booksandscience: Starting Over Again
"Fred, sweetheart, are you sure you don't want to come back here and help us? You won't believe the lab they have here. Knowing you and your big brain, you'd be able to help out so much with some of the things we've been dealing with already. Better than the guy currently handling things, that's for sure."
"I made my decision, Lorne," she told her friend softly as she sat on the back porch of her parents' home, waving to her father as he drove the tractor out of the barn and headed to the nearby field. "I can't-my place isn't there anymore. Everything's changed."
Everything had changed - ever since Wesley had died at the hands of Holtz's psychotic follower Justine. How they had managed to get through the year that followed, Fred still didn't know. So many times, she had thought that they had reached the end of their luck, first with Holtz, then with the Beast, then with Jasmine, but still somehow, they had managed to extend their luck and stop them.
However, when it had all been over, and Lilah had showed up to offer them Wolfram and Hart in exchange for what they had done, and Fred had wanted to turn to Wesley to ask him what he thought, she had realized that she just couldn't stay there any longer, not when the others were actually considering going to work with the firm that had made their lives such a living hell for so long, that had helped the people and demon responsible for Wesley's death.
"I know," he finally answered after a few moments of silence from his end of the phone call. "I was just hoping... I miss my Freddles, you know."
Looking up at the sky for a moment, Fred bit her lip, not wanting to cry. "I miss you too, Lorne, and I want us to stay in touch, but I just...can't be there with you guys."
"If you ever change your mind, you know there's a place for you with us, right?"
"I know."
"But you won't change your mind."
"No."
There was another pause on his end, and Fred found herself wanting to hug him, to let him know that it was all right even though she had made her decision. "What are you going to do now?"
"I...I'm not completely sure. I've been thinking about going back to school here and finishing my doctorate in Physics. We'll see."
"Well, whatever you decide, it'll be there right thing. I love you, Fred. You take care of yourself, okay. Call me if you ever want to talk. If you miss the old times."
"I will, and I love you too, Lorne. Bye."
Punching the end button on her cell phone, Fred then let her hand fall into her lap as she stared out toward where her father was working for a minutes. Her mother was back from her morning bus run; she could hear her moving around in the kitchen. Neither of them had asked her yet why she had come home when she had been so adamant about staying before, and so far, she had been grateful for that. She wanted to tell them what had happened, but sometimes, she still wasn't even sure of everything that had happened. She needed some time to work it through in her own mind before she could tell them.
Suddenly, the phone in her hand started ringing again, startling her.
"Lorne," she muttered while she raised the phone to look at the display. It wasn't his number, though. Whoever was calling, she didn't recognize it. She almost decided to let voice mail pick up the call but then changed her mind and pressed the answer button. "Hello, this is Fred Burkle."
"I made my decision, Lorne," she told her friend softly as she sat on the back porch of her parents' home, waving to her father as he drove the tractor out of the barn and headed to the nearby field. "I can't-my place isn't there anymore. Everything's changed."
Everything had changed - ever since Wesley had died at the hands of Holtz's psychotic follower Justine. How they had managed to get through the year that followed, Fred still didn't know. So many times, she had thought that they had reached the end of their luck, first with Holtz, then with the Beast, then with Jasmine, but still somehow, they had managed to extend their luck and stop them.
However, when it had all been over, and Lilah had showed up to offer them Wolfram and Hart in exchange for what they had done, and Fred had wanted to turn to Wesley to ask him what he thought, she had realized that she just couldn't stay there any longer, not when the others were actually considering going to work with the firm that had made their lives such a living hell for so long, that had helped the people and demon responsible for Wesley's death.
"I know," he finally answered after a few moments of silence from his end of the phone call. "I was just hoping... I miss my Freddles, you know."
Looking up at the sky for a moment, Fred bit her lip, not wanting to cry. "I miss you too, Lorne, and I want us to stay in touch, but I just...can't be there with you guys."
"If you ever change your mind, you know there's a place for you with us, right?"
"I know."
"But you won't change your mind."
"No."
There was another pause on his end, and Fred found herself wanting to hug him, to let him know that it was all right even though she had made her decision. "What are you going to do now?"
"I...I'm not completely sure. I've been thinking about going back to school here and finishing my doctorate in Physics. We'll see."
"Well, whatever you decide, it'll be there right thing. I love you, Fred. You take care of yourself, okay. Call me if you ever want to talk. If you miss the old times."
"I will, and I love you too, Lorne. Bye."
Punching the end button on her cell phone, Fred then let her hand fall into her lap as she stared out toward where her father was working for a minutes. Her mother was back from her morning bus run; she could hear her moving around in the kitchen. Neither of them had asked her yet why she had come home when she had been so adamant about staying before, and so far, she had been grateful for that. She wanted to tell them what had happened, but sometimes, she still wasn't even sure of everything that had happened. She needed some time to work it through in her own mind before she could tell them.
Suddenly, the phone in her hand started ringing again, startling her.
"Lorne," she muttered while she raised the phone to look at the display. It wasn't his number, though. Whoever was calling, she didn't recognize it. She almost decided to let voice mail pick up the call but then changed her mind and pressed the answer button. "Hello, this is Fred Burkle."