam trailed off. "I don't know what I want to say, but I need to be with Kara right now."
It was the last thing Tory wanted to hear. Their relationship, complicated as it was, was the only part of her life that made sense right now. She didn't want to be one of those girls who always needed a man to feel safe so she replied, "It's fine. I understand."
Something bothered her though. "It doesn't change anything? Everything that's happened, I mean?" she asked.
Sam paused, then answered, "No. I mean, it all still feels the same."
Tory pushed. She wanted answers, and it seemed like he might have some. "Isn't that the whole point of sleepers, though? That everything is the same and then one day you wake up and the whole world is different?"
Sam took a puff of his cigarette. "I think different is in the eye of the beholder. To me, Kara is still the same person I knew when she went into that storm. That's what counts."
Tory almost let it go, but part of her couldn't. "How do you know that though? If Kara isn't human, what is she? If she is a person the same as you and I, what does that mean?" Even Tory wasn't sure just who she was talking about now.
Sam turned and faced her. He looked her in the eyes for the first time that night. "I don't know anything right now, but I know that I love Kara and I have faith that she loves me too. It's not much, but its the only thing that makes sense right now. I have to follow that. I know it's not a great answer, but it's the best I've got."
Tory nodded, pretending to understand. She turned away from him then and stayed in front of him the rest of the silent trip to the brig.
***************
Kara paced in her cage. She was restless. She kept reviewing her conversation with the admiral. It sucked a little more every time. She saw someone at the door, talking to the guards, and she steeled (stalled?) herself. Sam walked through the door. She relaxed and almost smiled. She should have know he wouldn't be able to stay away. He didn't smile however. He almost looked pissed off. She should have known he'd be mad about what she had done, but he was here and that said a lot. "Hey," she said, trying to gauge his mood.
He simply walked over and wrapped his arms around her. She reached up and did the same. It was the most real anything had felt since she'd been back. Now she was home. They stayed that way for a long time. It wasn't until later that she would realize that the fact he hadn't wanted to talk was a sign of how much he had changed.
Disclaimer: not mine don't sue
Sam's head still throbbed from where he'd been hit over the head with a pistol but he had something he needed to do. He needed to her, he needed to be sure she was real. Sam opened the door to Roslin's office, and everyone in the room looked at him. Adama looked angry, and Sam took about half a second to try and figure out why before deciding to worry about it later. Tory looked at him expectantly. When he didn't meet her in the eye, she looked away. Roslin simply smiled at him in that cold, placating way she had, and said "Hello, Sam."
Gods, she was cold. It almost shocked him to think this was the kindly school teacher who had helped him with his stint on the people's council and later the resistance. "I just wanted to find out when I would be able to see my wife," he questioned.
The Admiral glared at him. "And I was wondering how you let her get past and pull this stunt," he barked.
"What should I have done? Shot her?" Sam fired back. He was annoyed but not surprised that Kara's actions had somehow become his fault in the admiral's eyes. Adama liked to think of Kara as perfect, and since she was anything but, it required a fair amount of denial.
"Sam, we are simply trying to limit Kara's contact with others. There is an inherent security risk in her speaking with anyone," Laura informed him. Sam almost laughed out loud. For once, Roslin's paranoia was well founded. If Kara really was a cylon agent, he would be the perfect contact seeing as he was a cylon himself. The urge to laugh was almost hysterically strong. He felt like blurting out everything and letting them throw him in the cell with her. Luckily, his self preservation instincts kicked in and he took a more logical approach.
"Not to mention, the risk in her escaping custody" Adama snarled. Sam didn't know wether he wanted to hit him or laugh, he was so dead set on being impossible for the sake of it, he was reminding him of Kara.
"Kara is my wife. a few hours ago I thought she was dead and I'd never see her again, I would think why I want to see her would be obvious he said through gritted teeth.
"I understand, Sam," Laura said placatingly. "My concern is that whatever's in that cell may not be your wife."
Roslin was supposed to be ill, but she looked as resolute as Sam had ever seen her. He stopped pacing and studied her. She wasn't going to budge, not unless he pushed her. "You owe me," he said simply. "I am asking you for a favor. I would think, given our history, you would be willing to help me."
"Sam, I wish I could," she started, but she faltered as she got to the end of her sentence. She looked at him questioningly, like she wasn't sure what he was getting at so Sam decided to spell it out further.
"After New Caprica..." As soon as he said those two words, he knew she understood. It was a secret they all had buried there, but he was willing to dig it up now if it meant getting to see Kara. "And given everything I did for you there and have done since, I would think I am not asking for much."
Laura sat down and Sam thought for a moment that he might have won. She looked beaten though, and Sam felt a bit guilty. This was Laura and whatever else she might be, she had once been his friend.
"Fine," she said, briskly sitting up straight again. "As long as the admiral doesn't object, you may see the prisoner.... whenever." She finished with a wave of her hand. "Though I thought you understood that everything we did together was for the greater good rather than for personal gain."
Sam winced, but he felt his sympathy wane slightly. "The political game was always a little too murky for me. That's why I got out. Pyramid suits me much better, don't you think?†he said kindly. He wanted her to know he hadn't done this to hurt her.
"I always thought you showed a lot of promise, even though I didn't always agree with you," Laura said coldly, obviously not wanting to let him off the hook that easily.
"I learned from the best," he said, trying to charm his way back into her good graces. She gave him a small wintry smile and then turned to Tory and asked her to escort him to the brig with a note of permission. On his way out, he couldn't help but notice how small and frail she looked.
*************
The two of them walked in silence for several minutes. Neither knew what to say. Sam finally broke the silence. "You don't have to walk with me. I can take the note myself."
"It's fine," Tory said quietly.
"I just want to say...." Sam trailed off. "I don't know what I want to say, but I need to be with Kara right now."
It was the last thing Tory wanted to hear. Their relationship, complicated as it was, was the only part of her life that made sense right now. She didn't want to be one of those girls who always needed a man to feel safe so she replied, "It's fine. I understand."
Something bothered her though. "It doesn't change anything? Everything that's happened, I mean?" she asked.
Sam paused, then answered, "No. I mean, it all still feels the same."
Tory pushed. She wanted answers, and it seemed like he might have some. "Isn't that the whole point of sleepers, though? That everything is the same and then one day you wake up and the whole world is different?"
Sam took a puff of his cigarette. "I think different is in the eye of the beholder. To me, Kara is still the same person I knew when she went into that storm. That's what counts."
Tory almost let it go, but part of her couldn't. "How do you know that though? If Kara isn't human, what is she? If she is a person the same as you and I, what does that mean?" Even Tory wasn't sure just who she was talking about now.
Sam turned and faced her. He looked her in the eyes for the first time that night. "I don't know anything right now, but I know that I love Kara and I have faith that she loves me too. It's not much, but its the only thing that makes sense right now. I have to follow that. I know it's not a great answer, but it's the best I've got."
Tory nodded, pretending to understand. She turned away from him then and stayed in front of him the rest of the silent trip to the brig.
***************
Kara paced in her cage. She was restless. She kept reviewing her conversation with the admiral. It sucked a little more every time. She saw someone at the door, talking to the guards, and she steeled (stalled?) herself. Sam walked through the door. She relaxed and almost smiled. She should have know he wouldn't be able to stay away. He didn't smile however. He almost looked pissed off. She should have known he'd be mad about what she had done, but he was here and that said a lot. "Hey," she said, trying to gauge his mood.
He simply walked over and wrapped his arms around her. She reached up and did the same. It was the most real anything had felt since she'd been back. Now she was home. They stayed that way for a long time. It wasn't until later that she would realize that the fact he hadn't wanted to talk was a sign of how much he had changed.