Scientific Fact #10: She's Not Your Roommate Anymore
Yesterday you two were watching Jeopardy and your roommate went to get some pickles during the commercial break. She made all the normal pickle-getting noises but suddenly there was a thump. Not like anything falling, this terrible wet sort of sound maybe like bones and organs evacuating one's skin.
"Is everything ok?" you asked loudly.
"Yeah!" she yelled back, but you could hear something in her voice that made your heart stop. There was no mistaking it - she was no longer your roommate but something entirely different. You weren't sure what, but when she walked back into the living room and smiled a new, unfamiliar smile, her eyes a little softer, a little wetter, it made your hair stand on end.
You unmuted the commercials, told her you need to make a call and hurried up to your room where you sat with the lights off and the shades drawn all night steeling yourself for what you knew you had to do.
She's not your roommate anymore. She's not the girl who makes those amazing pancakes or who knows the area codes for the whole province by heart. Don't overthink it. Sneak into her room now before she has time to suspect that you know, swing your grandma's brass lamp right into her skull and spare her family the agony of having to live with what she'll do if you let her.
Everyone will understand.
"Is everything ok?" you asked loudly.
"Yeah!" she yelled back, but you could hear something in her voice that made your heart stop. There was no mistaking it - she was no longer your roommate but something entirely different. You weren't sure what, but when she walked back into the living room and smiled a new, unfamiliar smile, her eyes a little softer, a little wetter, it made your hair stand on end.
You unmuted the commercials, told her you need to make a call and hurried up to your room where you sat with the lights off and the shades drawn all night steeling yourself for what you knew you had to do.
She's not your roommate anymore. She's not the girl who makes those amazing pancakes or who knows the area codes for the whole province by heart. Don't overthink it. Sneak into her room now before she has time to suspect that you know, swing your grandma's brass lamp right into her skull and spare her family the agony of having to live with what she'll do if you let her.
Everyone will understand.