So...It's come to this
August 14...2007. Christ. Its already almost 2008. What the hell is my life coming to. These are the fucking years i'm supposed to look back on? Cheer up things will get better? I'm fucking 22 and I feel like every day grows darker than the next. Everything good and whole in me has died.
I feel like I'm F A D I N G A W A Y L I K E W O R D S OFF TH E P A PE R
My life is one ironic twist after another.
Every day I'm alive is a testament to the mistakes i've made. The amazing people I've lost, some that to this day I wish I could hold again like that day. One whose LJ I accidentally ran into by pure irony, who i've always missed these years and wondered how was doing...but you probably hate me still. I don't blame you, I'm just a chapter that I wouldn't want to remember.
I don't know....I don't know if I can do this anymore. I don't even know if anyone will see this, if anyone will ever see this...but I'm scared.
I'm terrified.
I can not live this way anymore.
I can't live alone. This heart of mine was made two big...and I've seen every opportunity at happiness missed. My soul is burning for you, and you would never even see it.
Years later, and I spend my days still in misery. To recoil my inner most thoughts to these typings...memoirs of dementia....these chronicles of heartbreak.
This world praises the asshole, while a nice guy sits behind...well to you I say NO.
The person in me who cared is dead. May your hand be guided to my heart...and set me free. But sadly, I can't rely on such luck...I'll never meet anyone I like. Everyone is just a substitution.
FUCK. Still to this moment i'm being eaten away. I JUST want to get out of here. This is what happens when I am forced to live here. FUCK what the hell has my life come to?
I'm this close to being a memory.
GIVE ME ONE FUCKING REASON TO BE HAPPY. ONE FOR CHRIST SAKE. I've been patient...I've been kind, i've been generous, I've conserved, I've loved, I've hated, I've been cautious and respectful; optimistic and thoughtful...and I'M FORCED WITH THIS??
I wish I had enough emotion and spirit in me to shed a tear...there is nothing but agony. In this...my descent into misery.
I feel like I'm F A D I N G A W A Y L I K E W O R D S OFF TH E P A PE R
My life is one ironic twist after another.
Every day I'm alive is a testament to the mistakes i've made. The amazing people I've lost, some that to this day I wish I could hold again like that day. One whose LJ I accidentally ran into by pure irony, who i've always missed these years and wondered how was doing...but you probably hate me still. I don't blame you, I'm just a chapter that I wouldn't want to remember.
I don't know....I don't know if I can do this anymore. I don't even know if anyone will see this, if anyone will ever see this...but I'm scared.
I'm terrified.
I can not live this way anymore.
I can't live alone. This heart of mine was made two big...and I've seen every opportunity at happiness missed. My soul is burning for you, and you would never even see it.
Years later, and I spend my days still in misery. To recoil my inner most thoughts to these typings...memoirs of dementia....these chronicles of heartbreak.
This world praises the asshole, while a nice guy sits behind...well to you I say NO.
The person in me who cared is dead. May your hand be guided to my heart...and set me free. But sadly, I can't rely on such luck...I'll never meet anyone I like. Everyone is just a substitution.
FUCK. Still to this moment i'm being eaten away. I JUST want to get out of here. This is what happens when I am forced to live here. FUCK what the hell has my life come to?
I'm this close to being a memory.
GIVE ME ONE FUCKING REASON TO BE HAPPY. ONE FOR CHRIST SAKE. I've been patient...I've been kind, i've been generous, I've conserved, I've loved, I've hated, I've been cautious and respectful; optimistic and thoughtful...and I'M FORCED WITH THIS??
I wish I had enough emotion and spirit in me to shed a tear...there is nothing but agony. In this...my descent into misery.