too long
Its been so long...too long since I've made an entry. And in this life things move so quick - I can't hope to cover what I've missed just catch up on where I'm at. I'm working at the skating rink still, but the road has become a path and the path is overgrown. I'm done. The offer to own my own rink was dissolved when the seller of the rink backed out, I am not quitting nor am I fired...simply redundant and no longer needed. Essentially there is no reason to train as a manager if I've got no one to manage. I am done at the rink at the end of Aug. I am moving back in with my parents. It hurts to make so many backwards steps all at the same time. I'm tired. My folks were very gracious and gave me no shit when I asked to move in again - they have always been very supportive of me and my decisions. I have to move a house into a room and I must be honest when I say that it won't be comfortable. I can't have women over - I can't party late at night - I can't drink myself into a stuppor on random thursday nights for no reason at all. I probably will be fed though, and considering I've lost obsence lbs since I've been responsible for feeding myself the meal thing may not be so bad. Go mom! I have a girlfriend that I admit being committed to. The whole one woman-man thing is a little bit scary but the current girl seems worth while. Actually - no, she doesn't! I, like the rest of the men in the family, have a wicked curse to try and fix women. This one needs alot of work. She is anorexic - hospital bills to prove it - and has a viciously low self-image. She doesn't feel comfortable being looked at. I feel like I'm 16 again - looking at my girlfriend under pulled-up covers. The appeal of a relationship is worth far more to me than having to put up with someone elses shit - if my past is a template...this appeal should wane in about 4 months or so and then I'll want to break up for another 3 months or so and finally do it 1 month after that. Ahh...25 years old and still as mature as I was when I was 16. I gave the count the other day...Brandi is number 15 for me. I thought she was like 10ish but I wrote down the names on a sheet of paper and the "what was her name again?s" just kept coming. I have a few on the list without names - The Drunk Peruvian - The bowling ally chick - Dan's Sister's Friend - But mostly its filled with fond memories of dear girlfriends who I will never speak with again. Ahh-damn life has been precious. I intend on going back to school this semester, I can't go back to Metro though...I owe them waaay too much money. I haven't actually asked if they'll have me...I just assume that they wont. So I think its front range this semester. If I skip around to any more schools I'm just going to be mad at myself for being such a non-commited asshole. I sort of wonder how my life can possibly progress at this point. I see myself ten years from now still thinking about the next greatest thing that I could do - quitting whatever it is I'm currently doing to pursue that- and then giving up on that new thing too. The truth has ceased to hurt, now it just is what it is.
Now I feel bad. The current girl isn't horrible...she's just not someone that I could ever consider as being worth while. It is unfortunate that all of us have so many issues and dating isn't about love its merely about compatibility: "does my shit conflict with her shit" I'm still a skeptic about marriage and now completely opposed to children for ANYONE! Were it left to me this generation would be the last on the face of the earth. Stop multiplying....just stop.
Thats it. Josh is heading out to maryland to hang out with Danielles family. Bless his soul, I've had to hang out with her family and let me tell ya...its not easy. Having a good time at their gettogethers is like trying to have a good time a Shakespeare-in-mime festival....its based on a real good thing but its gone tragically wrong.
Mark sold his house. He'll be coming out this weekend to move the remains of his stuff out so I'll be taking the day off to help him.
Blah Blah Blah...I'm going to consider myself caught up.
Now I feel bad. The current girl isn't horrible...she's just not someone that I could ever consider as being worth while. It is unfortunate that all of us have so many issues and dating isn't about love its merely about compatibility: "does my shit conflict with her shit" I'm still a skeptic about marriage and now completely opposed to children for ANYONE! Were it left to me this generation would be the last on the face of the earth. Stop multiplying....just stop.
Thats it. Josh is heading out to maryland to hang out with Danielles family. Bless his soul, I've had to hang out with her family and let me tell ya...its not easy. Having a good time at their gettogethers is like trying to have a good time a Shakespeare-in-mime festival....its based on a real good thing but its gone tragically wrong.
Mark sold his house. He'll be coming out this weekend to move the remains of his stuff out so I'll be taking the day off to help him.
Blah Blah Blah...I'm going to consider myself caught up.