heh
It is two in the morning and I'm off to bed. Per the urging of my girl and my own consience I think it is time to start sharing more often in my journal again. Although tonight will not be a gang-buster entry. I'm sleepy.
The one thing of real significance that had me thinking for a while today was a test that I took. Probably one of the easiest tests I've ever had to take. I knew all of the answers without any hesitation (well, mostly) and I was the first one done. Okay, I was the only one to take it...it was an AIDS test. Nicole and I had an appointment today at planned parenthood. We are trying to become more responsible individuals in all areas of our lives and sex was one of them. So we went and got some birth control and I got a test. I hadn't thought much about the appointment as we had discussed it over the last few days but as it was within mere hours today my heart really got to be heavy. It is a cumbersome task to recall every risk you've encountered in your life. I had flashbacks to a crazy night with a drunk peruvian beast and that freaky chick from the bowling alley. Jesus, what have I stuck my dick in? My solace, as weak as this may sound is only this: If the rock stars and rap guys can do it for years without regret or reprecussion...why can't I? Still...now I'm left to wait for a couple of weeks. Odd, I don't like waiting for the answer.
Of no concern however, things continue. Work is starting to pick up again. I've got alot to do and I need to start early. Goodnight.
Before much more time passes I feel like it is imperative that I find a reference point for my life. Update this little book about my girl and my job. In that order.
Speaking plainly, I have always been able to write in my journal without consideration of who is reading it. But I was confronted the other night by my girl who said she had read through the entire thing...line by line. I just did the same and am now slightly embarrased. Not on her behalf, but what if others were to read it who I've included in it. This is not only real but likely in terms of my new girl and I don't know exaclty how to respond yet. I suspect, and have held true to it tonight to not hold back my thoughts and inner monologue. I have dedicated this scratch to Chad and he was cuttingly honest in his own journal...i shall do the same. Here's to you my lost friend.
Here's to you, those who are not lost yet.
The one thing of real significance that had me thinking for a while today was a test that I took. Probably one of the easiest tests I've ever had to take. I knew all of the answers without any hesitation (well, mostly) and I was the first one done. Okay, I was the only one to take it...it was an AIDS test. Nicole and I had an appointment today at planned parenthood. We are trying to become more responsible individuals in all areas of our lives and sex was one of them. So we went and got some birth control and I got a test. I hadn't thought much about the appointment as we had discussed it over the last few days but as it was within mere hours today my heart really got to be heavy. It is a cumbersome task to recall every risk you've encountered in your life. I had flashbacks to a crazy night with a drunk peruvian beast and that freaky chick from the bowling alley. Jesus, what have I stuck my dick in? My solace, as weak as this may sound is only this: If the rock stars and rap guys can do it for years without regret or reprecussion...why can't I? Still...now I'm left to wait for a couple of weeks. Odd, I don't like waiting for the answer.
Of no concern however, things continue. Work is starting to pick up again. I've got alot to do and I need to start early. Goodnight.
Before much more time passes I feel like it is imperative that I find a reference point for my life. Update this little book about my girl and my job. In that order.
Speaking plainly, I have always been able to write in my journal without consideration of who is reading it. But I was confronted the other night by my girl who said she had read through the entire thing...line by line. I just did the same and am now slightly embarrased. Not on her behalf, but what if others were to read it who I've included in it. This is not only real but likely in terms of my new girl and I don't know exaclty how to respond yet. I suspect, and have held true to it tonight to not hold back my thoughts and inner monologue. I have dedicated this scratch to Chad and he was cuttingly honest in his own journal...i shall do the same. Here's to you my lost friend.
Here's to you, those who are not lost yet.