no one speaks a word of dreams that are left to rust

[schwebe17]

i realize now that your not the only one who cares about me but it still doesnt change the fact that i miss you and want this whole thing to blow over. which usually happens in most fights with good friendships like the one we had. cause friendship includes love and is alot like love. its an unconditional, no matter what, kind of pact between people. im there for you and your there for me and any problems you could possibly let come between is talked through or let go because you realize your friendship is more important than anything. this is friendship... the type of friendship you know you will always have no matter what and youll always be able to rely on it. bff means nohing without this concept...ive displayed this point in many of my friendships, and trust me ive had some pretty fucked up shit happen to me, but i let it go cause my friendship with the person has always been more important than any bullshit. this is how strong our friendship was, or at least i thought it was. the reasoning for this fight is all wrong.. to say that im worng because i dont share things that are personal to me, that i choose to share with absolutly no one, is wrong in itself. and to be mad for things that didnt happen that i proved didnt happen, but still not to let them go , this isnt like you. but mabey im all wrong here. mabey the true fact is you just dont want me around anymore, if this is it just tell me. ill give up hands down cause i just want you to be happy, thats what ive wanted for the past year. if this is what you need to be happy. ill stop saying to the people who tell me to "just say fuck it" and "you dont need her anyway" that there wrong and i dont want to say fuck it and i do need you, and ill just take it an let it go. i can say this easily but i also know i really wont.. itll hurt and probably will for a long time, but if this is what you need to be happy, then i wont stop you. i cant make you care if you really dont. assumption? mabey.. but actions speak louder than words and rights now im the only one thats acting like i could care that we dont talk or hang out or anything we used to do. you say theres nothing you can do and you cant make every one happy... fuck that. thats not friendship. you can make anyone you want happy, thats the one thing we can control.. our own actions. and you should know it really doesnt take much to make me happy. all ive wanted for the last month or so was the friendship i thought id always be able to rely on... i just wish you wanted that too. but im still here, no matter what, im just a phone call away...

thanks to the people who have been there for me for the last 2 weeks.. dana, rutowski, joe,n sean <3

just a few of the many memories:
~my car
~new york
~john mayer
~shore days n shore nights
~grill cheeses
~prom weekend
~south street
~mcdonalds
~getting lost
~many songs on our mix cds
~boardwalks
~our week at the shore
~long drives going no where
~the best 2 days of our lives
~ripping paper
~CRACK
~sidewalks n kevs trampoline
~you cant hold it
~my backseat
~when we got unlost you always found a way to get us lost again
~rapping to snoop
~yoga at 4am wih the chinese lady weve come to love
~bummin a few from complete strangers
~bushes....

you wouldnt believe how many more

tell me its not worth it...

There's a time and place, for everything.
There's a reason why, certain people meet.
There's a destination, for everyone.
What's the explination, when we're done?

All the summer nights spent wondering;
So many questions asked, but no one's answering.
Would it be okay if I left today?
Took my chances on what you said was wrong?

I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret.
These years spent, so faded and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years.
I'll never regret these years.

Now here i sit, so far away.
Remembering all our memories.
Its times like these that I miss you most,
Remembering when we were so close.

I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, we'll never regret.
These years spent, so faded and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years.

We'll never forget the places we've been, you and i.
Our lives are slipping away.
Don't want to let time pass us by, byyyyyyy...

I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret.
These years....
...spent, so faded and wreckless,
Not sorry, and I'll never regret...
I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years...

i hope you feel the same...