Confessions on Easter
I`m a good little Christian boy. Except for the whole...married to a male penguin from Jupiter thing....but that`s okay because we adopted one of God`s children who would otherwise be all alone in this world, so at least we conducted a good deed.
So I have some confessions to make to you, my friends. First of all, I am a zebra from Mercury. That`s right, a zebra. I painted my white stripes purple, & dyed my black stripes hot pink, so I kind of look like this: ///////
I am cheating on Jeremy....with two girls...I married both of them....so for a little bit, I had three wives.
I secretly LOVE watching chick flicks, & lifetime original movies. & I will always stop everything when Designing Women comes on.
I also believe that Martha Stewart is the hottest babe alive!!!! She can bake my cookies ANY day!!!
I am obsessed with water. I mean, it`s the perfect stuff! You drink it, you use it to cook(which I also LOVE doing), you swim in it, & you bathe in it!!! I mean, I WOULD MARRY WATER IF I DIDNT ALREADY HAVE SO MANY WIVES!!!!!!!
Okay, enough of marriages....my zebra hoves...they are made out of gum.
I secretly hate all rock music, & my favorite singer of all time is Trisha Yearwood!!!
Her & LeAnn Rimes rock my socks! My socks are baby blue with pink fuzzy bunnies on them, btw.
I secretly collect feather boas. I currently have 42. They are in assorted colors.
I have an army of marshmellow peeps.
ANDREW GEORGE SAMUEL AUSTIN IS A RAPIST!!!! HE WANTS TO RAPE MY TWO WIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HIS VERY OWN STEP MOMMIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!What a sicko.