Schwibbins Travels, Part II
CHAPTER 3
The Author giveth an account of the ways of the Trolls
My practice of slowly building a dictionary continued everyday. Trés left every morning to work in the cornfields while Vidal stayed home to tend to household chores and the child. She would instruct me several hours each day and while she worked. In this manner I was able to learn the Lóreal tongue.
As soon as I was able to comprehend a few simple words I was firmly instructed by Trés that I was never to leave the confines of the house until a mask and a suit of clothes could be made for me. I was also instructed where to hide if anyone should come to the house to visit.
I was puzzled as to the great secrecy I was obligated to maintain, but I speculated it to be due to some great danger. As soon as I had a fair understanding of the language I asked Vidal what circumstance demanded that I conceal myself. From her account I gradually learned of the bizarre structure of the country.
There are two classes in Lóreal. Trés and Vidal were of a class called Trolls, an appellation which seems undeserved considering their wonderful beauty and elegant stature. The trolls are governed by the race of Loreatis, which Vidal described as possessing the most majestic beauty of the face, as well as being of a greater height and slenderness than the trolls, and adorned in very elegant robes of embroidered silk.
I asked her if these were indeed the creatures I had first spied upon my arrival. She confirmed my suspicions and unleashed a barrage of questions concerning their appearance, which I struggled to answer with my inadequate understanding of the language. At last she produced a notebook and asked me to draw from memory, which I did, to the best of my abilities. Apparently, Loreatis are very seldom seen among their subjects. Their carry out necessary governing activities by means of specially elected trolls called stylists, which wear red masks instead of white, and black robes. All Trolls are forbidden under the penalty of banishment to take off their masks. However, Vidal and Trés frequently remove their masks in the security of their own home or in the absence of Stylistes. The masks are necessary to conceal their natural ugliness from each other and from any Loreatis that happen to be passing through. The Loreatis believe ugliness to be a contagious trait, that harms the well-being and productivity of the workers.
I spent a large amount of time with the child, as I felt extremely sorry for her. I learned that the child was indeed a female, and, contrary to custom in Europe, a female child is much more highly valued than a male, for females are believed to be more naturally inclined to beauty. The young girl does not have a name, for children are not named until they reach physical maturity. The bandages are not the result of an injury or accident, but a procedure in which the child’s face is sculpted by tying ropes and bandages around the child’s head when she is young and the bones are soft and malleable. The child claims the practice is painful at first but subsides over the years. She is excited about getting her bandages removed and her prospective future in which she hopes to become a Loreati.
On very rare occasions, a child is born among the Trolls who exhibits a high potential for beauty. Upon reaching maturity, a small number of these children are accepted into the court of Loreatis. Trés and Vidal hoe that their daughter will be accepted to the court, and have, since her birth, performed various tasks designed to enhance her beauty. The child must wear a mask or bandages at all times, except at night, for the sun can be very harmful to her complexion. She does not eat; such a practice may damage her teeth as well as add undesirable bulk to her figure. The child obtains the necessary victuals to sustain her life by receiving, once a day, a dietary suppository, which is inserted into the anus, and contains many nutrients. These suppositories, I am told, are also used by many Loreatis, and are obtained only at a great cost. Trés and Vidal acquire this money by selling a special ointment they fashion from corn mush to the Loreatis, which is favored by them for its use of stiffening their hair into the aforementioned quills. Although the ointment sells for a high price, the family lives very poorly, subsisting on corn porridge and the occasional hog, for most of their money goes towards purchasing the various creams and paints the child will need to become a Loreati.
Perhaps the most rigorous beautification exercise is that which the child undergoes while she sleeps. She lays in a special bed to which her arms and legs are secured by ropes. Then wheel is turned so that, through various gears and pullies, the child is gradually stretched, so that she may attain the tall, slender body necessary to be a Loreati.
It is my witness of such unpleasant activities the poor child must suffer that moved me to attempt to partake in many diversions with the child. We developed a great friendship, me still barred from fieldwork for lack of a mask, which were constructed only at the royal palace, and her bandaged and starved for attention. After I had stayed with the family a number of months, Trés and Vidal felt comfortable leaving me to attend to the child while they ventured to an adjacent village to procure some facial cream for the child.
One that sunny day, following the child’s suggestion, we secretly made our way to the corn field and began to play a game of hide-and-go-seek in the security of the tall stalks. However, after a while the girl began to weep, for she was continually unable to find me, on account of her sight being completely obscured by the bandages. In consolation, I donned a blindfold myself. This made for great fun until I accidental ran out of the cornfield in an attempt to hide, and found myself confronted by a pair of Stylistes. I was immediately asked why I had neglected to wear my mask, and, failing to provide a satisfactory answer, was put in shackles, which were in turn attached by a rope to a carriage. The guards then drove the carriage to the royal palace, and I was forced to run to keep from being drug. Often, I stumbled and was momentarily pulled through the dirt until I could regain my footing. The journey lasted several grueling hours, during which, in addition to the cuts and bruises I received, I was struck by an intense necessity to urinate, which I could not manage without wetting myself. I pleaded to the Stylistes several times to stop for this purpose, but they were unyielding.
I was taken through the gates of the grandiose royal palace and untied from the carriage. The Stylistes quickly dusted off my clothes and led me into a grand hall, where a row of Loreatis sat awaiting my arrival, dressed in rainbow of brightly colored robes and draped down to the ground, and adorned with the most frightening artistry of paint on their faces. In the center sat whom I presume to be the queen, her hair fixed nearly two feet in the air with the corn adhesive, and her eyelashes curling to her forehead. She asked me to state my name before the court, which I did, bowing in supplication. She then asked me to tell the court why I had neglected to wear my mask and how I came upon such strange clothing.
I began to tell my story, beginning with the tragic shipwreck, but I could not, for my desire to discharge my urine had grown so unbearable that I was on the verge of soiling myself. I halted my story and begged the queen if one of her Stylistes could lead me outside to make water, for I could not speak any more until that was done.
The court was immediately caught in a series of horrific expressions. One princess even fainted. After she had recovered her initial shock, the queen screamed many harsh abuses at me and reprimanded me for mentioning such a perverse and disgusting act out loud. I began to apologize, but she would not hear it. She ordered her guard to banish me from the country as soon as possible.
I was crudely grabbed by two Stylistes and drug out of the hall, while I, if the reader will excuse my mention of such improper content, I most profusely wet myself. I was lead to the shore of the island and placed in a small boat. I waited under guard for several hours, until another Styliste arrived with a small parcel of provisions. These he placed in the boat, along with a set of sturdy oars. Around sunset, I was unshackled and pushed out to sea.
As I said before, I am no master of navigation, but I made for what I figured to be north, hoping I would encounter one of the other islands I recalled from the voyage. I rationed my provisions and rowed heartily, sleeping for only a few hours a night. After three days I noticed a sail in the distance. I fastened my shirt on the end of an oar and waved in frantically, and to me elation, the ship fired a cannon in acknowledgement. I was taken aboard a Dutch merchant ship, and, by the means of a very honourable and generous captain, was given a passage back to Europe under the condition I pay him a considerable sum when we returned.
The Author giveth an account of the ways of the Trolls
My practice of slowly building a dictionary continued everyday. Trés left every morning to work in the cornfields while Vidal stayed home to tend to household chores and the child. She would instruct me several hours each day and while she worked. In this manner I was able to learn the Lóreal tongue.
As soon as I was able to comprehend a few simple words I was firmly instructed by Trés that I was never to leave the confines of the house until a mask and a suit of clothes could be made for me. I was also instructed where to hide if anyone should come to the house to visit.
I was puzzled as to the great secrecy I was obligated to maintain, but I speculated it to be due to some great danger. As soon as I had a fair understanding of the language I asked Vidal what circumstance demanded that I conceal myself. From her account I gradually learned of the bizarre structure of the country.
There are two classes in Lóreal. Trés and Vidal were of a class called Trolls, an appellation which seems undeserved considering their wonderful beauty and elegant stature. The trolls are governed by the race of Loreatis, which Vidal described as possessing the most majestic beauty of the face, as well as being of a greater height and slenderness than the trolls, and adorned in very elegant robes of embroidered silk.
I asked her if these were indeed the creatures I had first spied upon my arrival. She confirmed my suspicions and unleashed a barrage of questions concerning their appearance, which I struggled to answer with my inadequate understanding of the language. At last she produced a notebook and asked me to draw from memory, which I did, to the best of my abilities. Apparently, Loreatis are very seldom seen among their subjects. Their carry out necessary governing activities by means of specially elected trolls called stylists, which wear red masks instead of white, and black robes. All Trolls are forbidden under the penalty of banishment to take off their masks. However, Vidal and Trés frequently remove their masks in the security of their own home or in the absence of Stylistes. The masks are necessary to conceal their natural ugliness from each other and from any Loreatis that happen to be passing through. The Loreatis believe ugliness to be a contagious trait, that harms the well-being and productivity of the workers.
I spent a large amount of time with the child, as I felt extremely sorry for her. I learned that the child was indeed a female, and, contrary to custom in Europe, a female child is much more highly valued than a male, for females are believed to be more naturally inclined to beauty. The young girl does not have a name, for children are not named until they reach physical maturity. The bandages are not the result of an injury or accident, but a procedure in which the child’s face is sculpted by tying ropes and bandages around the child’s head when she is young and the bones are soft and malleable. The child claims the practice is painful at first but subsides over the years. She is excited about getting her bandages removed and her prospective future in which she hopes to become a Loreati.
On very rare occasions, a child is born among the Trolls who exhibits a high potential for beauty. Upon reaching maturity, a small number of these children are accepted into the court of Loreatis. Trés and Vidal hoe that their daughter will be accepted to the court, and have, since her birth, performed various tasks designed to enhance her beauty. The child must wear a mask or bandages at all times, except at night, for the sun can be very harmful to her complexion. She does not eat; such a practice may damage her teeth as well as add undesirable bulk to her figure. The child obtains the necessary victuals to sustain her life by receiving, once a day, a dietary suppository, which is inserted into the anus, and contains many nutrients. These suppositories, I am told, are also used by many Loreatis, and are obtained only at a great cost. Trés and Vidal acquire this money by selling a special ointment they fashion from corn mush to the Loreatis, which is favored by them for its use of stiffening their hair into the aforementioned quills. Although the ointment sells for a high price, the family lives very poorly, subsisting on corn porridge and the occasional hog, for most of their money goes towards purchasing the various creams and paints the child will need to become a Loreati.
Perhaps the most rigorous beautification exercise is that which the child undergoes while she sleeps. She lays in a special bed to which her arms and legs are secured by ropes. Then wheel is turned so that, through various gears and pullies, the child is gradually stretched, so that she may attain the tall, slender body necessary to be a Loreati.
It is my witness of such unpleasant activities the poor child must suffer that moved me to attempt to partake in many diversions with the child. We developed a great friendship, me still barred from fieldwork for lack of a mask, which were constructed only at the royal palace, and her bandaged and starved for attention. After I had stayed with the family a number of months, Trés and Vidal felt comfortable leaving me to attend to the child while they ventured to an adjacent village to procure some facial cream for the child.
One that sunny day, following the child’s suggestion, we secretly made our way to the corn field and began to play a game of hide-and-go-seek in the security of the tall stalks. However, after a while the girl began to weep, for she was continually unable to find me, on account of her sight being completely obscured by the bandages. In consolation, I donned a blindfold myself. This made for great fun until I accidental ran out of the cornfield in an attempt to hide, and found myself confronted by a pair of Stylistes. I was immediately asked why I had neglected to wear my mask, and, failing to provide a satisfactory answer, was put in shackles, which were in turn attached by a rope to a carriage. The guards then drove the carriage to the royal palace, and I was forced to run to keep from being drug. Often, I stumbled and was momentarily pulled through the dirt until I could regain my footing. The journey lasted several grueling hours, during which, in addition to the cuts and bruises I received, I was struck by an intense necessity to urinate, which I could not manage without wetting myself. I pleaded to the Stylistes several times to stop for this purpose, but they were unyielding.
I was taken through the gates of the grandiose royal palace and untied from the carriage. The Stylistes quickly dusted off my clothes and led me into a grand hall, where a row of Loreatis sat awaiting my arrival, dressed in rainbow of brightly colored robes and draped down to the ground, and adorned with the most frightening artistry of paint on their faces. In the center sat whom I presume to be the queen, her hair fixed nearly two feet in the air with the corn adhesive, and her eyelashes curling to her forehead. She asked me to state my name before the court, which I did, bowing in supplication. She then asked me to tell the court why I had neglected to wear my mask and how I came upon such strange clothing.
I began to tell my story, beginning with the tragic shipwreck, but I could not, for my desire to discharge my urine had grown so unbearable that I was on the verge of soiling myself. I halted my story and begged the queen if one of her Stylistes could lead me outside to make water, for I could not speak any more until that was done.
The court was immediately caught in a series of horrific expressions. One princess even fainted. After she had recovered her initial shock, the queen screamed many harsh abuses at me and reprimanded me for mentioning such a perverse and disgusting act out loud. I began to apologize, but she would not hear it. She ordered her guard to banish me from the country as soon as possible.
I was crudely grabbed by two Stylistes and drug out of the hall, while I, if the reader will excuse my mention of such improper content, I most profusely wet myself. I was lead to the shore of the island and placed in a small boat. I waited under guard for several hours, until another Styliste arrived with a small parcel of provisions. These he placed in the boat, along with a set of sturdy oars. Around sunset, I was unshackled and pushed out to sea.
As I said before, I am no master of navigation, but I made for what I figured to be north, hoping I would encounter one of the other islands I recalled from the voyage. I rationed my provisions and rowed heartily, sleeping for only a few hours a night. After three days I noticed a sail in the distance. I fastened my shirt on the end of an oar and waved in frantically, and to me elation, the ship fired a cannon in acknowledgement. I was taken aboard a Dutch merchant ship, and, by the means of a very honourable and generous captain, was given a passage back to Europe under the condition I pay him a considerable sum when we returned.