(no subject)
the old joke about men never asking for directions isn't really a joke. your man really does interpret your desire that he stop and ask for directions as distrust. it implies that he is not capable of finding the way himself, that he is incompentent...ultimately that he is not trustworthy. little things add up. we women know this- how the little gestures of love and support mean so much more than the grand gestures. it's the same concept. shaunti feldhahn in her book 'for women only: what you need to know about the inner lives of men' gives the following example of a man's interpretation of these little things: 'if she doesn't respect me in this small thing, she probably doesn't really respect me at all.' that really hit me. it's easy to forget how vulnerable you become to each other when you're in love. to base my interactions with nathan on that premise is quite difficult- the responsibility that i hold to encourage and support him is tremendous, just as the power to wound and hinder him is tremendous. God has given me an amazing opportunity to participate in the building up of a man of God. i need to take this seriously...which means carefully choosing my words and attitudes. questioning his ability to do those little things without being reminded or otherwise without my help- other examples would be things like calling the reception hall or taking out the garbage or picking up my prescription- leads him to question his compentency in all areas of life. Jesus said that 'whoever can be trusted with very little can be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much' (luke 16:10); He also told a parable based on this idea (luke 19:11-27). a man who doesn't feel that he is trusted with the small things will not feel confident in his ability to handle the big things. making sure that your man knows that you respect him and trust in his abilities is crucial. cultivate an attitude of respect. defer to his judgment. let his leadership shine. both of you will benefit tremendously.
kare bear
kare bear