(no subject)
So my car won't start.
Fuck.
I'm really not sure what to do now about everything. I had planned to go scour the mall today for a gift for someone, but it seems I'm going to have to resort to plan B. I need to buy a white shirt, too, and write that Junior Moment thing on it.
God, the Junior Moment is going to suck. I think. Maybe not. We need to rehearse.
Fuck, we NEED TO REHEARSE! Is that spelled right? r-e-h-e-a-r-s-e... I guess so. Life is hell. Life is a bitch Michael; learn to fuck it. But is it a Michael Furey or a Michael Galloway? Yes, that is the question.
((lamelamelamelamelamelamelamelamelamelame))
Will someone tell me how CJ does that? GOD. Since when is it a crime to want a boy as more than a fuck toy? FUCK. YOU. I could have the fucking sex if I wanted it, but I don't. Not like that. I crush on people all the time, but I never actually like them like I like you. And everyone's saying "Tell him. Tell him how you feel. Go on. Tell him" (well, not Diana), so I tell him! I tell him not only because they're encouraging me to, but because I'm quaking like a fucking earthquake trying to hold it all in. And because really, "what have I got to lose?" Yeah, a big grin and slap in the face for that one. I didn't realize it, but I had a whole LOT to lose. Like my dignity. Like any shred of self-confidence I had before my stupid, soul-bearing confession.
And POW! smack-in-the-face. A big-ass "rejected" stamped on my forehead and I get to be miserable seeing your face for the next month.
Thank you, so very fucking much.
Le sigh. It just isn't fair, I tell you. "No, life's not fair." It just isn't. The next year could be hell. Or it could be heaven. There's too much chance in this game. I don't like it.
"What you're feeling, Chase, is a chemical reaction that happens whenever you see him! And when two people find each other and they both feel that same reaction when they're around one another, magical things happen."
Oh, that makes me feel better. Not. I guess it's kind of like Margaret Cho and babies, hey?
The only chemical reaction he'll ever feel is... no, I actually can't say that. Nice to know I still have some sort of logic or compassion.
Ah, well. All in a day's rant.
Fuck.
I'm really not sure what to do now about everything. I had planned to go scour the mall today for a gift for someone, but it seems I'm going to have to resort to plan B. I need to buy a white shirt, too, and write that Junior Moment thing on it.
God, the Junior Moment is going to suck. I think. Maybe not. We need to rehearse.
Fuck, we NEED TO REHEARSE! Is that spelled right? r-e-h-e-a-r-s-e... I guess so. Life is hell. Life is a bitch Michael; learn to fuck it. But is it a Michael Furey or a Michael Galloway? Yes, that is the question.
((lamelamelamelamelamelamelamelamelamelame))
Will someone tell me how CJ does that? GOD. Since when is it a crime to want a boy as more than a fuck toy? FUCK. YOU. I could have the fucking sex if I wanted it, but I don't. Not like that. I crush on people all the time, but I never actually like them like I like you. And everyone's saying "Tell him. Tell him how you feel. Go on. Tell him" (well, not Diana), so I tell him! I tell him not only because they're encouraging me to, but because I'm quaking like a fucking earthquake trying to hold it all in. And because really, "what have I got to lose?" Yeah, a big grin and slap in the face for that one. I didn't realize it, but I had a whole LOT to lose. Like my dignity. Like any shred of self-confidence I had before my stupid, soul-bearing confession.
And POW! smack-in-the-face. A big-ass "rejected" stamped on my forehead and I get to be miserable seeing your face for the next month.
Thank you, so very fucking much.
Le sigh. It just isn't fair, I tell you. "No, life's not fair." It just isn't. The next year could be hell. Or it could be heaven. There's too much chance in this game. I don't like it.
"What you're feeling, Chase, is a chemical reaction that happens whenever you see him! And when two people find each other and they both feel that same reaction when they're around one another, magical things happen."
Oh, that makes me feel better. Not. I guess it's kind of like Margaret Cho and babies, hey?
The only chemical reaction he'll ever feel is... no, I actually can't say that. Nice to know I still have some sort of logic or compassion.
Ah, well. All in a day's rant.