The Horse is Not Quite Dead Yet

[sciencewizard]

Hello readerinos!

This is Agent Bianca, formerly of the PPC, checking in to the 2009 Real Time Year. From the construction floor with the Storyboard Gremlins, I'm anticipating some lovely new work coming our way for the new Star Trek movie. I no longer work at the Nitpicker's Guild, and I'm no longer employed by the PPC, so I for one intend to do my best to ensure that the new movie is thoroughly enjoyed by all. That said, I can't help but note that...

• Kirk is 11 years older than Chekhov.
  
• Spock is 2 years older than Kirk.
  
• McCoy is about 10 years older than both of them; possibly more.
  
• Scotty is closer to McCoy's age than either.
  
• The arching triangular logo that we have all come to associate with Star Trek was designed specially for the NCC-1701. It was used in that time period for the officers and crew of Constitution-class starships and soon supplanted the earlier Starfleet logo, which was a stylized sunburst. The officers and crew of space stations, Starfleet headquarters, and Starfleet Acedemy (especially in Kirk's flashbacks) all wore the old logo. Also, Academy uniforms were seen to be an eye-watering shade of metallic blue-gray.
  
• James Kirk has 7-8 significant ex-girlfriends to date. Many of them are blonde; they include accomplished lawyers, scientists, and random chicks. If he needs someone to boff in the trailer, any one of them would do nicely.
  
• The Romulans, introduced in Star Trek's first season, had maintained a period of radio silence for a century, and no one in Starfleet knew what they looked like until then.
  
• Spock has a previous history on the USS Enterprise; Kirk does not. In fact, he has a previous history on the USS Farragut.

My personal suspension of disbelief begins now; I for one am just hoping for a darn good movie. I want entertainment, thoughtfulness, and authentic old-style Star Trek, in that order.

True Star Trek involves several key factors, all of which have been missing from Voyager, Enterprise, Nemesis, and the last few seasons of DS 9.

Human drama. Star Trek has never been about space, aliens, and things that go boom. It was never "Wagon Train to the Stars," no matter what Gene Roddenberry told NBC. Good episodes, good movies, are about the human condition. They deal with xenophobia ("The Devil in the Dark"), cultural egotism ("Errand of Mercy"), dark threats camouflaged by attractive exteriors ("The Trouble With Tribbles"), obsession ("First Contact"), self-sacrifice ("Wrath of Khan"), humanitarianism vs. technocracy ("The Best of Both Worlds"), and the deep and conflicted process of knowing the enemy. Data taught us what it meant to be human; Worf taught us what it meant not to be. Sometimes it was done poorly (the Vietnam War and Prop 8); sometimes it was done well (perestroika, euthanasia), but when done, it was the cornerstone of who we were.

A cosmic world view. Star Trek has always been a microcosm, and it was always meant to be. The humans were the Americans; the Klingons were the Ruskies; and the "other" was still the great and puzzling "other." Being "human" in Star Trek meant "being just like the rest of us," and Star Trek's greatest moments came when it championed the right of others not to be just like the rest of us. Spock was the great figure who made "human" a come-down, an insult, a moment of comedy. The universe is full of people who have no intention of being just like us, who do not worship our superior humanity and seek, like Data, to ape us in every way. And there is no better time than this decade, as our United States Ship Enterprise bulldozes its way around the world, imposing "democracy" and "capitalism" as if they were God's gift to the world, to remind us that plenty of people are not like us, and that they can still be our friends, our allies, and our inspiration.

Optimism. Section 31 made for some great stories, but it's not authentic Star Trek. If I want a place where the dominant culture lives in apparent peace, prosperity, and tolerance, while a secret group of slimeballs torture, assassinate, and wangle their way into the highest levels of government to ensure that this society can endure, all I have to do is look out my window. I want Star Trek to show me how good the future can be, not how twisted and self-serving human civilization is always doomed to be. Let people of every race, creed, and color rise to highly visible positions of responsibility. Let science and faith coexist with neither triumphing over the other. Let us not look to a future run solely by white human men in gray suits and grayer morals.

Accessibility. Star Trek was, like Doctor Who, a mainstream television series, not the sole provenance of wired geeks who could understand the technobabble. Random viewers should be able to tune in at any given time and be able to follow the story. The core element should be human, not based on the dilating flux of the Shekhtman-Aharonov field lines. And ixnae on the 89-episode story arcs that take two years to complete. "Last time on Star Trek" should summarize what happened last time, not what happened last year.

GOOD WRITING: accept no substitute! Theodore Sturgeon, Harlan Ellison, D.C. Fontana, Harve Bennett, Nicholas Meyer. These are big names and big talents. And even they have their bad days. Even Gene Roddenberry himself lost his touch on the throttle after 20 years. Good characters and good setups are no substitute for good writing. Voyager is the key example of eight characters in search of a script. You can't do Star Trek from a can. It has to be...

Original setups. No "Naked Now." No trying to recreate "Wrath of Khan" with Data. Lighting only strikes the same bottle once. True Star Trek needs fresh ideas every week: the best of what everyone has to offer. This is completely incompatible with a permanent "writing staff" who make all executive decisions, pen all the scripts, edit their own work, and then give us things that should be...

Not written as part of someone's power play with someone else, especially the fans. Do not kill characters or blow up ships just to prove that you can. If it serves an essential function in the human drama, do it and do it well. Don't do it in 10 minutes with no repercussions just to piss off the fans who said, "You can't do that to my character!" It's all about the...

Human drama. Relevant, thoughtful human drama that makes us laugh, that makes us think, and that gives us hope for ourselves. And if it's gift-wrapped in snazzy special effects and things that go boom, so much the better.