Don't speak
FAN FICTION
Title: Don't speak
Fandom: Gackt x Hyde
Genre: Shounen Ai
Pairing: GakuHai
Rating: PG
Language: English
Note: My first language is German, this is just a translation, my english is horrible and I wrote this at 5 a.m, because I couldn't sleep ^^ Thanks to shiika for proof reading <3
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
>> Gackt's POV <<
~ Just kiss ~
I sat there like a stone, didn't dare to move just a millimeter. How ... how could we get in this situation? What did we do before ... I didn't know - my head was empty and I only heard the blood rushing in my ears.
My hands laid lazy on the arms of the chair and Hyde sat on my lap with spreaded legs. He looked at me with half opened lips and a weak, beautiful sparkling in his eyes. He seemed to be waiting for me to do something. But I didn't know, if I dared to. What if I destroyed everything with just a single word? And I would. Even the fact that we were here wasn't right - especially Hyde. He should be in his own room at this moment. But he was here - with me ... on my lap ... his face just a few millimeters away from mine.
“Haido.” I dared to rise my voice ... and did exactly that what I shouldn't have done: open my mouth. Just a second later Hyde puts a finger on my lips and I became silent.
“Shh. Don't say anything. I ... want to know how this sin tastes before I get this opportunity never again.”
I didn't understand his words. I heard them, but I didn't understand ... at least at the beginning. When Hyde kissed me I know what he had meant.
He pressed his lips on mine and again I didn't know what to do. I wished I could kiss him back. But was this allowed to me?
My thoughts disappeared quickly when Hyde's tongue licked over my lower lip. I couldn't resist, opened my mouth willingly and let him in.
I buried my hands automatically in his soft blond hair while he was digging his fingers into my shirt.
Suddenly Hyde's tongue was in my mouth, started to explore the unknown area and begun to fight with mine. Our tongues interweaved each other and let this kiss become hotter and hotter. I couldn't put into words what I was feeling at this moment. Maybe it was luck or desire or satisfaction - maybe a mixture of all of them.
But there was also a bitter taste when Hyde broke off our too short kiss. He breathed heavily and stared at me with that expectant look again. His cheeks were red.
He bit on his lower lip and smiled lightly.
“You're tasting good”, he whispered before he trailed off. Silence ... And I couldn't speak. But even if - What should I tell him?
“Thanks ... you too”, I finally said after a few seconds. And it was the biggest understatement ever. He tasted so sweet, so incredibly sweet. It was like heaven on earth and if it would be possible I would kiss him for the very rest of my life.
But ... how should this really go on?
He guessed that I cared for him - I could feel it. And what I knew was that I could never own him ... not even for one single night.
It hurt to realize again that there was just two month of collaboration left. After this everything would end - Hyde would leave me alone ...
Of course it wasn't him who hurt me all the time. I kept on hoping and hurt myself with that stupid hopes. But there was no chance ... no chance of not thinking like this, because now Hyde kissed me again. It was just a short kiss, much shorter than the last one, and this time I broke off. I didn't want misunderstandings - I needed to tell him my feelings directly.
“Haido.” I said “I lo-”
“No!” He shook his head vehemently. “No, Gacchan, don't say that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I love you, too.” He sighed sadly before he continued speaking: “There's no chance, it isn't enough. I chose Megumi and I can't take back my decision. I'm happy and I don't want to risk this just to try if we can work this out.”
His words resounded in my head. He didn't lie to me.
I had wished that he loved me - well, he did - but I could see clearly how happy he was with his wife.
Hyde was right. We ... no, I wasn't allowed to destroy his life by forcing him to make my wishes come true against his will.
“Please, don't be mad at me, Gacchan.”
No, I'm not.
“I don't want to hurt you.”
You don't.
“You're so important to me.”
You to me, too.
And that's why ...
“You have to leave, Haido.” It was better - for the both of us.
“Hm.”
“Good night, Haido.”
“Good night, Gacchan. See you tomorrow at the film set.”
“Yeah.”
He gave me a last kiss on the cheek before he left me ... for ever. I could swear he had whispered a “fare well” into my ear.
Title: Don't speak
Fandom: Gackt x Hyde
Genre: Shounen Ai
Pairing: GakuHai
Rating: PG
Language: English
Note: My first language is German, this is just a translation, my english is horrible and I wrote this at 5 a.m, because I couldn't sleep ^^ Thanks to shiika for proof reading <3
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
>> Gackt's POV <<
~ Just kiss ~
I sat there like a stone, didn't dare to move just a millimeter. How ... how could we get in this situation? What did we do before ... I didn't know - my head was empty and I only heard the blood rushing in my ears.
My hands laid lazy on the arms of the chair and Hyde sat on my lap with spreaded legs. He looked at me with half opened lips and a weak, beautiful sparkling in his eyes. He seemed to be waiting for me to do something. But I didn't know, if I dared to. What if I destroyed everything with just a single word? And I would. Even the fact that we were here wasn't right - especially Hyde. He should be in his own room at this moment. But he was here - with me ... on my lap ... his face just a few millimeters away from mine.
“Haido.” I dared to rise my voice ... and did exactly that what I shouldn't have done: open my mouth. Just a second later Hyde puts a finger on my lips and I became silent.
“Shh. Don't say anything. I ... want to know how this sin tastes before I get this opportunity never again.”
I didn't understand his words. I heard them, but I didn't understand ... at least at the beginning. When Hyde kissed me I know what he had meant.
He pressed his lips on mine and again I didn't know what to do. I wished I could kiss him back. But was this allowed to me?
My thoughts disappeared quickly when Hyde's tongue licked over my lower lip. I couldn't resist, opened my mouth willingly and let him in.
I buried my hands automatically in his soft blond hair while he was digging his fingers into my shirt.
Suddenly Hyde's tongue was in my mouth, started to explore the unknown area and begun to fight with mine. Our tongues interweaved each other and let this kiss become hotter and hotter. I couldn't put into words what I was feeling at this moment. Maybe it was luck or desire or satisfaction - maybe a mixture of all of them.
But there was also a bitter taste when Hyde broke off our too short kiss. He breathed heavily and stared at me with that expectant look again. His cheeks were red.
He bit on his lower lip and smiled lightly.
“You're tasting good”, he whispered before he trailed off. Silence ... And I couldn't speak. But even if - What should I tell him?
“Thanks ... you too”, I finally said after a few seconds. And it was the biggest understatement ever. He tasted so sweet, so incredibly sweet. It was like heaven on earth and if it would be possible I would kiss him for the very rest of my life.
But ... how should this really go on?
He guessed that I cared for him - I could feel it. And what I knew was that I could never own him ... not even for one single night.
It hurt to realize again that there was just two month of collaboration left. After this everything would end - Hyde would leave me alone ...
Of course it wasn't him who hurt me all the time. I kept on hoping and hurt myself with that stupid hopes. But there was no chance ... no chance of not thinking like this, because now Hyde kissed me again. It was just a short kiss, much shorter than the last one, and this time I broke off. I didn't want misunderstandings - I needed to tell him my feelings directly.
“Haido.” I said “I lo-”
“No!” He shook his head vehemently. “No, Gacchan, don't say that.”
“Why not?”
“Because I love you, too.” He sighed sadly before he continued speaking: “There's no chance, it isn't enough. I chose Megumi and I can't take back my decision. I'm happy and I don't want to risk this just to try if we can work this out.”
His words resounded in my head. He didn't lie to me.
I had wished that he loved me - well, he did - but I could see clearly how happy he was with his wife.
Hyde was right. We ... no, I wasn't allowed to destroy his life by forcing him to make my wishes come true against his will.
“Please, don't be mad at me, Gacchan.”
No, I'm not.
“I don't want to hurt you.”
You don't.
“You're so important to me.”
You to me, too.
And that's why ...
“You have to leave, Haido.” It was better - for the both of us.
“Hm.”
“Good night, Haido.”
“Good night, Gacchan. See you tomorrow at the film set.”
“Yeah.”
He gave me a last kiss on the cheek before he left me ... for ever. I could swear he had whispered a “fare well” into my ear.