Scientific Fact #13: Sleeping Too Much Makes You Beautiful
In the economy of attraction half the demand is for those bee-stung lips, those honey eyes, the pinched nose and your thick pile of shining hair that you arrange to frame your face like gilded copper with the help of a few stray curls. But that only gets you a second look, some jerk trying to buy you a drink or an awkward kid on the subway slipping you their number with a worried smile.
What you want is for them to be haunted. Your face burning clear and blinding when they close their eyes at night. You want to be the only one they paint from now on, the only stand-in for 'she' in everything they write for as long as they live. The secret inspiration for anything from Nobel prizes to teenage masturbation fantasies. That last brilliant vision of life personified before they slip away.
What you do is you sleep fourteen hours a day, you give them that distance that makes you unapproachable, mythical. They'll mistake bleariness for unfathomable depth, sluggishness for contemplation and poise.
Sleeping fourteeen hours a day will fill out your curves in exactly the right places, padding your nervous bones to substitute for the softness they all miss. Your skin will turn milky and smooth without the sun and you will always be late, which they love. She had something better to do while you were waiting, your tussled hair will tell them.
They'll be dying to talk to you but your eyes will look right through them. 'I'm scared,' they'll think, 'I'm not sure what she's seeing.' But you're just having trouble focusing through the third migraine of the day. You're so devastatingly beautiful.
What you want is for them to be haunted. Your face burning clear and blinding when they close their eyes at night. You want to be the only one they paint from now on, the only stand-in for 'she' in everything they write for as long as they live. The secret inspiration for anything from Nobel prizes to teenage masturbation fantasies. That last brilliant vision of life personified before they slip away.
What you do is you sleep fourteen hours a day, you give them that distance that makes you unapproachable, mythical. They'll mistake bleariness for unfathomable depth, sluggishness for contemplation and poise.
Sleeping fourteeen hours a day will fill out your curves in exactly the right places, padding your nervous bones to substitute for the softness they all miss. Your skin will turn milky and smooth without the sun and you will always be late, which they love. She had something better to do while you were waiting, your tussled hair will tell them.
They'll be dying to talk to you but your eyes will look right through them. 'I'm scared,' they'll think, 'I'm not sure what she's seeing.' But you're just having trouble focusing through the third migraine of the day. You're so devastatingly beautiful.